|Self Worth: Steeped in Awareness|
Have you ever loved something and left it? I am not referring to people but that might it applicable too!
I have been basking in the glow of love and gratitude from Wednesday night's Metaphysical Interpretation of the Beatles! How blessed we are to have such talent and consciousness at our Center! Rev. Karyn Allen, Rick Dale and Dave Friedman did an outstanding job in providing both the music and the interpretation. The room was buzzing with the sounds of a happy community for quite awhile after their performances.
Today I had a conversation about my musical background which reminded me of what an important part of my life music has been. My piano sits unplayed, month after month. At one time I could just sit and play for hours, it was a way of feeling my deep feelings, and an expression of my creativity. Then I made a decision, maybe consciously maybe subjectively, that my ability was not good enough. I compared myself to the wonderful musicians in our Center and I came up lacking. So I stopped playing. I stopped doing something in my own home which brings me pleasure because I judged it as inferior to others. This was quite crazy!
Can you relate? Have you ever stopped doing something you like to do because you thought you were not good enough? Over the years I have paid for music lessons with the intention not only of learning a new skill but also I improving that skill. I really have not been successful with music lessons since I was 17 years old. I wouldn't practice enough to improve my skill. When I was a kid singing and playing piano were favorite pastimes. My parents encouraged me to learn to play piano. I used to hide behind it in social settings when it would be more comfortable to play and sing than to socialize with an extended family that I didn't know that well.
What I remembered today was that when I volunteered 30 years ago to be the accompanist for the music in the new Center I was attending, I wasn't that good. But I volunteered because the poor guy who had been trying to accompany on an accordion was really terrible! I knew I could provide something better. Besides it only involved learning two songs, and one of them was the Peace Song and would be sung every week. Also the Center was in its infancy -- and at most there were only 15 people in attendance. I knew I could do that! Five years later I was playing every Sunday, had a choir that I rehearsed with. (Honestly it was probably one of the worst choirs in history, but we had fun!) But the Center had grown and so had my confidence and skill.
Why is this story relevant to my life and maybe yours today? Whatever is going on, I remember that if I start with small, and commit to daily practice I can improve anything. I am going to listen to the stirrings of my heart and let creative expression flow! All the desires of our hearts were placed there by the Creator.
Are you listening to your desires?