It is Your Fault But You are Not to Blame

Resting my Sunburned Feet

For the month of May we will be exploring the theme "Spiritual Guidance and Personal Responsibility." This theme contains two of the most important principles of the Science of Mind. First, that we believe every person can be a revealer of truth. To me that means that we can, and do, directly connect with Source and It can, and does, guide and direct us. Secondly, that our experiences do not come to us , but rather come through us.

Each one of us has an inner guidance system. This system is always guiding us. It always knows what is  our highest and best good. Sometimes it speaks quietly so that you have to be still to hear it and at other times it screams so loudly that we can not ignore it. 

Over time I have come to be thankful for and expectant of Its guidance. There were many years that I didn't believe in It and could not hear It.  On a recent trip to Costa Rica, I had a private two-hour ride to the resort from the airport. I was guided to ask my driver for Spanish lessons. He was delighted to teach me. It made my trip fly by and gave Roberto, my driver, an opportunity to be in service. Guidance can be a simple idea like that or a feeling of "not going in the right direction." By the way, I also ignored my personal guidance to get out of the sun in Coasta Rica. Hence, sore, swollen, sunburned feet!

The second part is personal responsibility. In the past, I felt that personal responsibility was heavy and unpleasant. The words felt heavy and burdensome. But after studying the Science of Mind, I had a new idea about it. I realized that if everything came through my consciousness and absolutely no other way, then in order to change my life, I simply needed to change my deep beliefs. What a sense of joy and freedom it has given me! I am not a victim any longer. I accept everything in my life exactly as it is and as it is not. "I once was blind, but now I see."

Shakespeare penned these words in the play Julius Caesar, spoken by Cassius, one of the men opposed to Julius Caesar becoming a monarch:

 "The fault, dear Brutus, is not in the stars, but in ourselves."

If one thinks he is doomed to a certain life, he will be. If he thinks that he is going to prosper happily, he will. Nothing outside ourselves ever creates our experience. Rather it is the choices we make from our deep beliefs that will make life be whatever it is. We learn to notice our results and circumstances with compassion and love. The idea of personal responsibility always inspires me. I know that if my consciousness created a result that is less than satisfying, then shifting my consciousness by changing my mind and heart, can change it into something I do want. Yes, it is my fault but I am not to blame.

Who's Your Boss?

Back in the early 2000s, I began to experience a symptom I now know as air hunger. I should say, re-experienced, because I’d had the same problem when I was in my early 20s. “It’s just nerves,” the doctor said. “Relax and it will go away.” And indeed within a year it was a distant memory. When it happened again, my doctor said, “nerves” and handed me a prescription for Xanax. But this time it wasn't going away, in fact it was getting worse.

When I was young, I believed doctors knew best…better than I did. After all, they were highly educated, trained professionals, right? So when my body didn't do what it's supposed to do, the doctor could fix it. And if the doctor couldn't fix it, then it was either unfixable, or all in my head.

But I've learned a lot in the intervening years. I learned that if I was in a relationship where my partner treated me badly, that I could choose to leave – or stay. I learned that if my employer was taking advantage of me, I could choose to leave. In fact, I learned that it was I who chose that disparaging partner, that disappointing job and if I’d listened to my own inner wisdom, I might have taken a different path.

My inner wisdom was telling me this breathing problem was not “all in my head”. It wasn't just stress. And when my tests came back normal, I trusted my inner wisdom. I kept searching. Specifically, I refined my perception of the issue and discovered “air hunger”. Once I could clearly name it, I could find the condition – Babesia, a malaria-like infection that often comes with Lyme disease, which I also have.

I’d like to say I did this all on my own. And while taking total responsibility for my health was all me, I had invaluable help. I tapped into the vast well of knowledge and experience of other Lyme patients. There’s not one symptom; one reaction to medication, one painful procedure I experienced, that someone else in my Lyme community hadn't been through. There was always someone ready and willing to share, guide and support me.

Inner wisdom, what some call intuition, is simply the Universe speaking. Sometimes It speaks so softly you have to lean in. Sometimes the inner chatterbox drowns It out, but you can learn Its voice. Inner wisdom never fails.

--Pamela Rocke