Mothers Day Thoughts

This Sunday, May 14, is Mothers' Day. It is a day set aside to express gratitude for the women who gave us birth, and the men and women who were our first care-givers. Each of us has her own story of how successfully our mothers gave us models for raising our own children. In my opinion, motherhood can be the most thankless job; yet it is the most important one for living a life that is healthy-minded.  Our mothers are our first gods. They held the power of life and death over us. They were responsible for our physical and emotional care. They fed us, clothed us and by their words and  example showed us what love is;our understanding of the nature of love paved the way for all our relationships.

There is a powerful quote that is attributed to many people including Jonas Salk,

"Good parents give their children roots and wings. Roots to know where home is, wings to fly away and exercise what's been taught them."

My parents gave me roots and wings. I am living in Southern California, my parents, who had both been born and raised in the Canadian prairies, still lived within one hundred miles of their places of birth at the time of their passing. 

Two years ago, when my mom had a stroke and while she was still in the hospital she was struggling to ask me something. The stroke had left her weak. She finally managed to say,

"Why do you live so far away?"

I was very sad and did not have an answer. My inner answer seemed to be selfish and shallow. I was living my dream of being a New Thought minister in paradise. I was living where I wanted to be.

Lela Eugenia Clark, my mother, made her transition on June 23, 2016. She was not a woman without flaws. She had her own insecurities as well as an abundance of strengths: she modeled creativity, commitment, leadership and fierce independence. I am very grateful that she was my mother. Some traditions say I chose her. 

I talk to her when I see butterflies when I am out walking. I talk to her when I see a pair of doves building a nest, knowing she is now with my dad again.

And now, I can answer the question:

"Mom, I am living so far away because you did such an amazing job in giving me roots and wings."

Of the three daughters in the photo below, my oldest sister, Kathy stayed close to home, my baby sister Cheryl has lived in Calgary for thirty years, about nine hours away, and I have lived here in paradise for 24 years. Good job, Mom. 

Happy Mothers Day to all mothers. 

Lela Clark and daughters Kathy, Cheryl & Heather

Everything Changes

Recently my Mom made her transition to her new life.  Although her death was not unexpected, it was still difficult. Your  cards, prayers and messages made it possible for me to bear. One of my students and friends, wrote a line of truth, "96 is too young to die." 

The truth is that life is eternal. She is still with us in spirit. She is free, but we are lonely. We miss her. But wouldn't it be strange if we didn't.

We have been reminiscing. Sharing our memories has helped me to accept what is while honoring the unique qualities of our mother.

1953? Clark family

The thing I would like to share in today's blog is how Mom was very strict about using proper language; we were not allowed to swear, curse or use any vulgar language. When I was preschool age, I saw a 4-letter word written on the sidewalk. The "f" word.  I asked her how to pronounce it and what it meant. She said it was a word that some "bad boys" made up. That worked for me until I saw the same word scribbled in a distant city.I knew then that either those "bad boys" get around or it was a word she didn't want to explain to me.

My sister remembers getting her mouth washed out with soap for saying "sh*t." When we read the Christmas story, Jesus rode on a donkey, not an ass.  

However, Mom loved stories. Both she and dad had read to us when we were children. While her eyesight was good she loved to read. Then she discovered the talking books. She went through dozens of them. She especially liked modern, romantic fiction by authors like Danielle Steele.

One day, my sister was taking Mom to a doctor's appointment. Mom was having trouble getting out of the car and said to Kathy, "I'm having trouble hauling my ass out of here!" Kathy was certain she had misheard! Kathy asked her what she had said. She repeated it and then said, "I guess I've been listening to too much Danielle Steele."

Everything changes. Maybe "hauling my ass" was exactly the right way to express herself that day.

A Walker is a Good Support