Training the Puppy

The only puppy I have ever had was a beautiful Saint Bernard puppy whose name was Elsie. It was the worst possible time for me to learn how to train a puppy, especially one who would grow so big. I was a newly-wed and also in my first career as a middle school teacher, having finished college in August, I landed a great job and got married that autumn. I had so much to learn and an equal amount to do. I had very little time to be at home. 

Meanwhile Elsie was adorable. She had a sweet temperament but we were ill-equipped to have the responsibility of a dog. Needless to say, there was very little training going on for Elsie. She was training us and not the other way around. 

Within a couple of months, my husband and I could both see that neither of us were able to give her the kind of home that she needed. We were living in a two-bedroom duplex, fairly cramped quarters for what would become a very large dog. She would sit beside the coffee table and with one friendly wag of her tail everything would be swept onto the floor. She rarely had a walk never mind a run! We eventually found a farmer  who said he would take her and look after her, that he had lots of room for her to run and play with his other dogs. All the guilt I had been feeling for not giving her the kind of home she needed evaporated when I thought of her running with the other dogs. That was the fantasy and it helped me cope with my feelings of inadequacy.

We use the metaphor of "training the puppy" to help us learn how to bring awareness to our minds in meditation. We know that a puppy that is loved and trained will grow up to be a wonderful companion. We also know that a dog who has been beaten, mistreated or neglected ends up being an anti-social, mean, unpredictable dog.

It is the same for your mind. If in meditation, you set impossible standards for yourself, scolding yourself for not attaining enlightenment in the first week of meditation you are simply delaying the benefits of meditation. If you can bring gentleness, kindness and love to your thoughts, your body and your feelings, you will see benefits in your life. And nothing is going to happen if you do not make a decision to "train the puppy."

The whole point of meditation is to awaken to the truth of life. It is to see that all life is interconnected. We begin to see that the only love we can give to others, is the love that we first give to ourselves. 

Many people find it difficult to accept and love themselves just the way they are. Our inner voices are often harsh and critical; we have an inner terrorist. What we really are longing for is acceptance and love.

Start today. Give yourself a modest goal, perhaps five minutes. Notice your thoughts, without judging them. Be kind to your thoughts. Be kind to yourself. It is a very good way to start.

Whenever the Time is NOW

This year's retreat at the Center for Spiritual Living Capistrano Valley was hosted by Dr James and Rev. Leslie Golden.  The retreat was titled "Whenever the time is Now" ... and, well, when you think about it, the time is always NOW.  Now is the only time it can ever actually really be.  People have written books about it.  The sages say to "be here now" but sometimes that seemingly simple idea can be difficult to experience.  Our mind has an uncanny way of keeping us in the past and the future, reflecting back, multi-tasking and planning ahead.

Spiritual practices are tools we learn and use to make it easier to experience the beauty of presence, being in the Now.  This retreat was an amazing opportunity to explore new practices, as well as remember and reinforce those we already knew, to deepen our personal spiritual understanding and awareness.

Spiritual practices can take some effort, a bit of discipline, and this weekend was about honing our skills in that area.  Dr. James and Rev Leslie used the analogy of these various spiritual practices as different types of forks, all of them used for the purpose of feeding our soul food that comes from the One Source, God.  It doesn't matter which fork you use, what matters is that you remember to feed your soul!

We learned about and were asked to practice more mindfulness during the retreat and over the entire weekend.  That means to slow down... move slower in all your actions.  Drive slower (at the speed limit perhaps), eat slower and chew your food more thoroughly.  Bring more conscious awareness into everything you do.   

All the participants took a vow of silence.  I had never attempted something like this before, leading up to the retreat I was excited and a little nervous about this part.  With an open mind and an open heart, I decided I was ready for some quiet time... to hear the voice of Spirit within me, the One who created me.  

I have to say, the mindfulness, coupled with the vow of silence, made my mind seem MUCH LOUDER at first!  I had to, as gently and non-judging as possible, quiet the mind chatter and listen for that still small voice within me.  The one that reminds me not only am I loved unconditionally, but that our essence is purely and simply Divine Love.

We also learned some Siddha Yoga practices, including singing a chant (yes! out loud!  with our voices!).  We listened to and sang together, in a call and response format, the phrase: "Om Namah Shivaya" which means "I bow to the God Self that dwells within me - as me."  Everyone received a strand of mala beads, which are sometimes referred to as Buddhist prayer beads.  They are essentially used for keeping count during mantra meditations and have an added benefit of helping to keep the mind focused.  My mala beads are a new favorite "fork" of mine, I use them every day.  :-)

This retreat was an amazing experience.  It has deepened my spiritual awareness and fortified my spiritual practices in such a complete way.  My heart is wide open, filled and over flowing with the Divine Love that God is.  

I encourage you, whatever your "fork" is, if your soul is hungry then feed it!  If you haven't found a fork you like, come visit us... No matter where you are on your spiritual journey, know that you are always welcome here.

Namaste. 

To learn more about the retreat visit...

James and Leslie Golden: www.DreamANewDream.net

Siddha Yoga: www.siddhayoga.org

Tibetan Singing bowls: Dharma goes to the west.

Mindfulness through the sound of bells. 

Singing bells have come to the west to be appreciated as a tool of Mindfulness.  Allowing the sound of the bell to fully complete into the silence can center one's thoughts.  This is tool used for many centuries by Tibetan Monks.  Thich Nhat Hanh travels around the world to introduce the bell teaching to the world.  At Deerpark Monastery in Escondido, California, they practice in the teachings of Thich Nhat Hanh. The following video introduces these teachings of the bells. 

In an 1986 interview with Lama Lobsang Leshe, a Tibet Monk born in Lhasa, Rain Gray, a Tibetan Musicologist, received this answer regarding the West's role in singing bowls. 

Rain Gray: "At this time I'm wondering what is the significance that this singing bowl and this sound is going to the West.  Padmasambhava said that 'When the iron bird flies, the Dharma will be spread to the West.'  So, I've been feeling for many years now that somehow this sound is important for the world because the sound is the sound of the Dharma.  And it carries the Dharma, whether people realize it or not, because in my experience with many types of people, whether Buddhists or non-Buddhists, young people and very old people, everybody is attracted to this sound.  And specifically, they can't exactly say why, but they like to hear this sound.  So this is very appreciated in the Western world. Now that the Dharma is becoming so strong in the Western world my intuitive feeling is that, somehow, this sound has some importance for the world today.

Lobsang Leshe: "Yes, if so Dharma goes to the West, Guru Padmasambhava said that 'Dharma goes to West' means that definitely they have seeds.  Of course, you know, all sentient beings have enlightened beings seeds, nature of Dharma, of Buddha, you know, really.  So, before all teaching is Asia, most teachings in Asia.  So, actually, yes, yes.  Also, Buddha is not in the world now, this world. So many other worlds his presentation now, he's giving teaching.  So, Buddha is not here, but his Dharma is here.  So, singing bowl can give teaching to someone who has the seeds of Dharma.  Each sentient being has many different natures, many different 'ears'.  That's why, yes of course, singing bowl can give you Dharma.  Really have that connection of that Buddha or Shambhala, same you know, really connection of singing bowl or those sounds connection to the Shambhala.  Means singing bowl sound gives you teaching then you can go to Shambhala. That is really the connection.

http://www.bodhisattva.com/singing_bowl_history.htm

Connect to your heart through the sound of the bell. 

Tips for Making Meditation a Daily Habit

Meditation can often help one see the light through the trees!

So this month our focus is meditation... 

With all of the attention being given to the benefits of this ancient practice, I am reminded how much I enjoy it, and how good I feel when I make the time to do it - which isn't as often as I'd like... I can rattle off a list of excuses about my children's busy schedules and my hours of volunteer work, but that's what they would be: excuses. Interestingly, it's the same list I pull out every time my husband asks me about the gym membership I don't seem to use. 

Thinking of those excuses gave me a bit of an epiphany about meditation and exercise. Beyond being good for my mind, body and spirit, they also represent the idea of ME taking time for ME! I could say that I avoided the gym because of parking hassles, lines for machines, smelly, sweaty people everywhere, blah, blah, blah... but meditation doesn't have any of that. It is easy - I barely have to get out of bed to do it! I had to ask myself what message was I sending if I couldn't even commit to that? Couldn't give myself ten minutes per day? 

So I resolved, for the month of November, to make meditation a daily habit. I listened to Deepak Chopra's video tips, and have been carving out ten minutes each day. I want to tell you that it has been easy, but I will tell you that it has been worth it. I feel so much more centered.

If you haven't made meditation a daily habit, I encourage you to do so. Here are a few tips that might help you:

- Do it first thing in the morning. Set your alarm a few minutes early and start your day with a few minutes of mindful meditation. You will be glad you did! (I tend to be a night person, so I was really surprised by how effective this strategy was for me - it works!)

- Commit to eleven days. Research from Lift, the habit-forming app folks, says that 90% people trying to build the daily meditation habit are likely to be successful if they can manage eleven consecutive days of meditating.

- Just do it! It might feel a little weird at first. Especially for those of us who tend to be - oh I'll just say it: control freaks, ruler-followers, have to do everything just right, over-achievers! That's okay, that's why we're here. There are so many different types of meditation, and different ways to do it, but the whole idea of getting quiet and just sitting runs so counter to our American lifestyle, that it does take some getting used to. So, just tell yourself right now, that it's supposed to feel weird at first, and get comfortable with the silence. Pretty soon, you'll find that the silence is amazing!

- There's an app for that. If you're really struggling with getting comfortable with meditation, or you're brand new to it, it might be helpful to use a guided meditation. You can download files from the internet, or find apps for your phone. There are also some handy apps to help you time your meditation - for $1.99 you can even signal the start and end of your session with Tibetan singing bowls! Of course, you can also use the timer the comes with your phone, for free... 

- Start small. If ten minutes of sitting in silence seems like an eternity, it's okay to start with five (or even two) minutes. What matters is that you start. (If this is the case for you, the guided meditations will really help.)

Here is a great guided meditation from Deepak Chopra on mindfulness to whet your appetite and get you started:

Thanks for reading and Namaste!

A "Negative Nelly" Contaminates My Mind...Or Does She?

I was having a conversation the other day with a woman I didn't know.

I had just met her, but we struck up a conversation and before I knew it, I was bombarded with a barrage of "poor me's," "ain't it tough's," and "life is hard's."

I can remember, in the past, having those kinds of conversations and unknowingly, taking that energy with me and not understanding why I felt funky for the rest of the day.

On this day, however, I noticed, with great awareness, how far I'd come...

I have a time in my life that I can look back on and recognize a similar mindset like this lady.  My life was a mess, to be honest.  I focused in on what wasn't good in my life, which was my job, my car, my house, my bank account.  Nothing surrounding me was really anything I liked.

What I have come to learn is summed up so greatly by Ernest Holmes:

"Negative forces operating in our lives will die a natural death if we practice the habit of being disinterested in them."

As I fast-forward several years in my life, I no longer give attention to the things that frustrate or challenge me.  Emotions may surface around them, but I have a keen awareness of these emotions, and move past them quickly.

Interestingly enough, I no longer have the things in my circumstances that I don't like.  On the contrary, I have more things that overwhelm me with joy and push me to tears almost on a daily basis...

Why?

Because I choose to put my attention on the things that bring me joy and little attention on the things that frustrate me.

I realized, after watching a recent interview of, Buddhist Monk, That Nich Hahn, that I practiced the greatest gift of all to the woman I will call "Negative Nelly..."

...mindful listening.

I did not offer her advice of "focus on the positive!"  She wasn't in a space to receive that.

I simply listened to her.  I gave her my time.  I gave her an ear and I allowed her to vent her frustrations.

I left, free and clear without an ounce of negative energy from the conversation.  

As That Nich Hahn explained, when we practice mindful listening, for that time, be give someone the ability to release their pain.  Even for a second, we have made a difference in her life.

I knew I had done that for my new friend, however, with an awareness expanding in leaps in bounds because of my classes at CSLCV, I was able to walk away from it clear of any negative feelings, get into my car, and once again, be moved to tears at the overwhelming joy of finally driving a car I love! 

"Spiritual Technology" to Practicing Presence Everyday

I was watching Thich Nhat Hanh on Oprah's "Super Soul Sunday.  He is a Buddhist Monk who has spent his life dedicated to bringing peace to the world through compassion, mindfulness and love.

It was certainly a compelling interview, but he shared one thing that truly caught my attention.

With books like, Eckhart Tolle's, "The Power of Now, " or the initial teaching of any Spiritual philosophy, that there is nothing more important than the present moment.

Even a moment that may be challenging; the present moment is the only place for our mind to be.

How are we, then, to create peace in the present moment when the grocery lists, kids' schedules, the hair appointment we made to cover our roots constantly run through our minds?

It almost seems impossible, yet, with spiritual "technology," we are able to do just that.

Here is a tangible piece of "spiritual technology" to keep us present....even if we've got a meter clipped to our hip that counts our daily steps:

Mindful Walking

We walk a lot in our day.

Back and forth down the hallway to get the kids ready for school.

What seems like MILES in Costco going from one end to the other.

Taking the dog for a walk....you catch my drift....there's A LOT of steps in our day.

What if we were to change these daily activities into a walking meditation?

For those who read this and say, "I don't have time to meditate!"  Here's a solution.

For those who read this and have a daily meditation practice, you'll love this walking meditation and it's very easy.  Here's how to do it:

1.  Take two steps and repeat the mantra, "I have arrived."

2.  Take two steps and repeat the mantra, "I am home."

That's it!

Repeat each mantra every two steps, and my friend, think of the transformation your life will quickly take by gaining the awareness, peace, and struggle-free living brought on, simply, by being present in your daily activities!

There have been over 600 medical studies done on meditation...all of which have scientific data supporting the physical, mental and emotional benefits of meditation.  There is no reason why everyone should not be meditating....this tool gives you all the benefits in something you are already doing everyday.

Give it a try for a day and be sure to leave your comments below!  Share your wins and even your challenges!

Transformation can be challenging, however, challenges bring on new lessons....we want to hear them!