Do you Want to Love Yourself Really?

Whitney Houston sang: "Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all."

 Currently Justin Bieber is on the radio with a very snarky song about loving yourself, as in it is a very self-centered, selfish thing to do. To give you a flavor of the song, one line is,

"My mama don't like you and she likes everyone!" 

 Well which one is it? Is it selfish to love yourself or is it necessary to love yourself? Is it the greatest love or is it the puniest? Is it self-absorbed and narcissistic? Or is it expansive and enlightened?

Perhaps the confusion comes from what is self-love? The original meaning was one of excessive attention to self, but now most of the dictionaries define self-love as looking after one's well-being. It is seen as positive and desirable. 

Many writers believe that self-love is not a feeling but rather actions that one takes to establish self-worth and well-being. 

I believe that self-love is closely related to self-esteem and self-respect. I agree that if you don't love yourself, it will be very hard if not impossible to love someone else. When my self-love is solid, I am a good friend. I can take criticism and negativity with greater ease than if I am feeling emotionally fragile.

The aspect of me that gets in the way is my inner critic. You likely have one of your own. The inner critic always makes me feel small and incapable. The most difficulty I have in maintaining my self-love, and staving off the inner critic, is when someone tells me I am not doing a good enough job and I secretly agree with them!

A recent incident catapulted me into rigorous self-inquiry. What am I making this mean? What can I learn about myself and my habits that would help me live  a more self-confident life?

I hear myself saying things I SHOULD have done! With every SHOULD I give away my self-respect. One of my early teachers taught me to change the "should" to COULD. That certainly brings more clarity while maintaining  a shred of dignity. So instead of, "I should have called my Mom." I could change it to  "I could have called my Mom but something else took precedence."

I believe it is valuable to do things you are good at. It is valuable take some quiet time for observation and reflection. Self-love does not mean over-spending, over-eating or over-indulging. Those are all kinds of self-contempt.

Now the truth about it is that you and I are made in the image of Spirit, whole complete and perfect in every way. One of my favorite and most-powerful affirmations is four simple statements of Truth: 

"There is only One Life.  That Life is God's Life. That Life is perfect. That Life is my life now."

 I think the world would be a much lovelier place in which to live, if we all practiced one act of self-love every day. I stumbled across the following poem which I think is exactly what I am attempting to say. It is by Suzy Kassem, titled "Apply Within."


You once told me
You wanted to find 
Yourself in the world -
And I told you to
First apply within,
To discover the world
within you.

You once told me
You wanted to save
The world from all its wars -
And I told you to
First save yourself
From the world,
And all the wars
You put yourself
Through.

The Value of Classes

I love teaching the Science of Mind!

I love it because I am privileged to witness people waking up to their spiritual magnificence!

I love it because I have an opportunity to examine my own consciousness to see if I am right-thinking!

I love it because it  because I get to know the students and they get to know me and each other.

Have you ever wondered why people take the same class a number of times? If you have taken a class more than once, you will know why. We are not the same people we were when we first started taking classes. We have changed, learned and grown more spiritually mature so we are now learning at a higher level of consciousness, with deeper, clearer understanding.

The Greek philosopher Heroclitus said,

 "You can't stand in the same river twice." 

His meaning was that the river, and the universe are forever changing so the river has changed and we have changed. Our experience might be similar but it will not be identical. 

Dr. Jay Scott Neale, one of my colleagues who studied with Ernest Holmes Brother Fenwicke, would tell how Fenwicke would study the text book every morning. When Dr, Jay asked him why he did it, Fenwicke replied, "I am certain my brother comes in at night when I am not looking and writes new things."

Students who take a class for a second or third time feel the same way. The ideas that first bedazzled them now feel common, but something else always pops up. Something to learn, embrace and be.

When you are in a class, you are reading, meditating and praying everyday. And when you are consistent with your practices, then your life changes because you have changed your thinking not just at a surface level but deeply changed it.

Wherever you are, whatever has been your path up until now, I highly encourage you to take a Science of Mind Class. You will be so happy you made that decision!

In class last Tuesday night, Kathy Storey, RScP, sent a birthday banana, complete with candle! She sent it because she knows I am trying to eat less flour, so instead of a cake, she sent a banana! It made the entire class smile! 

Birthday Banana