Mothers Day Thoughts

This Sunday, May 14, is Mothers' Day. It is a day set aside to express gratitude for the women who gave us birth, and the men and women who were our first care-givers. Each of us has her own story of how successfully our mothers gave us models for raising our own children. In my opinion, motherhood can be the most thankless job; yet it is the most important one for living a life that is healthy-minded.  Our mothers are our first gods. They held the power of life and death over us. They were responsible for our physical and emotional care. They fed us, clothed us and by their words and  example showed us what love is;our understanding of the nature of love paved the way for all our relationships.

There is a powerful quote that is attributed to many people including Jonas Salk,

"Good parents give their children roots and wings. Roots to know where home is, wings to fly away and exercise what's been taught them."

My parents gave me roots and wings. I am living in Southern California, my parents, who had both been born and raised in the Canadian prairies, still lived within one hundred miles of their places of birth at the time of their passing. 

Two years ago, when my mom had a stroke and while she was still in the hospital she was struggling to ask me something. The stroke had left her weak. She finally managed to say,

"Why do you live so far away?"

I was very sad and did not have an answer. My inner answer seemed to be selfish and shallow. I was living my dream of being a New Thought minister in paradise. I was living where I wanted to be.

Lela Eugenia Clark, my mother, made her transition on June 23, 2016. She was not a woman without flaws. She had her own insecurities as well as an abundance of strengths: she modeled creativity, commitment, leadership and fierce independence. I am very grateful that she was my mother. Some traditions say I chose her. 

I talk to her when I see butterflies when I am out walking. I talk to her when I see a pair of doves building a nest, knowing she is now with my dad again.

And now, I can answer the question:

"Mom, I am living so far away because you did such an amazing job in giving me roots and wings."

Of the three daughters in the photo below, my oldest sister, Kathy stayed close to home, my baby sister Cheryl has lived in Calgary for thirty years, about nine hours away, and I have lived here in paradise for 24 years. Good job, Mom. 

Happy Mothers Day to all mothers. 

Lela Clark and daughters Kathy, Cheryl & Heather

Wholeness Revealed as Scars are Healed

Sister Kathy and I

In preparation for Altogether Day this coming Sunday, I have been watching the movie "Frozen." The movie explores many themes including the true love between sisters and how actions can be misinterpreted. I began thinking that our deep emotional scars may not have been incurred through a parent's angry words, or a teacher's frustrated statements, but through a siblings's inexplicable actions. When I was a little girl, and even today, my older sister was my role model. I wanted to be just like her. I especially wanted her approval for my activities.

When I was in kindergarten, our class was doing a version of the "The Hokey Pokey" for our annual Christmas concert. The auditorium was crowded with adults and children. Evidently my sister had been teasing me that I would forget the lyrics or more likely put the wrong foot in. When the rest of the children filed off, I when to the front of the stage and peered down at her and asked, "Wasn't I good Kathryn?" She was in 5th grade and was angry that all eyes were on her. She didn't speak to me on the drive home. Of course, I was heartbroken.

That incident held the seed to the biggest belief that I had to overcome on the way to being a platform minister. What I had to get to was the awareness that if I was pleased with what I said or did, then it didn't matter at all whether others approved or not.

Recently when I spent time with sister, she told me how much she regretted being embarrassed and angry. All these years later, those were words I wanted to hear. Wholeness was revealed and scars of the past were healed.

In "Frozen" Elsa, the older sister has magical powers that become uncontrolled when she is upset. Her parents teach her to "conceal, not feel." They did it for her good and the safety of her sister, but it is among the worst pieces of advice I have ever heard. From it, her sister thought that she was no longer loved; that they were no longer friends.

The movie has a beautiful ending in which the true love that sisters have for one another is the healing power of life itself. 

In a way, all of us have the power to heal or to hurt. Our "magic" is in the words we use and the actions we take.