Monday, July 22, 2013

Epilepsy Was My Lesson in Self Care

18 Years Old & Diagnosised with Epilespy
18 Years Old & Diagnosised with Epilespy
When I was 18 I was diagnosed with Epilepsy and put on a prescription of Dilantin.

It was my freshman year in college and I was terrified I would make a mistake. I took the hardest classes I could get my hands on. Advanced Placement Chemistry and Russian Language would have been enough for anyone but I had to add on Economics, Religion 101 and a filmmaking class for fun.

I had begun to get headaches and pass out on occasion. It would come with no warning. I would get dizzy and the next thing I knew I was in a heap on the floor. My diagnosis meant I couldn't have a driver's license, I had to take this mind-numbing medication and I certainly didn't linger in stairwells.

I was taken to a few Neurologists. They gave me the regular battery of tests. But even the EEG that I had to stay up all night for revealed nothing.

Now I must add that the head of the Neurology department did make the suggestion to practice martial arts. At the time that seemed like a very off the wall suggestion, in retrospect it was probably the best advice I received at the time.

What the tests couldn't detect is what was going on in my head. The fear, the self criticism, the "if it's not perfect it's RUINED" attitude.

I had myself wound up beyond recognition.

Yesterday I proudly watched our teens share their experience at camp. I was just so impressed with their poise and application of Principle in their lives. Their self knowledge, their compassion for others and themselves, their wisdom and their ability to articulate what is going on with themselves.

What a gift to have these tools and teachings and support at this age. Meditation alone would have been transformational!

I think that is why I am so glad my girls are here. They know that life unfolds as it should. They know to listen to their inner wisdom and that they are creative beings in a creative universe.