Finding Peace in Christmas: Taking a moment to stop.

Take a moment to stop and reflect on the beauty all around. 

During the Holiday rush, it is easy to lose track of time. We hear about how time fly's from Thanksgiving through the New Year. This is the perfect opportunity to take a moment to completely stop. 

If we are finding ourselves overwhelmed with obligations during the holidays, remember that it is acceptable to replace some of those obligations for time to yourself. Taking a time to reflect is as important as all the obligations we place upon ourselves. 

When we fill ourselves up with face-paced holiday activities, a sadness can occur at the end of the holiday, when we are no longer in the frenzy of the season. If we stop during the season, we become familiar with those feelings associated with slowing down. At the end of the season the slowness will be a good friend. 

As this is the "time of giving," take some time to give yourself the gift of Peace. It may be one of the best presents you get all year. 

Have a Happy Christmas. 

It Actually Was Perfect

Sometimes we get so caught up in crafting the perfect memories we don't see what is right in front of us.

Or "Christmas Television with Ella" or "How I Caught Myself Being A Holdiay Cynic" either way it's a reminder that sometimes things are just perfect as they are. This is a little memory I wrote at Christmas time when Ella was 6.

With Ella fed, bathed and in her pajamas we found what looked like a cute Christmas story. All three of us snuggled into the luvsac for some cuddle time.

I was looking forward to an old favorite, something along the lines of The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, or the Snoopy/Charlie Brown Special (I always loved the way Snoopy skated).

The special was entitled "Nestor the Long-Earred Christmas Donkey" ... WHAT? WHO IS NESTOR?

I immediately sent Darin a text to his phone asking him if this was some kind of joke ... have you ever heard of Nestor?

As the show continued it was blantantly similar to Rudolph. Much like Rudolph with his disturbing red nose Nestor's troublesome feature was his incredibly long donkey ears. I was irrate by the templated story. As the story progressed I felt resentful of the emotional manipulation not to mention they ripped off Rudolph!!!

On a commercial break Darin did a little Googling and discovered that Nestor was from the late 70's. Ok, I know that they take stories and rework them to see what what will work. I will let this one pass. Maybe I just can't get into it because I don't have any history with Nestor so I am actually seeing it as a grownup.

 I am watching this show thinking ... this is so transparent and stupid. This is absurd. Why do they always have to just emotionally wreck you. They get the kids so wound up and filled with emotions.

I felt Ella's little body start to weep and a little sniffle is heard. Darin turns to her and asked "Ella why are you crying?" (It wasn't a sad part at all.)

 Ella's little voice "It's ... just ... so ... beautiful."

I think sometimes we get so driven to recreate the same holiday experiences of joy and wonder with our children we forget that we have to look anew and find joy and wonder just where we are.

How to Avoid Holiday Overload

It’s the first week of December and my calendar is full. We have school functions, water polo tournaments, church functions, family visits and myriad other holiday-related activities that seem to punctuate most people’s calendars this time of year. Adding anything else at this point will require some serious juggling, and possibly forms - filled out in triplicate, I suspect...

 There is always a lot going on at our house – and I like it that way. I do not, however, like the stress that comes with being over-scheduled. As we entered this month, I was already feeling a little over-committed. I knew that I needed to do something.

Fortunately, last month Dr. Heather’s focus was meditation, and I was inspired to develop the habit of starting my day with a morning meditation. What a difference a few minutes of daily meditation makes! (I’d like to tell you that I have consistently meditated every morning, but I have missed a few… which is how I can tell you that I notice the difference when I don’t do it.)

If you haven’t started meditating, I encourage you to start with Deepak Chopra’s guided meditations. You can find more information here.

The holiday season is considered by most people to be a time of joyous celebration. It’s a time for gathering together with those you love.

So what is it about the Holiday Season that causes some people to stress-out and go overboard?

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation is probably one of my favorite holiday movies. Who cannot relate, at least a little, to Clark Griswald’s desire to create the perfect Christmas for his family? We all sympathize as he carries on despite Fate throwing curve after curve at him. He finally snaps, but only when it appears that he has let his family down. He can shrug off disaster after disaster, but the thought of personally disappointing his family is more than he can bear, and he loses it. How many of us live under that type of self-imposed pressure during the holidays?

I could feel myself nearing the edge, and I did not want to go there. So, I set my attention on the intention of keeping this holiday season as stress-free as possible, despite the many activities my children, husband and I are involved in.

During my meditation, I posited the question: what needs to happen to keep this holiday season as happy, bright, joyful and connected as possible for me and my family?  

The answer that I received was to schedule “downtime” into my calendar each week. It’s not an answer I would naturally gravitate to, but I am going to trust the wisdom of my inner guidance. I know that the idea of scheduling downtime probably sounds obvious to some of you, but I am one of those can’t-just-sit-and-watch-TV types. I don't do downtime well, but I am really good at multi-tasking! I have blocked the Friday evenings as family/downtime (not all of my Fridays were open, so I used Sunday evening as an alternate). We have more Fridays open than Sundays this month, so it worked better, but I suspect Sunday will be the regular day if I decide to continue this beyond the holidays.

What will I do with my downtime? I hope to spend it with my family (or those family members who are available – I’m not going to increase my stress level by turning this into an attendance required activity). Maybe we will drive around to look at Christmas lights, or watch a holiday movie, or just take a walk. Maybe I’ll convince my children to put away their electronics and play Scrabble or Monopoly. Maybe we will bake some cookies… as long as it is fun! I do not intend to use the time to start a project – no cleaning out closets or reorganizing the garage.

There is no doubt that the holiday season brings its own special stress. Whether it’s the cantankerous, eccentric relatives, or the turkey that wouldn’t cooperate, there will likely be moments that threaten to push you to the limit. When that happens, actually, preferably before that happens, take some time to ask yourself what you need from this holiday season. The answer might be far simpler than you think.