If you're Happy and you know it- let it show!

My family shares my happiness!

I have heard it said many times “If Mom is happy, everyone is happy.”

Recently I considered a new idea: When the kids are happy, mom is happy and when mom is happy – well you know how the saying goes….

Books, experts, the not so expert, and society advise us that our job as a parent is to raise happy, well-adjusted children so that they will be productive, healthy participants in our world. That is in the "good parent" job description. We take it seriously.  As a parent of young children I spent countless hours offering solutions; negotiating with teachers, friends and friends' parents; cleaning, packing and unpacking all to ensure that my children were happy. It wasn't so much that I wasted my time as it was that I misdirected my energy.

It seems to be a rite of passage that every parent goes through: Realizing that they are not the source of their children’s happiness.  Another rite of passage in the stages of parenting is realizing that our happiness and value is not dependent on our children’s success, happiness, friends or lack of friends. We have a role in our children’s happiness. They, in turn, have a role in ours. It's understanding what happy is that is important.

I am honored to share the parenting journey with many families and, on the first Thursday of the month, we come together at the Parent Forum. This group, comprised mostly of moms and the occasional dad, is a plethora of inspiration, knowledge and support for each other.  Recently the subject of happiness came up at the Parent Forum.  Several insights were shared that day. One that really struck home for a lot of us is that happy looks different to each of us.

Because "happy" is an inside job, it is shaped by us, as an awareness on the inside. My happy looks very different from my son's. If I was determining his level of happiness on my happy scale, he would come up short and unhappy which according to some would mean I was failing as a parent. But he has his own meter and happiness looks different on him than it does on me. Before I can know his happy, I have to be open to it being different than mine. For him to know his happy, he has to know himself. This is one of the  greatest lessons we can give our children - to know themselves - including what makes them happy.

How do we raise happy children? We help them to know what happy means to them by modeling what it means to us.  And then we let them show it in their unique and perfect way. Do you know what your happy looks like? Do you show it?

Teaching our children is a blessing and humbling experience.

Teaching our children is a blessing and humbling experience. 

Planning and presenting the lessons for the youth of our center is a powerful and humbling experience. Each week, children from infancy to 12, come for an hour of their precious weekend to learn about God, affirmations, prayer, universal laws and all the reasons why they can and do use them. They come for connection, inspiration and because they know they are important to our extended spiritual family. Well, I like to think that is why they are coming. And some are! In reality, I know some are dragged by their parent-- "you will learn to be spiritual", some are coming for the promise of the donut after the service, and some are coming to see their friends and maybe get a chance to speak into the microphone on the platform. Whatever their reason, I and our teaching team, are ready to receive them with discussions, activities, spiritual practices, crafts and most importantly our love and to listen. We listen to the stories; the desires of the heart of a four year old who wants to play with the trains and the ten year old who wants to fit in at school. We take that lesson that we have spent hours on and adapt, tweak and shift it up to meet the needs and desires of the kids who have shown up. I often wonder if the kids show up because of the lesson that has been created in Mind, or does the lesson show up for the kids. Of course, it is both. Sometimes, as I am planning a lesson, a particular child will be on my mind and I am never surprised to see them, but I am always left with the humbling thought that they are responding to the same inspiration that I am. That we have connected at deeper place that brought us to share this lesson.

This week we have been planning our Palm Sunday lesson. For more than ten years this has been my favorite lesson. I know it has been at least ten years because my children who are now young adults participated as children in this lesson with me. The lesson, has evolved and grown over the years.  I can't remember how it started that we re-enact the triumphant entry of Jesus into Jerusalem.  Like so many inspirations it is timeless and continues to give year after year. In this lesson, together we create the road lined with flowers, covered with palms and beautiful fabric that symbolizes the cloaks of the people.  We ask, What must that have been like to have the road lined with people who adore you? Singing your praises and laying down palms and cloaks for you to walk upon. The only similarity in our lives is when the winning team of the World Series returns home and gets a parade of adoring fans. Is that as close as we can get I wonder.  I wonder if those athletes who are being greeted by adoring fans realize the magnitude of their words and their actions. Surely this is a great moment in life.  Knowing who we are matters, what we think, say and do makes a difference. This is our Palm Sunday lesson As we re-enact the event from two thousand years ago we recognize that the great teacher Jesus owned his power. He owned it with all of his being. He didn't say well sometimes I'm pretty good like if I'm with good friends and if the stars and moons are aligned I can do great things. He owned it all the time. So we learn to own our power, to share our gifts, our talents with the awareness that we glorify God by shining our light.  And, here is the great part of our lesson: Jesus knew that the same divine potential that he owned so completely in himself was and is in every person. In this lesson we explore what it is to have the courage of Jesus to let our light shine, be great in all that we do and the awesome humility of knowing that that great light is God and is everyone. Not just some, not just a few special ones, but everyone. We learn to let our light shine with courage and to recognize that light in ourselves and everyone around us as the light of God.

Like I said, creating and presenting the youth lessons at our center is an awesome experience. I know that what I am doing is making a difference. I know that the children I am sharing these lessons with are making a profound difference in my life. Finally, I am blessed in knowing that our spiritual community is a place to learn about Life, about Love, and about the awesome Power that each of us has.