A Practice in Perfection Shows Who Really Is Perfect

A Sand Mandala measured out perfectly, meticulously created
by Buddhist Monks
photo courtesy Do512Family

What is perfection?

I have come to know that only God is perfection, however, when I saw a short blurb about the practice of Buddhist Monk's creating sand mandalas, I have to admit, I thought it was a creation of perfection!

Each Mandala is perfectly measured out.  A perfect mathematically-measured design.

Each section is meticulously created by shaking sand out of a metal wand so that the perfect amount of sand is dispersed.

The sand is colored with fruit and vegetable dye so it is created in the perfection of God.

The mandalas take three to four days to complete.

They are made as a practice in awareness and presence of the Monks.

Each Monk must be present to the design so as not to color in the incorrect color.

The Monks stay silent and are steeped in the perfect awareness of the creation.

And then, the impossible....

....only minutes after the mandala is finished, it is destroyed. 

Destroyed to learn and embody the practice of detachment.  

Not getting attached to anything that is not the Inner Presence of God.

This practice is a ritual that seems perfect, but really, it's a practice that there is only One that is perfect, and that is God.

No matter how hard we try, no matter how beautiful our physical creations are, no matter how organized our home is, no matter how good everything looks on the outside, the only perfection is found on the inside of each and every one of us.

On the flip side, no matter how disasterous things may be in our lives, no matter what chaos we have going on, none of it matters, because perfection is found from within.

Each of us is perfect.  

Each of us is a morsel of God and God is perfection.

When we realize that, nothing on the outside matters, just like each Monk that creates a sand mandala knows that the perfection of that beautiful creation is nothing like the perfection within.

Here's a short video about the creation of a sand mandala.  

I invite you to watch it.  It's a fascinating process and a practice that is sure to make you say, "wow..."

It Actually Was Perfect

Sometimes we get so caught up in crafting the perfect memories we don't see what is right in front of us.

Or "Christmas Television with Ella" or "How I Caught Myself Being A Holdiay Cynic" either way it's a reminder that sometimes things are just perfect as they are. This is a little memory I wrote at Christmas time when Ella was 6.

With Ella fed, bathed and in her pajamas we found what looked like a cute Christmas story. All three of us snuggled into the luvsac for some cuddle time.

I was looking forward to an old favorite, something along the lines of The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, or the Snoopy/Charlie Brown Special (I always loved the way Snoopy skated).

The special was entitled "Nestor the Long-Earred Christmas Donkey" ... WHAT? WHO IS NESTOR?

I immediately sent Darin a text to his phone asking him if this was some kind of joke ... have you ever heard of Nestor?

As the show continued it was blantantly similar to Rudolph. Much like Rudolph with his disturbing red nose Nestor's troublesome feature was his incredibly long donkey ears. I was irrate by the templated story. As the story progressed I felt resentful of the emotional manipulation not to mention they ripped off Rudolph!!!

On a commercial break Darin did a little Googling and discovered that Nestor was from the late 70's. Ok, I know that they take stories and rework them to see what what will work. I will let this one pass. Maybe I just can't get into it because I don't have any history with Nestor so I am actually seeing it as a grownup.

 I am watching this show thinking ... this is so transparent and stupid. This is absurd. Why do they always have to just emotionally wreck you. They get the kids so wound up and filled with emotions.

I felt Ella's little body start to weep and a little sniffle is heard. Darin turns to her and asked "Ella why are you crying?" (It wasn't a sad part at all.)

 Ella's little voice "It's ... just ... so ... beautiful."

I think sometimes we get so driven to recreate the same holiday experiences of joy and wonder with our children we forget that we have to look anew and find joy and wonder just where we are.

Perfectly Imperfect

In the Navajo culture potters, weavers and artisans purposely leave slight imperfections in their work.

There is a magical idea that the Indian thinks is more important. Every enclosed blanket must have an outlet -- that is an outlet for the creative idea, a part of the mind which the weaver has put into it. The Navajo word for it is shih nih bi-teen' meaning "Mind my road." It is usually a mere thread of a different color, or a slight, apparently accidental, which looks like an imperfection. ~ from navajopeople.org

Isn't that great? A society that encourages it's people to embrace a mistake, in fact it was required. Later in the explanation of artistic imperfection the Navajo site says the flaw was needed to keep the artist from going crazy, like the quest for perfection is almost too much to bear.

As a photographer, I've spent a lot of time learning the rules of composition and contemplating the best way to communicate my idea, but then, in the moment when I push the shutter button, there becomes a moment of chance. Sometimes I achieve perfect focus...sometimes I don't. Sometimes a bird flies into the frame or a person closes their eyes. I've learned that for me, those imperfections enhance my personal style. Yes, I could choose to photograph people in a studio with perfect lighting, but I don't. I would rather photograph a person on the beach with the flaws of wind-blown hair and splashing waves. There is a carefree, human aspect to my art and I like that.

What would our world, our community, be like if we encouraged people to embrace their perceived flaws as a sign of perfect creation? I think we all might feel a tremendous sense of liberation and joy that only embracing our uniqueness can bring.

Progress Not Perfection Start From Where You Are

The Spectrum of Love by Alan Watts

We know that from time to time there arise among human beings people who seem to exude love as naturally as the sun gives out heat. These people, usually of enormous creative power, are the envy of us all, and, by and large, man’s religions are attempts to cultivate that same power in ordinary people. Unfortunately, they often go about this task as one would attempt to make the tail wag the dog. I remember that when I was a small boy in school, I was enormously interested in being able to do my schoolwork properly. Everyone told me that I did not work hard enough, that I ought to work harder, but when I asked, “How do you work?”

Come visit us any Sunday and see how we work it.

And So It Is. 

How to Avoid Holiday Overload

It’s the first week of December and my calendar is full. We have school functions, water polo tournaments, church functions, family visits and myriad other holiday-related activities that seem to punctuate most people’s calendars this time of year. Adding anything else at this point will require some serious juggling, and possibly forms - filled out in triplicate, I suspect...

 There is always a lot going on at our house – and I like it that way. I do not, however, like the stress that comes with being over-scheduled. As we entered this month, I was already feeling a little over-committed. I knew that I needed to do something.

Fortunately, last month Dr. Heather’s focus was meditation, and I was inspired to develop the habit of starting my day with a morning meditation. What a difference a few minutes of daily meditation makes! (I’d like to tell you that I have consistently meditated every morning, but I have missed a few… which is how I can tell you that I notice the difference when I don’t do it.)

If you haven’t started meditating, I encourage you to start with Deepak Chopra’s guided meditations. You can find more information here.

The holiday season is considered by most people to be a time of joyous celebration. It’s a time for gathering together with those you love.

So what is it about the Holiday Season that causes some people to stress-out and go overboard?

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation is probably one of my favorite holiday movies. Who cannot relate, at least a little, to Clark Griswald’s desire to create the perfect Christmas for his family? We all sympathize as he carries on despite Fate throwing curve after curve at him. He finally snaps, but only when it appears that he has let his family down. He can shrug off disaster after disaster, but the thought of personally disappointing his family is more than he can bear, and he loses it. How many of us live under that type of self-imposed pressure during the holidays?

I could feel myself nearing the edge, and I did not want to go there. So, I set my attention on the intention of keeping this holiday season as stress-free as possible, despite the many activities my children, husband and I are involved in.

During my meditation, I posited the question: what needs to happen to keep this holiday season as happy, bright, joyful and connected as possible for me and my family?  

The answer that I received was to schedule “downtime” into my calendar each week. It’s not an answer I would naturally gravitate to, but I am going to trust the wisdom of my inner guidance. I know that the idea of scheduling downtime probably sounds obvious to some of you, but I am one of those can’t-just-sit-and-watch-TV types. I don't do downtime well, but I am really good at multi-tasking! I have blocked the Friday evenings as family/downtime (not all of my Fridays were open, so I used Sunday evening as an alternate). We have more Fridays open than Sundays this month, so it worked better, but I suspect Sunday will be the regular day if I decide to continue this beyond the holidays.

What will I do with my downtime? I hope to spend it with my family (or those family members who are available – I’m not going to increase my stress level by turning this into an attendance required activity). Maybe we will drive around to look at Christmas lights, or watch a holiday movie, or just take a walk. Maybe I’ll convince my children to put away their electronics and play Scrabble or Monopoly. Maybe we will bake some cookies… as long as it is fun! I do not intend to use the time to start a project – no cleaning out closets or reorganizing the garage.

There is no doubt that the holiday season brings its own special stress. Whether it’s the cantankerous, eccentric relatives, or the turkey that wouldn’t cooperate, there will likely be moments that threaten to push you to the limit. When that happens, actually, preferably before that happens, take some time to ask yourself what you need from this holiday season. The answer might be far simpler than you think. 

What if EVERYTHING already was Perfect?

If you look closely, you'll know Perfection.

Carefully crafted bows, mud wars, an argument, and a sunset are all Perfect. 

When we hear the word perfect, do we think of things unfolding in a manner exactly according to our plan? Do we have an expectation of others to do exactly what we want them to do, in exactly the time they should do them, and in the order we think they should do them in? Do we set unreasonably high standards for ourselves and for those around us? When those standards are not met, do we become unglued, have a melt-down or become unruly?

In a high-end retail environment, we expect perfection. An item chosen for gifting, placed inside a blue box, surrounded by a carefully crafted bow "should" be perfect. What if something goes "wrong" in this scenario? Well, guess what? Though it may not have turned out perfect, it still was Perfect.  Here is where the understanding of perfect vs. Perfection comes in. 

Most every evening in Southern California we are witness to a spectacular display of awe, by way of the sunset. The golden, pink, sometimes purple hues painted across a strategically placed, clouded, sky is a sight of Perfection. Knowing that this moment will never be the same again, is a time to stop and reflect on its Perfection without judgment. Yes, it is easy to see Perfection in this sunset, what about the rest of life? 

"When Jesus said, "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect," he was telling us there is a Perfection at the center of all things, which, recognized, will spring into being. We must learn to identify ourselves with this Perfection to so accept it that it is real to us and to so live that it may be expressed through us. Every organ, action and function of our physical body is rooted in Spiritual Perfection, from which it draws life." -Ernest Holmes-

Seeing a child play in mud can cause cringe-worthy responses from moms. For in that moment, the mom may be predicting the future repercussions of this muddy moment. For the mom, this may be a far from perfect way to engage in social play. It, however, is Perfection in action when recognizing the benefits this type of play is providing to a child. Mud can actually lift one's mood because it increases the levels of serotonin in our brains. When moms recognize the Perfection, they may even want to join. 

http://www.letthechildrenplay.net/2011/08/10-reasons-why-we-should-let-children.html

Can there be a Perfect argument? When a child is diagnosed with autism, they sometimes are non-verbal, have limited speech or speech-delayed. Hoping, wishing, and praying for a breakthrough in verbal skills are heard around the world from parents of non-verbal children. How fortunate it is to hear a child argue with their sibling over anything. Though the high volume can be less that "perfect," the Spiritual Perfection of this communication can bring joy to a parent's ears. 

One does not have to look very far for Perfection, just look everywhere.  Even if it is not "perfect," according to our human standards, we must remember to look beyond our expectations to see the Spiritual Perfection of life. Just because something didn't come out "perfect" doesn't mean it isn't Perfection. It just means our limited beliefs are keeping us from seeing what true Perfection really is. Next time a less than perfect circumstance occurs, look deeper for the Perfection. 

Oh Great Spirit Whose Voice I Hear In The Wind

Oh, Great Spirit whose voice I hear in the wind...
And whose breath gives life to the world...

Hear Me...

I come to you as one of your many children...
I am small and weak.
I need your strength and your wisdom.

May I walk in beauty.
Make my eyes ever behold
The red and purple sunset.
Make my hands respect
The things that you have made,
And my ears sharp to hear your voice...

Make me wise
So that I may know the things
That you have taught your children...
The lessons you have hidden
In every leaf and rock.

Make me strong
So that not to be superior
To my brothers...
But to be able to fight
My greatest enemy...
Myself.

Make me ever ready to come to you...
With straight eyes,
So that when life fades as the fading sunset...
My spirit may come to you

Without shame...

Lakota Chief Yellow Lark - 1887

And So It Is!

Thinking About Perfection and Practice

"Well, that sounds like courage" she said.

I remember when I first heard "it's yoga practice not yoga perfect."

It was such a revelation. It was releasing and demanding all at the same time.

It meant I could release the need to for perfection but I couldn't release being present. It meant that I might not be able to get into the pose and perfectly mimic the teacher but I could use each second to stay with my breath and be present with all of my attention.

I think that for many the drive for perfection is just a manifestation of the fear of criticism. Ironically perfection is no cure for criticism or the fear of criticism.

There is a misplaced drived for perfection as opposed to excellence. I do think that the quest for perfection has probably stopped more people in their tracks than any opposition they might find externally. When the goal is perfection there is a lot of work up and worry and very little launch.

I used to teach braille transcription. It's very detailed work and there are a lot of mistakes in the beginning. Many people loose their gumption around lesson 6 or 7 and it's because they feel they can't do the lessons perfectly.  I taught in a wide variety of settings from colleges, church basements and even prison and this was true with those with PhDs and those just earning their GEDs. Their likelihood of finishing the 20 lessons and completing their Library of Congress manuscript was solely their ability to not allow mistakes to discourage them.

I would post a sign:

It's far more important to be resilient than to be perfect.

One day Ella saw me packing my equipment up to teach and she asked what "resilient" meant. I said that it means "you continue to try with the same amount of enthusiasm."

The little 7 year old Ella turned to me and confidently said, "Well, that sounds like courage."

Yes, yes it does.