What is Your Sacred Work?

Finding your path to prosperity.

 My sister, Julie Pelligrino shared her insights about Prosperity Consciousness with us at the Parent Forum yesterday. (She is visiting from Gettysburg, PA, and was inspired to write this during her flight here.) Happy Reading!

We cannot experience Perfect Prosperity when we are living in a way which is out of alignment with our highest Self and our Soul purpose.

Work is a Sacred word. Job is not. When we begin to do our work (either at a job or outside a job) we will begin to see our prosperity manifest. The idea that there is a hidden belief or a wrong attitude creating our lack is the same as saying that all disease is caused by dis-ease.

It is true that stress, attitudes, and false beliefs manifest as illness, but it is also true that cancer can be a chosen part of the Soul's journey.Was Christ crucified? Was this due to a lack of union with the Divine on the part of his Spirit? Or as a demonstration of the lack of union for us?

We must be careful not to feel blame when we experience lack.

There is operating in some people a false belief, but for most, our lack is just a doorway, a sign on our path. If we were comfortably abundant, we would be comfortably numb. The purpose of incarnating in the physical form is to fully experience the Divine principles.

The Law of Compensation states that energy cannot by created or destroyed, but only transformed. What we put out comes back to us. If we put forth effort and think nothing is returning,  in truth, it is very likely we are putting forth effort in a state of lack. It we work to overcome lack, then it will only increase lack. Remember, what we focus expands. When we work to create Love, to give Love, to manifest Love, then Love, in all its abundant forms will be made manifest. The Law works both ways.

Our sacred work is to live the highest expression of ourselves; anything else brings lack, which is how lack acts as our Divine teacher.

"But what am I supposed to do?" we may ask.

Very few are so disconnected from Self and Spirit that they do not actually know the answer to that question. However, it is in the Knowing that we are called to express our Divinity that can be frightening... better to live in lack than express the highest. Knowing, as we do, that we challenge others to do the same.

All we need to do to know our work - our purpose - is to notice when we smile, 

which is when Life moves through us. 

We may need to go back to grammar school and recall the different feelings of cutting & pasting, simple addition, or a game of tether ball to find what made us smile. When we do, keep a smile journal.Those smiles are like lightening - they illuminate the darkness. Capture and record those moments.

Please open fully to the awareness that there are living, self-actualized saints among us, who have jobs as custodians and lunch ladies and CEOs. Those are their jobs, not their lives.

Our current system of trading time for money, and money for goods is shifting. We are beginning to open to the idea of our eternal, limitless divinity.

There is no time in God

There is no money in God

There is no stuff in God

Know this all that you need, or want, 

exists in the garden.

We return to the Garden when we align with our divinity.
We are created in the image of God, and we are limitless.

Welcome Spring! Come Join Our Relay Team!

So today is the first day of Spring! I didn't know the date when I woke this morning, but everything was still just a little brighter, a little better, and I didn't know why. (Though I probably did subconsciously, but let's not spoil the moment.)

I love all of those days that we use to mark the passing of the seasons: Vernal Equinox, Summer Solstice, Autumnal Equinox and Winter Solstice. Their very names sound magical, don't they? Here in Southern California, a calender is just about the only way to tell we've changed seasons sometimes.

Except that the days grow longer...

During the spring and summer, we have more hours of daylight to spend with those we love. I am thrilled to know that we are one day closer to the warm, sunny days of summer, but there is something extra special about today...

The first day of Spring, is also known as the vernal equinox. For those of you who are a little rusty on your Latin, vernal means "pertaining to spring or sunshine," and equinox is Latin for "equal night," meaning that the day and night are both equal in length. From here on out, the days will be longer and sunnier (June gloom not withstanding).

Today is a new beginning - a perfect day to start or join something new. I know I have a ton of projects I'd like to do around my house. As I think of the home improvement projects I want to start, and for a moment, I think of my two brothers who were felled by cancer in the prime of their lives. They were both so handy with tools - quite the opposite of my beloved husband, who is more skilled with a keyboard.

This horrid disease robbed them from their families far too soon, and after all these years, it's still hard for me to see the "good." I must confess, that to this day, their absence leaves me with a gaping, sucking hole in my heart.

Sadly, I know that I am not alone in that ache. Each day in the United States, approximately 1,600 people will say goodbye for the last time to their families because of cancer - 1,660,290 new cases will be diagnosed this year, and the disease is expected to claim 580,530 lives in 2013.

It doesn't have to be this way.

Research has shown that many forms of cancer can be prevented by simple lifestyle changes.That research was funded in part by the Relay For Life, which is the American Cancer Society's signature fundraiser. It is a 24-hour event in which volunteer teams take turns walking the track. Symbolically, in some cases literally, staying up all night in recognition of the fact that cancer never sleeps. In over 25 years of Relaying, participants have raised millions help fund research for lifesaving treatments, patient education and awareness. The goal is to remove cancer as a major health threat.

This year, the Center is pleased to have a team at the Relay. 

Join us in this new beginning - it's as easy as walking.

We will participate in the San Clemente Relay For Life on July 26-27, 2014 at the San Clemente High School Track, and we would love for you to join us! Your consciousness would be the perfect addition. In fact, we are contemplating asking people sign up to hold a prayer vigil at our campsite (to hold consciousness) as well as walking the track.

It's really easy to sign up. Just click here to register for our team: Center for Spiritual Living Capo Valley: Centered For Life.

So save the date! July 26-27 at San Clemente High School. The fun starts at 9:00 AM Saturday, but bring your sleeping bag, cuz we'll be there until 9:00 AM Sunday - unless you really can't stay... it won't be the same without you, but we understand. It's a team effort, and you're a blessing whether you do a little or a lot!

Rain or Shine: It's all about Perspective

In just a couple of days, Saturday morning to be exact, I am slated to walk in the Festival of the Whales parade with my teenage daughters, Marissa and Alison. We volunteered to help carry the large balloons down the parade route as part of our National Charity League service hours. It’s something we’ve done every year since joining the chapter, and it has become something of a tradition for us.

It’s not easy to guide those balloons down the parade route. It can get pretty sketchy dodging the various traffic signals, street lights and trees along the way. Add some wind to the mix, and it really gets dicey. However, they assign someone from the balloon company to escort us down the parade route (to make sure we don’t inadvertently destroy the balloon – those things are expensive!) so we always manage to survive our adventure.

So here we are… gearing up for this year’s parade, which seems to be offering something new: rain. Lots of rain, according to the forecasts that Alison has been monitoring like this really is the storm of the century! I am grateful for the rain, and do not wish it away, but I’ll admit, the timing is inconvenient. They tell us the parade goes on rain or shine, so I’m looking forward to see how they’ll do this.  I am, however, even more interested in how the three of us have responded to the prospect of carrying the balloon in the rain…

"Between stimulus and response there is a space.

In that space is our power to choose our response.

In our response lies our growth and our freedom." Viktor Frankl 

Alison plans to strike a deal with the cosmos. It is her intention that the heavens will part and the rain will cease for the duration of the parade. I am totally on board with that, however, I must confess, I feel the need to leave nothing to chance. I have been digging out the foul weather gear and trying to figure out how I can carry an umbrella without damaging the balloon. I welcome the rain, because I know we need it, but I want to stay warm and dry during the parade. That’s not too much to ask, is it? Marissa has embraced the whole adventure. Her only concern is that she hopes they will let us carry the eagle again this year, because it was particularly challenging last time. (It was rather windy, and our crew struggled to control the balloon. As if on cue, the eagle balloon took a nosedive as we passed the announcer’s booth, prompting him tell the crowd, “The eagle has landed.” Our crew was mortified, but it was funny!)

Hopefully, we will be greeted by sunshine breaking through the clouds. Regardless, my water polo playing daughters don’t mind getting wet (that would be me), but I’m going to pack some rain gear in the car. Just in case they decide that warm and dry is nice, too.

Rain or shine, the three of us will be there Saturday morning, each with our own perspective on how the rain affects our experience. 

In every situation we are at choice.

Self-Love is Just the Beginning. So Let's Get Started!

Today’s entry from the book “The Joyous Living Journal” is entitled “Self-Love,” and the affirmation reminds me:

“I love myself just the way that I am.

 I know I will continue to grow and learn,

but who I am is already precious and beautiful.”

I just love the timing for this!

Tomorrow, of course, the Women’s Groups is hosting a Girls Night Out at 7pm that will feature a workshop/intuitive art class with an emphasis on self-love. (Lisa McClure gave all the details in her blog post "Art Workshop with Psychic and Local Medium Ginger Roberts", but you can email amygreenroyd at gmail dot com for details.)

I had already signed up to attend to workshop, but if I needed any confirmation, the universe gave me a gentle reminder with today’s journal entry. The messages always seem to come, don’t they? Even if we’re not particularly listening... The thing is, they keep coming when we refuse to listen - they just get much louder, until we can’t help but listen, but that is another topic...Fortunately, I am learning to listen to the gentle nudge.

Learning to love ourselves is truly the key to being able to enjoy happy, fulfilling relationships, and to having any sort of meaningful success..

Perhaps it is time to put away the tapes of negative comments that have been playing in your head ever since you were a child, and replace them the knowledge that you are a miracle of love, light, life, beauty, power, peace and joy. It all resides within you and radiates as you.

I’m looking forward to the workshop tomorrow. Not sure what the outcome will be, except that I’ll spend the evening with a group of wonderful, witty, wise and compassionate ladies who always leave me feeling better for having spent time with them. If you’ve never had a chance to hang out with the ladies from the Center for Spiritual Living Capistrano Valley Women’s Group, I encourage you to do so – you’ll be glad you did.

Melissa

A Head Start on 365 Days of Inspiration!

I just picked up my copy of "365 Days of Inspiration: Joyous Living Journal" by Petra Weldes and Christian Sorensen, and I am so excited! Seriously. It may seem a little odd to get worked up about a book of daily inspirations/quotes. After all, don't most of us have at least a dozen of them floating around our homes, cars and offices? If you've seen one, you've likely seen them all - the formula doesn't vary much...

This book, however, is special... Perhaps that is why Dr. Heather selected it as the book to take us through the year.

From the carefully selected monthly themes, that seem to flow effortlessly into each other, to the daily quotes, the book is well-aligned to the Centers for Spiritual Living philosophy. Considering the rather broad chorus of voices the authors assembled for the daily quotes, (ranging from Ernest Holmes to Friedrich Nietzsche, Mae West and Lao Tzu) it was refreshing to note the harmony that resulted from that combination.

I particularly love the Contemplation/Reflection prompt at the end of each daily message. It is an opportunity for the reader to reflect on what has been presented, to go within and see what bubbles up. A small space is allotted on the page, but Dr. Heather made the brilliant suggestion of using a separate journal to write your daily response. I love this idea. I allows you to share this book with family members without worrying about sharing your private thoughts, and it preserves the book in case you want to visit the pages again in a few years.

Though the passages are brief, if you open yourself to the process, and take a few minutes each day, the act of journaling can have powerful results.

Anyway, the bookstore just received another shipment, so they are well-stocked. I encourage you to stop by the Center for Spiritual Living Capistrano Valley and pick up your copy while they still have them.

I look forward to hearing Dr. Heather's insights each Sunday as she goes through this journal, and I look forward to revealing my own. It is going to be an amazing year.

A Satisfying Way to Spend New Year's Eve

Christmas 2013 is but a happy memory. It was a day full of activity, but the activity was focused around people we love, making it one of the best days of the year.

Now, we are turning to another favorite holiday: New Year’s Eve. I love this day because it presents an opportunity to reflect on the past twelve months – what worked, what didn’t – and make changes as we enter the New Year... 

It’s like cleaning the slate to set our intention on what we really want to see happen in our lives.

Such powerful stuff – but only if you take the time to do it. Set the priority, do the homework, and see the results.

The Center for Spiritual Living Capistrano Valley is offering a really cool tool to help with that process of reflection and intention: a Burning Bowl and Labyrinth at the Center on Dec 31.

Here are the details from the Center’s Facebook page:

For many of us, New Year’s Eve is a time to turn inward and reflect. We examine our lives and explore those parts that no longer serve us — preparing to release them. At the same time, we look ahead to the New Year, allowing our ideas and thoughts to form a picture of our lives as we intend them to be — welcoming in the wonderful newness.

This year, the Center is hosting a Burning Bowl Ceremony and Labyrinth Walk to assist you in this spiritual practice. The sanctuary, with Labyrinth will open at 7 p.m. on New Year’s Eve beginning with the Burning Bowl.

For this segment of the ritual, you will meditate at your own pace, and write on a piece of paper all of the things that no longer serve you. You release these thoughts, placing them in the Burning Bowl. As you then walk the Labyrinth, enter with the energy of surrender. As you approach the center, you approach illumination. As you walk out, you embrace your new life.

The sanctuary will remain open and available until midnight.

It starts at 7:00PM, so those of you who have other plans will still have time to go out and ring in the New Year. Alternatively, the sanctuary will be open until midnight. 

What better way to welcome 2014 than in the midst of spiritual practice?

Either way, I hope to see you there!

How to Avoid Holiday Overload

It’s the first week of December and my calendar is full. We have school functions, water polo tournaments, church functions, family visits and myriad other holiday-related activities that seem to punctuate most people’s calendars this time of year. Adding anything else at this point will require some serious juggling, and possibly forms - filled out in triplicate, I suspect...

 There is always a lot going on at our house – and I like it that way. I do not, however, like the stress that comes with being over-scheduled. As we entered this month, I was already feeling a little over-committed. I knew that I needed to do something.

Fortunately, last month Dr. Heather’s focus was meditation, and I was inspired to develop the habit of starting my day with a morning meditation. What a difference a few minutes of daily meditation makes! (I’d like to tell you that I have consistently meditated every morning, but I have missed a few… which is how I can tell you that I notice the difference when I don’t do it.)

If you haven’t started meditating, I encourage you to start with Deepak Chopra’s guided meditations. You can find more information here.

The holiday season is considered by most people to be a time of joyous celebration. It’s a time for gathering together with those you love.

So what is it about the Holiday Season that causes some people to stress-out and go overboard?

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation is probably one of my favorite holiday movies. Who cannot relate, at least a little, to Clark Griswald’s desire to create the perfect Christmas for his family? We all sympathize as he carries on despite Fate throwing curve after curve at him. He finally snaps, but only when it appears that he has let his family down. He can shrug off disaster after disaster, but the thought of personally disappointing his family is more than he can bear, and he loses it. How many of us live under that type of self-imposed pressure during the holidays?

I could feel myself nearing the edge, and I did not want to go there. So, I set my attention on the intention of keeping this holiday season as stress-free as possible, despite the many activities my children, husband and I are involved in.

During my meditation, I posited the question: what needs to happen to keep this holiday season as happy, bright, joyful and connected as possible for me and my family?  

The answer that I received was to schedule “downtime” into my calendar each week. It’s not an answer I would naturally gravitate to, but I am going to trust the wisdom of my inner guidance. I know that the idea of scheduling downtime probably sounds obvious to some of you, but I am one of those can’t-just-sit-and-watch-TV types. I don't do downtime well, but I am really good at multi-tasking! I have blocked the Friday evenings as family/downtime (not all of my Fridays were open, so I used Sunday evening as an alternate). We have more Fridays open than Sundays this month, so it worked better, but I suspect Sunday will be the regular day if I decide to continue this beyond the holidays.

What will I do with my downtime? I hope to spend it with my family (or those family members who are available – I’m not going to increase my stress level by turning this into an attendance required activity). Maybe we will drive around to look at Christmas lights, or watch a holiday movie, or just take a walk. Maybe I’ll convince my children to put away their electronics and play Scrabble or Monopoly. Maybe we will bake some cookies… as long as it is fun! I do not intend to use the time to start a project – no cleaning out closets or reorganizing the garage.

There is no doubt that the holiday season brings its own special stress. Whether it’s the cantankerous, eccentric relatives, or the turkey that wouldn’t cooperate, there will likely be moments that threaten to push you to the limit. When that happens, actually, preferably before that happens, take some time to ask yourself what you need from this holiday season. The answer might be far simpler than you think. 

Tips for Making Meditation a Daily Habit

Meditation can often help one see the light through the trees!

So this month our focus is meditation... 

With all of the attention being given to the benefits of this ancient practice, I am reminded how much I enjoy it, and how good I feel when I make the time to do it - which isn't as often as I'd like... I can rattle off a list of excuses about my children's busy schedules and my hours of volunteer work, but that's what they would be: excuses. Interestingly, it's the same list I pull out every time my husband asks me about the gym membership I don't seem to use. 

Thinking of those excuses gave me a bit of an epiphany about meditation and exercise. Beyond being good for my mind, body and spirit, they also represent the idea of ME taking time for ME! I could say that I avoided the gym because of parking hassles, lines for machines, smelly, sweaty people everywhere, blah, blah, blah... but meditation doesn't have any of that. It is easy - I barely have to get out of bed to do it! I had to ask myself what message was I sending if I couldn't even commit to that? Couldn't give myself ten minutes per day? 

So I resolved, for the month of November, to make meditation a daily habit. I listened to Deepak Chopra's video tips, and have been carving out ten minutes each day. I want to tell you that it has been easy, but I will tell you that it has been worth it. I feel so much more centered.

If you haven't made meditation a daily habit, I encourage you to do so. Here are a few tips that might help you:

- Do it first thing in the morning. Set your alarm a few minutes early and start your day with a few minutes of mindful meditation. You will be glad you did! (I tend to be a night person, so I was really surprised by how effective this strategy was for me - it works!)

- Commit to eleven days. Research from Lift, the habit-forming app folks, says that 90% people trying to build the daily meditation habit are likely to be successful if they can manage eleven consecutive days of meditating.

- Just do it! It might feel a little weird at first. Especially for those of us who tend to be - oh I'll just say it: control freaks, ruler-followers, have to do everything just right, over-achievers! That's okay, that's why we're here. There are so many different types of meditation, and different ways to do it, but the whole idea of getting quiet and just sitting runs so counter to our American lifestyle, that it does take some getting used to. So, just tell yourself right now, that it's supposed to feel weird at first, and get comfortable with the silence. Pretty soon, you'll find that the silence is amazing!

- There's an app for that. If you're really struggling with getting comfortable with meditation, or you're brand new to it, it might be helpful to use a guided meditation. You can download files from the internet, or find apps for your phone. There are also some handy apps to help you time your meditation - for $1.99 you can even signal the start and end of your session with Tibetan singing bowls! Of course, you can also use the timer the comes with your phone, for free... 

- Start small. If ten minutes of sitting in silence seems like an eternity, it's okay to start with five (or even two) minutes. What matters is that you start. (If this is the case for you, the guided meditations will really help.)

Here is a great guided meditation from Deepak Chopra on mindfulness to whet your appetite and get you started:

Thanks for reading and Namaste!

Today is Global Oneness Day!

After reading September Warren's blog yesterday, I was inspired to visit the website for Global Oneness Day - and now I am counting the minutes until the 8:15 conference time!

I have a very busy day today, so I won't be able to see everything (it runs until 7pm tonight). Not that every topic would be of interest to me... but they have a great line up of speakers!

As my schedule permits, I will click the link provided when I registered, and stream some of today's most inspiring New Thought leaders right to my phone or laptop. Did I mention that its free??? (There is an option to purchase MP3 files of the conference, but we'll see how it goes.)

You can still participate!

Click here: http://www.globaloneness2013.org/ to register. 

Beyond today's event, there are other things you can do to get involved. If you're interested, I encourage you click here to visit their website to learn more. The shift is happening. :-)

Opportunities for Involvement Are Everywhere - When You Look

My family did not attend the recent Blessing of the Animals hosted by our Animal Ministry. It will come no surprise to hear that we had water polo games that day. When you have three children who play and/or coach water polo, there is usually a water polo game or practice going on.

When I read Lisa McClure’s blog post about the ceremony, I was truly sorry that I didn’t make arrangements to bring our three cats. It sounds like it was a wonderful event, and our feline family members are very special to us (despite an annoying compulsion to sit on homework). My children appreciate that their kitties are always ready to snuggle up and watch a movie after a grueling workout. The Blessing would have been a great event for our family to attend, if we could have made it work with our schedule.

It occurred to me as I read Lisa’s post, that I didn’t know a whole lot about the Animal Ministry. How many other wonderful programs, I wondered, did we have at the Center that I really hadn’t paid attention to? Even though I’d listened to the Sunday announcements, I just hadn’t processed the information, for whatever reason.

 I decided to pay a visit to our website: www.cslcv.org

The programs I’d already been participating in jumped right out at me. (Isn’t that always how it works?) I clicked on the “Events & News” tab and decided to look around…

We have a Women’s Group – and they are going to a sweat lodge! There is a group known as Shifting Sands that meets every Thursday morning - that sounds intriguing… There is also a Men’s Group (I don’t think I’ll be checking that out.) For those who sing (also not me), we offer Choir on Thursday evenings! One of my favorite programs is happening this morning at 11:30 AM: the Parent Forum. It is typically held on the first Thursday of each month. There are several other programs that I simply didn’t list – there is truly something for everyone.

This month we are doing the Commitment Experiment. I hope you are participating. It is going to be exciting to see how this manifests in each of our lives. When you commit to something, you can’t help but get results – whether it’s a diet, a savings plan, a exercise regime, or a new spiritual practice. Consider choosing one or more of our programs and making a commitment to it this month. You’ll be glad you did.

The Healing Power of Serving Others

I just read September Warren’s poignant post about 9/11. I, too, watched it unfold on television all those years ago, and somehow, even though I was on the other side of the country, and mercifully lost no close friends or family that fateful day; just seeing the images of the towers engulfed in flames brings the feelings of horror and helplessness flooding right back… I suspect that I am not alone... It was truly a sad day for our nation, and one that will take a long time to heal.

Perhaps that is why the Centers for Spiritual Living selected September 14 as the World Day of Service. As we look to heal from the tragedy of 9/11, we know that one of the very best things we can do is to serve others.

World Day of Service has been organized as a day to come together in service to our communities. This Saturday, dozens of Centers for Spiritual Living across the country will participate in various community-service activities, designed to remind ourselves that it’s all about connection. We really are all one: one people, one planet, one God.

So what are we doing? I thought you’d never ask! That’s the best part!

We are hosting a BEACH CLEAN UP 3:30-5PM at North Beach in San Clemente.

Followed by a no-host BONFIRE at 5:30pm!

(No-Host means that you bring whatever food you want to cook, but we will have plenty of wood and fixin’s for s’mores!)

If you’ve never done a beach clean-up, they are really fun. Not only are you helping the environment, but you get to be outside, enjoying the sun and beach. It is a win-win. One tip though: they provide those thin latex gloves. I recommend bringing your own rubber gloves (not leather or fabric). You’ll also want a hat and sunscreen, because even the late-afternoon sun can burn.

Finally, plan to bring a friend or two. Serving others is much more fun when it is shared. If there is someone you’ve wanted to invite to church, this is a great way to introduce them to us.

Dr. Kenn Gordon, spiritual leader for Centers for Spiritual Living, says, “We believe that prayer changes lives. We also believe that the only way God can accomplish anything is through us–God works in us, through us, and as us. We can pray that the hungry are fed, and we do, but we also need to take action to feed the hungry. We envision a world that is free of homelessness, violence, war, and hunger. World Day of Service is about taking action in our communities around the world so together we can create that world, a world that works for everyone.”

This Saturday, September 14, at 3:30pm we are coming together at North Beach to help clean up our little corner of the world, but in so doing, we recognize that we are part of a global effort. There is so much power in that – plus, we’re gonna have a really good time! I hope to see you there.

For more information, please contact Diane at the Center for Spiritual Living Capistrano Valley 949-240-6463 or media@cslcv.org

Teachable Moments for Parents Available at the Parent Forum

How is your summer going?

Tomorrow is July 12. It will be one month since the CUSD schools ended for summer, and I’m pretty sure that all I did was blink. One really has to wonder where the time goes... If I was one of those conspiracy theorist types, I would venture to guess that somehow they are siphoning minutes from my days when I’m not looking – you know, the way hackers can get into your bank account if you’re not careful. Of course, I am the only one who can fritter my time away. I know that... (Anyone for a game of Words With Friends?)

The thing is that as summer approached, I purposely avoided signing the kids up for a bunch of camps (any camps, actually), because I wanted to give them a chance to recharge a little – to have some down time to relax and enjoy their summer. Of course, July finds them still training for the Junior Olympics, playing high school summer league, and my youngest is in summer school. While I guess the minimal-obligation phase of summer won’t officially start until August, their schedules are considerably lighter than they are during the school year. Although, I must confess that I was stunned by how quickly the first month of summer flew by.  My visions of lazy days spent at the beach were slipping away like sand between my toes.

Epiphany struck as it occurred to me that this was far more about me than it was about them. I found myself in one of those parenting teachable moments – only I was the student! Skipping the camps was only part of the issue. There was no doubt that the girls needed the down time. Between school, water polo, church and other charity activities, they are very busy during the school year. However, it’s not just about giving them big chunks of unstructured time to use as they please. They (and I) must be mindful about the free time. They don’t need me to dictate what they do, but they need to be aware of the time, and be cognizant that they are at choice as to how they spend it. At fourteen and twelve years old, they are old enough to be making these sorts of decisions for themselves; and I need to be okay if they choose to spend an afternoon watching what I consider mindless cartoons. It’s not going to impact whether or not they get into college.

Giving them room to make those less than desirable choices is one of the hardest parts of parenting. It is also the birthplace of so many other teachable moments. Many of my children’s best-learned lessons were the ones they taught themselves. Those opportunities for showing them a new perspective also brought a deeper connection and greater mutual understanding.

My children are wonderful, delightful, people who know that I love them dearly, which I guess is why they put up with my occasional parenting missteps. They know that I, like most parents, strive to do my best. Fortunately, I have found a great friend and mentor along my parenting journey who has created a powerful tool that is available to parents. Her name is Rev. Pattie Mercado and the tool is the Parent Forum.

Rev. Pattie has created a space where parents can benefit, not only from her wisdom and experience, but also share tips and support each other. The forum typically meets at the Center on the first Thursday of each month at 11:30am-1pm. Due to the holiday last week, we are meeting today this month, so please plan to join us! Childcare is available and a delicious light lunch is served. 

It is truly one of the highlights of my month! I hope to see you there.

Reaping Big Benefits From Little Adjustments

Are you looking for the secret to better sleep, increased creativity, better relationships, and improved immunity?  Most people are…

Would you believe me if I told you that this amazingly, transformative product could be yours for free?

Oh, and did I mention that you probably won’t have to break a sweat to reap its benefits? Can you guess what it is?

Gratitude.

Yes, it all comes down to gratitude...

It turns out that your mother was right about the importance of saying “thank you,” but it goes much deeper than that. A quick Google search will reveal hundreds of pages of published research on the myriad health benefits of gratitude.

Actually, it makes perfect sense that people who express their appreciation would feel more connected with others. It also follows that showing gratitude would lower one’s levels of immune-suppressing stress hormones, causing the person to think clearer, sleep better, and catch fewer cold bugs; but it is nice to see the scientific community validate that thinking.

The best thing about gratitude is that it always seems to be followed by a little joy-chaser. That’s why it has so many positive health benefits. Think for just a moment about the last time you felt genuinely thankful for someone or something… Now, isn’t just a smidgen of happiness mixed in with those feelings of appreciation? Of course, the two go hand-in-hand.

Developing an attitude of gratitude is fairly straightforward, and you can start out small, if you need to. Begin by thanking the checker at the grocery store or the barista serving you coffee, for example. Just be sure the thank you is sincere.

You can also build the gratitude habit by taking a few minutes each day to appreciate yourself, your life, and those around you – perhaps record your thoughts in a journal.

As expressing thanks becomes a habit, it will become easier to show gratitude in less than ideal circumstances, such as when your kids are arguing, or not following directions. (That’s when you get to be grateful that you’re the parent, so you can bring some order.)

If you’re having trouble finding something to be grateful for in any given situation, take a few moments to get silent and pray about it. Sometimes, it’s simply a matter of allowing yourself to see it through new eyes.

Every situation, no matter how bleak it appears, offers its own opportunities. I know from experience that those possibilities might not be readily apparent, and it can be tempting to throw a great big pity party. (I’ve got to admit, I’ve hosted some pretty spectacular galas for myself…) Of course, if you are in crisis, you need to take stock of your situation, and acknowledge your feelings, but then you need to move on. Lingering over the issue doesn’t serve you. Now, open your eyes to the opportunity.

The key is to always remember that you are at choice: You choose how you will view each situation, and you choose how you will respond to it.

Aware and appreciative that it is unfolding exactly as it should, I am grateful for my life, and all of the people who are in it.

Allowing Life to Happen

At my house, they play water polo. My son and middle daughter also swim competitively, but the sport that matters is water polo. I’m pretty sure that neither of my daughters could tell you who won the last Super Bowl, much less who played. Actually, I don’t know that my son could tell you… but that’s fine. He is an awesome water polo coach. Just ask any player on his 12 and Under Boys team.

This weekend is huge for us – it’s the Junior Olympics Qualifier tournament. The winners of this tournament will go to National Junior Olympics later this summer. Needless to say, everyone at my house is a little keyed up this week. Probably no one more so than I. They have invested months of practice time in preparation for this tournament. (Trust me, I know, because I drove them to all of those practices.) That investment of time and effort has yielded tremendous benefits for them – they are both outstanding water polo players. I know that they can hold their own against any team they meet this weekend. 

Still, Orange County is the epicenter of water polo nationwide. This weekend, they will be facing some of the toughest competition the Junior Olympics has to offer. So there is a possibility that one or more of them won’t qualify for the national tournament. (Won’t that make for some awkward dinner conversations?)

This is one time that I wish I could chuck the concept of right action, and just cheer for them to win with every fiber of my being. Certainly, there is a lesson for them in losing, but couldn’t they learn it some other time?  After the hours of practice they’ve logged, the parties and outings they’ve missed, they would be so disappointed if they didn’t qualify for the National Junior Olympic tournament.

I would be so disappointed, too. I’ve had a front row seat on their journey. Sometimes I’ve been the passenger, sometimes I’ve been the driver, but always I’ve tried to support them. (Which is how I ended up as team mom. Talk about hours logged, Yay!)

Now, here we are, on the eve of JO Quals, as they are commonly known, and I am more on edge than the kids. Perhaps that’s because I have to sit back and watch it all play out. There is nothing I can do to influence the outcome – I can’t play for them. 

As parents, we all want the best for our children, and it can be difficult to watch them go out and risk disappointment. We have invested so much of ourselves in them and helping them achieve their goals. It can be hard to be relegated the role of observer.

The thing, of course, is to know that it is all right action. Life, unfolding exactly as it should.
As it always does.

Balance: Moving From Overwhelmed to Empowered

Balance: Moving From Overwhelmed to Empowered

This month’s theme at the Center is Balance. I’m looking forward to hear what insights Dr. Heather has to share on the topic.

I have to confess, that the word itself conjures feelings of inadequacy in me. I know it shouldn’t. In fact, its intent is just the opposite. But the fact is that I have chased the idea of balance for years, and it has proved even more elusive than finding an extra hour to squeeze in a pedicure. I suppose those feelings come with the territory. After all, as the busy mother of three active children, there isn’t a lot of time left over at the end of the day for introspection. It is easy to let myself become overwhelmed by the activities and demands of the life that I have chosen, but the thing is, when I do pause to stop and think about it, I come face-to-face with the fact that I am at choice. I also realize that there is nothing inadequate about me.

I chose to stay with my three wonderful children. I wouldn’t change that for anything. It has been the greatest experience of my life. It means fewer vacations and older cars, but it also means never having to miss a swim meet, water polo game or school function.  

I also chose to volunteer for numerous organizations, but they all have meaning for me and my family. It is a matter of setting priorities. Most of the activities I participate in directly benefit one or more of my children. This has become my litmus test:  when given the opportunity to help, I ask myself how my involvement will benefit my family. If I don’t see the benefit, I let the opportunity pass, knowing that there is someone better suited for it.  

Perhaps one of the best tools in my quest for balance is talking with other mothers. As we share our stories, I am reminded that each of us is a work in progress. One of the best places to share those stories is at the Center’s monthly Parent Forum. Facilitated by Rev Pattie Mercado, the Parent Forum meets from 11:30-1pm on the first Thursday of each month.  Not only do the monthly topics generate insightful discussions, but there is something very empowering about knowing there are others who have made similar choices, who grapple with similar issues, and who I can clearly see are excellent parents. I am reminded that I am a really good parent, too.

Remembering to Pray Instantly Eases A Frantic Life

I like to consider myself a positive person, but I have to admit that I arrived at my daughters’ water polo practice yesterday afternoon feeling more than a little frazzled, as the challenges of the day and a scheduling nightmare looming for this weekend had begun to take their toll.

As I was ruminating over my predicament, a friend from church happened to call, regarding a project I’d been working on. Her first words, after I told my tale of woe, were to ask whether I’d prayed about it. Well, you could have knocked me over with a feather! I’d been so fixated on putting out fires all day, that I hadn’t even stopped to contemplate the idea.

As soon as she said it, I instantly felt lighter. Of course! That was exactly what I needed to do! How fortunate that God sends us messengers, if we are willing to listen.

I finished my phone call, and prayed about the whole situation. Right there on the pool deck. I’d like to tell you that, through the power of affirmative prayer, solutions instantly presented themselves to the thorny problems that plagued me all day. Alas, that was not the case, but I can tell you that I INSTANTLY felt better when I released those issues through that little pool deck prayer. (Versus feeling exhausted after unsuccessfully forcing my solutions on things all day.)

There is so much power in the simple, symbolic act of releasing one’s intentions to the Universe, and allowing them to unfold.

Knowing that I create my existence according to my belief.

Knowing that it is all right action.

Knowing it is All Good, because it is ALL God.

I was filled with gratitude, as I sat down to watch my two daughters finish practice, and contemplated the teachable moment I’d provided for them.  

-- By Melissa Echelberger

Melissa parents three busy kids, volunteers more than 40 hours a week in her community and recently joined Center for Spiritual Living Capistrano Valley blogging family.