What is Accountability for Us?

A Prayer Wall at our Center: We Go to God First

What is a culture of accountability? Do we have this culture at our Center?  My questions led to more questions.

Roger Connors in his book Fix It: Getting Accountability Right  writes: "Accountability is a personal choice to rise above one's circumstances and demonstrate the ownership necessary for achieving Key Results: See It, Own It, Solve It, and Do It."

So key results in our Center would always start with God-- seeking guidance from the highest power through prayer and visioning. It is also about taking action. If you take ownership of your organization, and you see something that needs to be done, you do it. Currently there are many examples of this accountability right in our Center. For instance, we have several people who have been researching buildings for us. Whenever we have meals together, we have people stay to help clean up.

This month we have scheduled a series of visioning sessions. Visioning is a process in which one listens for direction from God, Divine Mind, Mother/Father God. We are doing these sessions so that each member and friend of our Center can contribute to the overall vision of our future. Everyone's participation adds to the practice of cultural accountability by taking part in the fulfillment and flourishing of our Center.

I will not be leading the visioning this Sunday because I have another Center commitment, but I know that the right and perfect people will attend. Lee Van Slyke will be leading it. I will be leading it again the following week. Visioning is important work for us to do for our community.

I wasn't exactly certain what culture meant in this context either. The dictionary didn't help, but Centers for Spiritual Living, founding documents, our Organization Design Model did help. I love this document and am so proud that our Center not only embraced these ideas but many of us were part of the creation process of these documents.  In Section 4, under the heading Our Organizational Culture you will find these wonderful words:

"We are a healthy, effective organization honoring and respecting each other and all of creation.

We  are known for the love that we share throughout our community and the world. 

We stand together in a shared commitment and devotion to our spiritual principles, practices and values. 

We are all in this Life together and we include everyone in our vision of a peaceful, loving world. 

We embrace the evolution and revelation of higher consciousness. 

We are prayerful and principled in our decision-making and actions. 

We practice the spiritual tools put forward by our founder, Dr. Ernest Holmes, in The Science of Mind, and by other spiritual leaders and mystics who teach and apply truth principles  for our individual lives."

Today, out of the blue, we received a note from one our our members who was writing to thank us for being who we are. This person addressed the note to her Family of Love. She said that when she walked in she felt love, acceptance and home. She went on to say that when she started attending her thinking was self-destructive but she didn't know how to stop it. She went on to say that now she knows that she is Love, Light, and Life and she is perfect, whole and complete, priceless freedom. She signed the note with gratitude for all of us.

I believe we have a demonstration that we have a culture of accountability.

Celebrating My Brothers

On Sunday, June 4, my baby brothers will be 67 years old.

I remember when they were born. We were expecting ONE baby.  Evidently the doctor was not sure there were two babies. She could tell there were extra appendages, but because of their position in my mother's womb, the doctor couldn't hear two heartbeats.

Up-until-their birth, our family was perfect in my eyes. I was three years old. I had an eight-year-old sister, whom I adored, both parents, my maternal grandparents,lots of cousins and aunts and uncles. I really didn't want the change of adding more children to our family! I remember peering into the bassinet and hearing my grandma exclaim, "Two BOYS! We are so lucky!"

Now grandma and I were very close. I knew she loved and valued me, but what I heard in those words was "Girls are not as good nor as desirable as boys. So up to now, they had their girl, my older sister and now they had TWO boys. We don't need another girl. You are one child more than we need."

None of this was true.

Coincidentally, just after their births, I had to have my tonsils removed. It was my first trip to a hospital. I thought the nurses were mean and they treated me like a baby. Imagine! I had to sleep in a crib. I had been sleeping in a regular bed with my sister for several months. Likely to free up a crib for my brother(s.) The prevailing "wisdom" was that mothers couldn't have any contact with their children while they were in the hospital. So little did I know, my mommy had come to see me every day, for ten days, but had to peak in when I was asleep.

I was a child of great imagination. I knew that Mommy had gone to the hospital to get my brothers. I assumed my family didn't need me anymore and they were taking me back. I was terrified and I was heart-broken. I didn't even smile for the ice cream when my throat was recovering.

As children, my brothers were pests to me. I was trying to carve out a place of importance for myself and these two interlopers were budging in. We didn't seem to have much in common. They even spoke a strange twin language. They called each other Dodi and Nonny. To make matters worse they seemed to be good in sports in which I often played drawback. So my jealousy and insecurity got in the way of really getting to know them.

When our mother made her transition last year, they both spoke at her service. I saw that they were kind, sensitive and loving. They did her proud. She was proud of all her children. Both brothers have children of their own, interestingly they had boys. And they are lucky! And so am I to be their auntie.

Happy birthday to my brothers Gerald Roy Neil Clark and John Douglas Lorne Clark.

Adorable baby boys Johnny (Nonny) and Gerry (Dodi)

Lela Clark and her 5 children
Gerald, Heather, Kathryn, Cheryl, John

It is April and I am experiencing a little bit of spring fever, defined as  a feeling of restlessness. I have been researching short pieces for a wedding I will help officiate in August. Part of my research led me  to a website for on-religious weddings. On it I found a quote which I will share with you in a few minutes. 

First let me tell you that in 1968 in order to complete my Bachelor of Education degree, I needed one last undergraduate class. I chose an introduction to Philosophy -- Philosophy 101. It wasn't exactly Philosophy for Dummies but it was a course that touched upon the well-known philosophers from Plato to Kant. I was young and found most of it exceedingly ponderous. (By that time in my education, I had decided that most so-called intellectuals were neither scholarly nor bright. I was a jaded twenty-year-old!) Then our professor added to the prescribed reading list the book, The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery. I adored the book. It helped me change my mind about the course.  It spoke to the larger concepts that the other philosophers were writing about but in the form of a timeless allegory about love and innocence. It spoke to my heart. It is about a prince from another planet who learned about life from the people and creatures he met on Earth.

By the time I got to this course, I was burnt-out. I had been taking classes without  a break for three years. No summer break. No spring break... just the next class. I was trudging through my higher education. I wanted to be finished with it so I could get to the real work of changing the lives and hearts of teenagers. I had sailed through high school but my grades in University were disastrous; the only "A" I got in University was in Philosophy 101.My enthusiasm for the philosophy class had a great deal to do with the book.  I hope you enjoy this excerpt from The Little Prince.

"'To establish ties'?"

"Just that," said the fox. "To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world . . ."

"My life is very monotonous," the fox said. "I hunt chickens; men hunt me. All the chickens are just alike, and all the men are just alike. And, in consequence, I am a little bored. But if you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life. I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others. Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground. Yours will call me, like music, out of my burrow. And then look: you see the grain-fields down yonder? I do not eat bread. Wheat is of no use to me. The wheat fields have nothing to say to me. And that is sad. But you have hair that is the color of gold. Think how wonderful that will be when you have tamed me! The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat . . ."

The fox gazed at the little prince, for a long time.

 "One only understands the things that one tames," said the fox. "Men have no more time to understand anything. They buy things all ready made at the shops. But there is no shop anywhere where one can buy friendship, and so men have no friends any more. If you want a friend, tame me . . .""What must I do, to tame you?" asked the little prince.

"You must be very patient," replied the fox. "First you will sit down at a little distance from me--like that--in the grass. I shall look at you out of the corner of my eye, and you will say nothing. Words are the source of misunderstandings. But you will sit a little closer to me, every day . . ."
The next day the little prince came back...  

So the little prince tamed the fox. And when the hour of his departure drew near--
"Ah," said the fox, "I shall cry."
"It is your own fault," said the little prince. "I never wished you any sort of harm; but you wanted me to tame you . . ."
"Yes, that is so," said the fox.
"But now you are going to cry!" said the little prince.
"Yes, that is so," said the fox.
"Then it has done you no good at all!"
"It has done me good," said the fox, "because of the color of the wheat fields." And then he added:
 "And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
"What is essential is invisible to the eye," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

Perhaps the solution to my spring fever is to find a friend that I can tame.According to Saint-Expurey, I will need to be patient. It will be much more important to be myself  rather  than to speak or do anything in particular.  "Only with the heart can one see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye."

Consciously Planting Your Spiritual Seeds

Many New Thought teachers have used the metaphor of a garden for the creative process. Sometimes, the preparation for the planting is omitted in the process.  When we omit preparing the soil, we will end up with a garden that is sparse and looks neglected. For we find that we rarely stumble across soil that is tilled, fertilized and weed-free. We often find in our garden plot: stones, clumps of dirt, and unlimited weeds.

The same is true for metaphysical planting. We are always experiencing the sum total of our consciousness, known and unknown. This is one of the reasons for being in the habit of keeping a personal journal. It will help you discover what are your deep thoughts, known and unknown, and beliefs. It will show you where you are repeating the same experiences for years despite the conscious, stated intention to have a new experience.

Socrates lived by the words: "An unexamined life is not worth living."

Someone quipped: "An unlived life is not worth examining!" 

The second statement brings some humor but it is equally false. An unlived life is the result of thinking the same monotonous, false beliefs as ever.  

Thee beliefs include: "There is never enough to go around." or "There is never enough for me." Or the terrible too's can set in, "I am too old...too fat...too short...too tall...too uneducated...too over-educated." or "Why did I lose that position? or husband? or friend?"

When we discover that we have been abusing ourselves with these false beliefs, we must begin at once to reverse our thinking. (This is akin to pulling up weeds.) It helps me to remind myself that I am made in the image of Divine Mind, Infinite Presence. Then I simply ask myself if what I have been declaring could be the case for God. Could it be true that God is too old? Could Divine Mind be too poorly educated? Could First Cause be limited by any negativity?

Clearly the answer is, " No, It could not."

Then what? Get some vital seeds and plant them. You will know the seed's vitality by your confidence that what you are planting you shall surely harvest.  Having a vision of your manifest good, is helpful.

Years ago I saw my eventual ministry in a visioning. I saw myself in a place with palm trees by the ocean. At the time I lived in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. There is not a single palm tree and the ocean with palm trees is 1450 miles distant.  Now I live by the ocean and there are palm trees everywhere.

I offer the following Affirmative prayer for each one to expand his or her consciousness:

Divine Mind is all-knowing, everywhere present, Infinite Peace and Infinite Love. Its Nature is Love and It operates through Its own impeccable Law. Knowing that this One is everywhere present, i know It is right where I am. it is in me, for me and as me now.  I know that Divine Love opens my heart to all people. I see Grace, Beauty, Joy and Light in all others. I see myself as a peace-maker and peace keeper. I let go of my ego and undefended go about the business of seeing Good everywhere. I joyously accept this as the Truth. With gratitude, aware that my word has already been acted upon, I place this word in God's perfect law. It is complete. And so it is.

Palm Trees Everywhere

Abide With Me

The first line of a hymn from my childhood is in my heart and mind. 

"Abide With me; fast falls the eventide;

  the darkness deepens; Lord, with me abide;

 When other helpers fail and comforts flee,

 Help of the helpless, oh, abide with me."  Henry F. Lyte

I know that it may sound old-fashioned, but I also feel the wisdom and power in the words.  It is really the spiritual solution to absolutely every kind of darkness, every problem, every concern. It is asking the Lord (the Law and the Love)  to stay with us.

The word abide means to stay, or remain, or even tarry.

The song was inspired by scripture, Luke 24:29. It was after Jesus resurrection and the disciples were begging Jesus to stay with them.

Knowing that the Christ consciousness is the consciousness of oneness, of infinite possibilities, peace, comfort and hope, we begin to understand why this old hymn was so popular at funerals in mid 20th century. When we feel abandoned or left behind, passed over or grief-stricken, we need God's help. The answer is always to turn to God. When we do, the presence embraces us and gives of Itself - peace, comfort, love.

Today I am grieving the passing of our dear friend Rev. Michael DiFebo. I know with absolute certainty that Rev. Michael lives on and lives better where he is now. And I also know that for his friends and family, hope, comfort and peace are desperately needed. None of us were ready to let him go.He was a vibrant, loving, gregarious bigger-than-life man of faith. I know that Rev. Michael is now fully abiding in God. I know the answer for all of us left behind, the answer is to ask God to "stay with us." 

You are probably wondering why I would phrase it that way. God does not have to be coaxed to stay with us. God cannot abandon us, for It is in us, responding to us, whether or not we believe in God. However, the simple act of asking for God's help opens the floodgates of love, peace and comfort (that were there all along.) It opens our receptiveness to God's love.

So the key is to keep God, Divine Mind, eternal Loving-Kindness,foremost  in our minds and hearts. Then the "helpless' become the "helped."

I am reminded of singing in the junior choir in the United Church (of Canada) in my childhood home of Conquest, Saskatchewan. Of course I was a school girl then. I didn't understand death because I didn't understand the nature of life. But now those lyrics are deeply meaningful to me. I know I am uplifted when I turn to God and abide in God's love.
Below is an instrumental version by James Last.

The Trouble with Hate

Dr. Kenn Gordon wrote a great message today about peace and unrest. He said, "It is not what we hate that is the issue, the issue is that we hate at all."

That brings to mind, my favorite quote from The Science of Mind by Ernest Holmes:

My Identity: Who Am I?

And it is a law that the man who sees what he wants to see, regardless of what appears, will someday experience in the outer what he has so faithfully seen in the within.  From selfish reasons alone, if from no loftier reason, we cannot afford to find fault, to hate, or even to hold in mind anything against any living soul! The God of love cannot hear the prayer of the one who fails to love."

I remember before I had taken any Science of Mind or personal development courses, I used to routinely make statements about things I hated-- the weather, those people, shoveling snow, scraping the ice off my windshield, bigots, and any other condition or belief which I had judged as inferior or bad or unlovely. 

The truth that I came to know is that the Divine Mind is everywhere present and is always responsive to what is impressed upon it. I started re-framing my statements. I had a great coach who would remind me that we didn't hate anything!  I started saying (and eventually believing) that I would prefer gentle weather or that all weather is good. I would start seeing people as doing the best that they could and eventually to see their loveliness and uniqueness as individualized expressions of the Divine.

What I didn't know at the beginning of my studies are the benefits I was withholding from myself by thinking such thoughts as "hate" about anything. The "God of love" could not answer my prayers for greater good because It needs to correspond to the person praying. God is the antithesis of hate. It could not give of Itself because I had not renewed my mind.

In Romans 12:2, the apostle Paul wrote,

"And be not conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is good and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."

When I  renew my mind, I simply remind myself of the nature of God. I remind myself that this limitless, eternal love created me and everyone else in ITS likeness so that God's beauty, peace, and truth could be manifest.

They Were Here First

Black Bear Similar to My Bandit

When I was seventeen, our family had a vacation in a beautiful park in Waskesui, Saskatchewan. Waskesiu is a beautiful area with numerous lakes and backwoods which is essentially untouched by humans. Of course, that means that there is plenty of fish and also wildlife -- squirrels, bears, elk, moose, cougars, and wolves.That summer, we had a visit by a black bear who knew how to take the lids off trash cans. He did make quite a commotion, though, while he was doing it. I considered him to be a heroic creature -- a resourceful bandit. This bear was not welcomed by authorities. They had captured him once before and taken him out far into the bush, marked him and released him. He was now known as dangerous!  The next evening he was back, and so were the authorities. The chase wound around by our camp-site. Then a  gun was fired. It was one of the loudest sounds I had ever heard! It drew the men and boys  to see what had happened; They reported that the bear was killed. I cried for a long time.

I couldn't get over how unjust it was that he bear lost his life when we were trespassing on his territory. We were enjoying the natural habitat that bears had known as theirs for centuries before there were any camp sites developed. Why did they get a warning and then lose their lives? As an adult, I better understand that public places need to provide safety to those who are using their facilities. The campers needed to feel safe. But the fact is that bear had not harmed us, it had just disturbed our peace and made a mess.

Maybe I can use this incident to help understand life.

The indigenous people were also here for thousands of years before we arrived. By all accounts, we did not treat them with respect nor did we try to bring compassion and understanding. Rather we attempted to change their religion, culture and ways. 

If we are to live in a world that works for everyone, we need to be able to bring curiosity and respect to every person we meet. One of the things we can do is to practice the golden rule: Do unto others as I wish them to do unto me." Also we can resolve to practice the negative golden rule: "Do not do unto others which we would not want done to us."

We may wish to embrace compassion. Author Karen Armstrong has created a Charter for Compassion. In part it says:

"The principle of compassion lies at the heart of all religious, ethical and spiritual traditions, calling us always to treat all others as we ourselves wish to be treated...

 It is also necessary both in private and public life to refrain consistently and empathically from inflicting pain...

Rooted in a  principled determination to transcend selfishness, compassion can break down political, dogmatic, ideological and religious  boundaries."

It is time to listen deeply to each other and open to the spirit of Love within ourselves. Let us be united in our love.

Connecting With Source

"I Was Told to Live
By some inner mystic Presence,
I was told to live, and to love, to laugh and be glad.
I was told to be still and know of the One Almighty Power, in and through all.
I was told to let that Power work through and for me.
I believed that voice and I received my Good.
I am healed -- The joy of Life"
                                                            The Science of Mind, P. 521

This is one of the beautiful meditations in the back of the textbook. We are encouraged to contemplate its meaning as we sit in stillness. This is not my usual meditation. I usually silently chant a mantra. It is usually very satisfying to me.

With the passing of my mother some of my usual practices didn't work very well. Meditation was one of them. I felt scattered and unfocused. I was sad because when I needed God's support and comfort the most, I felt like I wasn't getting it. Of course, the Divine Presence has never deserted me and I knew that intellectually but I desperately wanted to feel it.

Having a personal relationship with God has always been my strength. It is what pulled me into the Science of Mind, into taking classes and into ministry. So I asked the practitioners to pray for me. I was "hoping" that my next meditation would be satisfying, but they were not.

What did happen as a result of those prayers from our practitioner team was you.
What brings the feeling of connection with God is people. You. Your hugs, notes, texts and cards bring a feeling of deep appreciation and love. Your kindness sends ripples of good out into the Universe. It not only blesses the receiver but also it lifts up the whole community. I am deeply grateful. You are the wind beneath my wings.

Juli Isola Photography

Wholeness Revealed as Scars are Healed

Sister Kathy and I

In preparation for Altogether Day this coming Sunday, I have been watching the movie "Frozen." The movie explores many themes including the true love between sisters and how actions can be misinterpreted. I began thinking that our deep emotional scars may not have been incurred through a parent's angry words, or a teacher's frustrated statements, but through a siblings's inexplicable actions. When I was a little girl, and even today, my older sister was my role model. I wanted to be just like her. I especially wanted her approval for my activities.

When I was in kindergarten, our class was doing a version of the "The Hokey Pokey" for our annual Christmas concert. The auditorium was crowded with adults and children. Evidently my sister had been teasing me that I would forget the lyrics or more likely put the wrong foot in. When the rest of the children filed off, I when to the front of the stage and peered down at her and asked, "Wasn't I good Kathryn?" She was in 5th grade and was angry that all eyes were on her. She didn't speak to me on the drive home. Of course, I was heartbroken.

That incident held the seed to the biggest belief that I had to overcome on the way to being a platform minister. What I had to get to was the awareness that if I was pleased with what I said or did, then it didn't matter at all whether others approved or not.

Recently when I spent time with sister, she told me how much she regretted being embarrassed and angry. All these years later, those were words I wanted to hear. Wholeness was revealed and scars of the past were healed.

In "Frozen" Elsa, the older sister has magical powers that become uncontrolled when she is upset. Her parents teach her to "conceal, not feel." They did it for her good and the safety of her sister, but it is among the worst pieces of advice I have ever heard. From it, her sister thought that she was no longer loved; that they were no longer friends.

The movie has a beautiful ending in which the true love that sisters have for one another is the healing power of life itself. 

In a way, all of us have the power to heal or to hurt. Our "magic" is in the words we use and the actions we take.

We Live in an Abundant Universe

Abundance of Apricots

Directly in front of my kitchen window is an apricot tree reminding me of the Universal presence of Spirit's abundance. She has so much fruit that she is constantly releasing fruit which by morning is covering my backyard. This bounty would feed a family of four all winter if one knew how to make preserves. I bring some of the fruit to my spiritual Center to share and there is still plenty to enjoy and to share. (One of my neighbors asked if she could have some, I joyfully agreed, but if she took any there was no appreciable  difference to the tree or the yard when I looked the next day.)

Of course that is nature's way of replenishing itself. The seed in the middle of the fruit could produce another apricot tree until there was an orchard of apricot  trees. I see evidence that birds and other creatures are feeding on the fruit as well. And by that design the birds would take the seeds and drop them in soil or the mice would take their prizes and bury them in their nests.

To me this is the nature of life. The universe is abundant. We have access to infinite ideas which have infinite potential to bring good into our lives. Nature is bountiful and knows it. Nature gives generously confident that there is always more to give.

So I can actually use the prosperity of apricots to remind me of all my other blessings. I am going to consciously give thanks for the goodness in my life and celebrate it. Every time I pick up an apricot from the ground I am going to affirm that  I live in an abundant universe, and consciously give thanks for all the good I have already experienced. Then when I pick apricots to share and to enjoy I will affirm that "it is the Father's good pleasure to give me the kingdom." I am reminded that I cannot out give God. I will give with love because I do love to give.

Where do you see abundance today?

The Greatest Healing Power

Recently I saw a news story that touched me deeply. I think it is a universal message of being connected to everyone and everything. It is a true story which is still going on in Whittier, CA. It is about Ed Gernon, who opened his heart to a feral dog, and gave him a home. The dog, now known as Rex, was basically living on his hunting skills. Then one day when  they were out for a walk, Rex stopped and wouldn't leave a tiny, injured hummingbird. Ed says that the bird looked dead to him, was covered in ants but Rex insisted that his companion do something. So Ed took the hummingbird home and nursed her back to health. The hummingbird, aptly named Hummer has been living in Ed's home for the past year. Ed says he surprised himself with the measures he took. He fed little Hummer every fifteen minutes from sunrise to sunset  until she regained her strength. He says he taught her to fly with a hair dryer. She loves both the man and the dog who rescued her. She bathes in Rex's water dish. She sleeps in Ed's glasses. She will even let him give her a kiss. The three of them are inseparable.

When I saw this story, I was deeply moved for many reasons. First, Ed had to see the gentle possibilities in his adopted "wild, bad boy" dog. Then Ed's dedication to Hummer was amazing. Constant, consistent loving care was required and the results are miraculous. Patience and optimism were present. Ed was guided to listen to Rex when Rex was insistent that he save this little creature. The story did not say that Ed was a bird lover and in fact left me with the impression that raising a hummingbird was the last thing on Ed's mind. Yet the intelligence within him guided him to do the right thing. Love guided him to befriend both of these beings. 

Paul told us in Corinthians 1:14: "Love is patient. Love is kind."

Ernest Holmes tells us the the Divine is present in all people and all beings. Ed Gernon's loving care is evidence of that patience and kindness.

It makes me wonder how many times I have walked right by someone or something that could have used my help. It makes me wonder what other gifts I have to give. Ed, Rex and Hummer are my teachers even though they have never met me. Today I will look for ways to be kind.

No need to Jump through Hoops

Do you have a belief, either conscious or unconscious, that you need to meet certain criteria to be spiritually acceptable?  Many of of were taught that there was a God somewhere judging our every action and thought! He was particularly interested in our sinful, perhaps lusty thoughts. Then at the end of your life you would be judged as being good or "not good enough" to enter into Heaven. That version has several flaws.

First, our Creator would not give us desires and then judge us for the very desires He created in us and then judge us for using them. It would make God mean-spirited, petty and unforgiving. That might be creating God in our image! Or someone we might know.

Second, heaven is within. We are already in it and do not have to earn it. We simply need to choose it.

 A mean-spirited God  is not the kind of God I believe in.

I believe in the God of Love. The God who was crazy in  love with Itself, who couldn't stop Itself from making me and you in Its image and likeness.

I believe in a God who is beside Himself with Joy, doing the Snoopy dance all day long. Wherever the Divine Gaze rests,beauty  springs forth.

I believe in a Creator wild about the colors that he has created. I envision Him at play in the hoar-frost of winter, the new cherry blossoms in spring and the gorgeous autumn colors. 

A mother's love for her young is God's crowning glory, His "piece de resistance" I see the Creator in the hummingbird who built her nest right outside my front door, in a scrawny bush, but still with enough camouflage her babies would be safe. She sat on the nest until two little hummingbirds were ready to fly!

Mother hummingbird well hidden

I believe in the kindness and goodness of all people. 

Recently I moved out of the home I have been living in for four years. I was greatly blessed by kindness from others. I am thankful for all of them. I am thankful for the planners who laid out my new home and organized my existing furniture in it. I am grateful for the fast -thinking packers who simply were in the flow of doing, never stopping simply moving forward. I am grateful for the methodical packers who measured twice or three times and cut once. I am grateful for the Window Guy who replaced screens for me because I felt it was the right thing to do. I am grateful for the hauling and sorting. I am grateful for my cleaning women who look after me so well, seeing with eyes filled with compassion for me. I see God in each one of these beloved. I see the evidence of the Divine. All of it is Love in action and I am greatly blessed. I see that there never was any need to jump through any spiritual hoops. My good, just like the baby hummingbirds' good, is at hand. I am choosing heaven today!

A better look at the Hummingbird

Will The Real Love Please Stand UP…NOW?!

With February Being the LOVE month…with Valentine’s Day having just been celebrated…by a large number of us…with chocolate covered strawberries, roses, Cupid’s arrow, and those proverbial Hallmark wishes…Let’s Talk About Love!

Let’s talk about Truth…NOW! …’cause Love is in the air!

Remember last week’s blog?...

Our primary relationship is with ourselves. When we love ourselves fully and unconditionally, we throw open the channels between ourselves and the universe to give and receive love.

Got IT?...Get IT?...GREAT!!!

If someone were to ask me: "What is the most difficult challenge that you've faced in your life?" I would unhesitatingly reply: "In time past…To be myself." To be oneself in all situations is often an impossible job that calls for effort, courage and brutal honesty. But, to be myself I need to know myself. And to know myself, I must  Love  myself.

Some may hate to describe themselves as self-loving because we have been told that this is narcissistic. That there is an element of wantonness in admitting: "I am a wonderful person and I Love myself"

Ask Yourself:  When I look into the mirror,  am I happy with whom I see.?  Do I ever allow my imperfections to neutralize what is best in me.?  Do I accept myself without conditions?

Dale Carnegie, the best-selling author of How to Win Friends and Influence People, tells the story of a woman, Edith, who, as a child, used to be sensitive, shy and overweight. She never went to parties, never had any fun and always felt that she was different and undesirable.  Later, she married a man several years her senior.  Her in-laws were all outgoing, poised and confident people.  But that did not affect Edith's shyness. She felt she was a failure and feared that if her husband found out the truth, it would be the end of their marriage. So, Edith put up a show of gaiety, while deep within unhappiness eroded her. One day, she overheard her mother-in-law say, referring to the secret behind her children's poise and happiness: "No matter what happened, I always insisted on my children being themselves." Almost overnight Edith changed. She began a search for herself, building on her strong points, accepting without apology her weaker points.

Striving for authenticity in thought and action is the first mature step in self-evolution. We feel alienated from others because we don't show our real selves for fear of rejection. The result is internal dissonance. We can connect with our inner selves only when we peel off all masks. To accept the totality of our being, we must become compassionate towards ourselves. Accepting our negativity is an integral part of the human experience; we can then extend this to others. This is true compassion.

The American philosopher, Emerson makes a valid point in his essay On Self-reliance: "There is a time in every man's education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better, for worse, as his portion; that though the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given to him to till. The power which resides in him is new in nature, and none but he knows what that is  which he can do, nor does he know until he has tried."

Ironically, we spend a major part of our lives with a begging bowl, pleading for love from others. We believe that we will feel better if people   love us.  But the love I want begins with me. I can experience real   love only when I fill myself with love…and am willing to give it to others. The more I give, the more I receive.

All our life's experiences comprise an endless learning act. We merely need the willingness. We must all learn to bypass the cacophony of the world to reach into the silence of our soul. In order to love… in order to be happy… we must learn to be present in each moment.  Don't keep your happiness on hold.  Hey, Life is not a dress rehearsal.  Now is the only time we have.

If  we  work for them, all our material  dreams can be achieved. But if what we seek is something beyond, something that endures within us, we must give priority to love and happiness. We are willing to invest time and money in the pursuit of material gains. But, we don't do the same to establish love, happiness and peace of mind. If only each of us could pray to alleviate the pain and suffering of others, we could make that vital connection with the real us.

In his book Seat of the Soul, Gary Zukav asks his readers not to pass value judgment or censure anybody. If we do so, we in turn will be judged by the universe and penalized accordingly. Judgments build walls between people, create hostility. When negative thoughts intrude, break its flow by repeating to yourself words such as love, joy and harmony. Words weave patterns in our lives. Build up a vocabulary of words that have positive connotations.

Tomorrow really never comes. We have only today, maybe only this fleeting minute. So let us be grateful for every moment that comes our way. Many successful people began and ended their day by an act of gratitude. The universe, God —call it what you will—has been magnanimous with us today.

So let us close our eyes, recall every happy moment that we have experienced, and thank this power with all our heart. As gratitude and appreciation grow and fill your life, you will learn how to sincerely love yourself for what you really are.

There is not a single person in this universe who leads a problem-free life. Yet we encounter people whose lives appear dynamic and joyous. What sets them apart? The answer: they do not allow themselves to be immobilized by little things. They respond to problems with ease, change things that can be changed and accept those that can't. In the process, they come closer to the wisdom of discernment.

Contemporary wisdom would have us believe that packing each day with things that need to be done is the secret of success. But Life isn't all about getting things done as much as it is about enjoying each step along the way. Many a marital discord erupts from couples' obsession with getting everything done in record time and to perfection. If, on the other hand, I ask myself each night: "Has my Life made a little bit of difference to at least one person?" and hear a resounding "Yes!" in reply, all the things I haven't managed to do over the day would not matter at all.

Remember…

Self love forms the foundation of your single, most important relationship - that with YourSelf. The strength of all your other relationships is exactly equal to the strength of that foundation. To love YourSelf is not just a self-esteem boosting piece of advice. It is the prerequisite to truly loving others. The Golden Rule tells us to, "love your neighbour as you love yourself". You are likely to have heard it many times, expressed in different ways, thinking it is about loving others. Look a little closer though, and you will find that at its very centre is the command to love yourself.

Will the Real Self Love Please Stand Up?

To love yourself is to be in awe of the miracle of your existence. It is to accept yourself as you are - the "light" parts and the "dark", the "good" and the "bad" - while knowing that the real you is above the perceived dualities of the physical realm. It is to be willing to receive as much as you are willing to give and do both equally. It is about knowing your values and your boundaries and honouring them. It is about teaching others how to treat you by showing them how you treat yourself. It is about being kind to yourself. It is about looking after your mind, your body and your Spirit; all three. It is about knowing you are worth it, not because of what you have achieved or what you look like or what others think of you, but because Love is your birthright no matter what.

To YOU Loving YOU!

With Love & Blessings!

Rhonda

"There is a mighty Power within you. There is that Spirit of Life, Light, and Love. The more you feast on these ideas and fast from old corrosive ones, the closer you experience the Life you desire."

-Frank Richelieu, The Art of Being Yourself

Rhonda Maria Farrah, MA, DRWA

The Wellness Institute International

949.527.1574

Licensed Teacher

The Art of Feminine Presence™

Author  of the Forthcoming Book

How To Live & LOVE During The Process of Divorce...

A Journey In Healing & Transformation

rhonda@HelpMeRhondaNOW.com

www.TheWellnessInstitute.tv

Would You Be Your Valentine?!

So…Do YOU Love YourSelf…Would You Be Your Valentine?!

When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad, you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you.  –Unknown

Loving YourSelf is the single most important principle…on this planet… in the creation process. If you don't love yourself, it is likely that you won't decide to give yourself the things you think you want.  Likely that you won't think you deserve them…and even more that you certainly won't have the energy to take action to create them. Of this I am certain!

When we were born, most of us were the center of the Universe. Remember?  Everything revolved around us and our welfare. And then around age 2, socialization took over and familial and societal rules demanded the giving up of Self.  Remember that… share the toy you want, don't ask for what you want, don't want. Good little girls and boys didn't do those things. Now we're adults screaming, "Why can't I create what I want?"  Hey…I know!

It's time to reclaim that little person inside that knew they were good enough, smart enough, brave enough, and special enough to ask for, and get, what they wanted. It's been so long that most of us have lost the art of even knowing how to ask for what we want. Take it from “Little Rhonda” (“lr”)…it’s time!

In my speaking engagements and seminars, often, when I ask for people to state the above, I get responses like… "I don't want to worry about money anymore," and "I don't want to be alone," or "I don't want this dis-ease, illness…this sickness." Nobody says what they want!! They tell me what they want by stating what they DON'T want. Wow…what’s that about???!!!

It doesn't tell me what anyone wants… it doesn't give me clear direction. That is what most of us are doing with the Universe, and the Universe is replying… "Hey…YOU…I don't understand the direction. Say What?  I can't deliver the performance…that which your Soul is requesting and craving!"

I say we all give ourselves permission to love ourselves enough to give us - and the Creative Force - a very clear statement of desire for manifestation…that is, Wellness, Freedom, Love, Bliss, Security, Peace, Grace & Happiness. I AM, and create, all  in my life because I create me as these experiences within first. Match THAT, Universe. And the Universe says, "Yes."

We all want money. Ask for it. We all want love and passion. Ask for it. We all want wellness and unlimited energy. Ask for it.  What are we waiting for?  Really!

The original meaning of the ancient Hebrew teaching "Ask and you receive" …was "Claim or Demand...and you receive." Well, I am stepping forward to claim and demand the attributes of freedom, love, etc. to perfectly match up with the money and passion I claim. Really!  Also… that all is good, in integrity, and unconditional love for all concerned… Especially  me. And I AM standing in my knowing that when I experience my own love and power, I give everyone the excitement, right and power to do the same.

And the Universe says "Yes," “Little Rhonda”. The Universe says - "YES…your wish is my command!"

While I invite my audiences to consider a number of avenues to loving…yes, truly loving Self…I will leave you with what I consider the essentials of same…Loving YourSelf!  They remain…

Treat others with love and respect. Bringing joy to other people's lives will help you find joy in your own. In addition, those that you treat well will likely repay you with the same kindness. Gradually you will start to feel your worth through the smiles of gratitude. However, don't just be very kind to people so you can receive royal treatment

Learn to let go of past events. You deserve a fresh beginning! There are a lot of people out there that have had hard lives/bad beginnings or moments. Don't close yourself out of grief, disappointments, or fears of future ridicule. Acknowledge your feelings, but work to put them behind you. Cherish what you have learned from your challenges, and how you have changed and grown from them. Forgive those who have done you wrong. Most importantly, though, forgive yourself.

Forgive yourself. Don't punish yourself for something you have done in the past. Instead, look at the mistake as a learning experience. Say to yourself now: “I forgive myself for _______.” Go look in a mirror and say it out loud to yourself. Look yourself right in the eyes and speak forgiveness like you mean it. Don't ever demean or ridicule yourself. If you do, laugh out loud, realizing that was then and this is now. Every day is a new beginning. If you did something you are not proud of, resolve to never do it again and take steps to keep it out of your mind.

Do what you love. What do you love to do? If you could find something that you love to do and spend time doing it, you will experience love, joy, and happiness in your heart. That is when you truly connect with your authentic self. As a result you become happier and more loving. Do what you love. What do you love to do? If you could find something that you love to do and spend time doing it, you will experience love, joy, and happiness in your heart. That is when you truly connect with your authentic self. As a result you become happier and more loving.  Ask YourSelf…What makes my tail wag?!

  

Treat yourself like treating your very best friend. How do you treat your very best friend? Do you treat him/her with love, kindness, trust, appreciation, acceptance, and respect? If you can give that to your friend, why don’t you give that to yourself? Practice treating yourself like you treat your very best friend by saying kind words to yourself. Stop calling yourself names. Stop beating yourself up. Give yourself compliments. Know your boundaries ( a BIG one for me) and listen deeply to your needs. Always be kind and gentle with yourself.

Nurture yourself. Self care is very important. Set up some time to be by yourself, just by yourself. Do something that gives you peace, love, and joy with yourself. You can nurture yourself physically by exercising and consuming healthy food. You can nurture yourself emotionally by listening to love songs, painting, or helping others in need. As you give yourself to others and offer help, you receive the gift of love back. You feel good about yourself because you live your life on purpose. You can nurture yourself mentally by reading your favorite books. You can nurture your spiritually by doing meditation.

We spend so much time waiting to be loved, hoping love will find us, searching, yearning  for that special love. Feeling  empty and lost without it. Wanting someone to give us love and fill us up. Unfortunately, that’s not usually how life works. Loving yourself is mainly having self-respect which is the only dependable way to create love in your own life to share with others. When you expect love from an external source, and someone or something does not fulfill your void and fantasies, then you will feel worse than before. To be able to be loved, you must love and respect yourself as much as you do others. Understanding the effects of loving yourself will only enhance your ability to love others. By doing so, you are enabling positive energy and allowing for great situations to occur in your life. This guide will help. Never think that you're living your life for nothing.  Everyday,  there are people coming in and out of the world, so spend it wisely and respect yourself.

In order to love someone, you must love YourSelf!  Of this, I AM certain!

By the way...If you enjoyed this post, found it helpful...or just plain Liked it...Please feel free to share it with someone you know!

Happy Valentine's Day!

To Our Health, Wealth & Empowerment Together!

With Love & Blessings!

Rhonda

"There is a mighty Power within you. There is that Spirit of Life, Light, and Love. The more you feast on these ideas and fast from old corrosive ones, the closer you experience the Life you desire."

-Frank Richelieu, The Art of Being Yourself

Rhonda Maria Farrah, MA, DRWA

The Wellness Institute International

949.527.1574

Licensed Teacher

The Art of Feminine Presence™

Author  of the Forthcoming Book

How To Live & LOVE During The Process of Divorce...

A Journey In Healing & Transformation

rhonda@HelpMeRhondaNOW.com

www.TheWellnessInstitute.tv

   

Speak Up, The World Is Listening!

Conscious Communion With Love, Sunday Service

Today I practice conscious communion with Love. I identify myself with everything that belongs to goodness, truth and beauty. I see good in everything. And So It Is!

Let's Peace the World Together

I LOVE this picture! It shows Krishna, Buddha, Mohammed, Jesus and Moses holding hands. They have hearts in their hands! 

The title of the picture is "Let's Peace the World Together."  Some of the golden threads of truth that run through all religions is Love and Peace. What a great time of year to remember to love our neighbor!

There are fundamentalists in every religion who say that their way is the only way! I cannot imagine the Buddha saying that if you were did not practice his way, you would be damned. In fact, I cannot imagine any one of them telling their followers to kill in the name of religion. Yet over the centuries, there have been many wars fought over religion.

I think it is time to stop. 

I can't change anyone else but I can change myself. I open my heart to love more than ever before. I open my ears to be a better listener, to listen to what lies behind the words, what beliefs are being shown.

And I can choose my words to be those of peace and love.

Today is the day. Let's give peace a chance. Let's peace the world together.