|Your life: What a story to tell.|
In the Joyous Living Journal, March 8 is titled, The Script of your Life. Rewriting your life story can be quite an undertaking, especially if not ready for it. Imagine everything that you are, everything that you thought you knew, all being completely topsy-turvy. How would you be in the world if everything was turned upside down? When you are living with remnants of thoughts that do not serve you, seeking out a change to living may start to look alluring. It can take on a life of its own, when you decide that it's time for a change. Once you make that decision, your world starts to come into a different view. When you begin to come from a different reference point, your peripheral vision begins to expand and you start to look at life as you have never seen before.
A shift in perception occurred in my own life recently. I attended a one-day event as a guest from a friend's invitation. I wasn't really sure what to expect, I went with an open heart and willingness to experience whatever happens. It was a group of about 16 people. As the introductions of each participant occurred, I felt at ease. Then, as the facilitator, from the Academy of Intuition, Ghazaleh Lowe, began to question the participants, I felt the stirring occur.
As the day went on I was in a lot of physical pain. My headache was huge and all my cells felt on fire. It was an uncomfortable experience to say the least, however I knew that something was really happening, something was really changing. All these years living with an unresolved emotion were pouring out of my body, and pain was the by-product of suppression. The emotion revolving around the judgment I have on myself as a special needs parent, and regarding the label of Autism was the subject of my stirrings. The past suppression felt necessary so they wouldn't get in the way of my advocacy. However, this was the time I choose to release them. At the end of the day I was physically exhausted, and I needed rest.
Over the course of the days following, I was in an interesting place, moving through life in a more profound contemplation and introspection. Did I really change? This is the question I am left with when in contemplation. What I have found is that the question has to stop being asked, and at some point the answer has to take over, embodied and acted upon. The really interesting part of it all is that the real answer is two-sided. Did I really change? "Yes" and "No." "Yes," in regards to thoughts, "No," in regards to the true nature of who I am as a Spiritual Being. All the thoughts in my head can be a distraction from knowing Self, yet Self is always Known. The action is to remain connected throughout the entire day, not just during meditation or in prayer, in every moment of life, training myself to continually come back to center. I do not have to remind myself to breathe, my body automatically functions without me having to think about it. This is the call to action of this training, constantly come back to the Awareness of Now. Be in a state of constant connection, so the thoughts floating in my mind can be tamed, or become non-existent.
And the end of the group, Ghazaleh asked me, "Are you ready for this?" My answer, "Yes." her response, "Are you sure?" my response, "No." Being open to the Yes, I am ready to revise my story because this is not my Final Draft.