I am thankful for surfers, carnies, family and my spiritual community.

Hearts don't break. They just get resized.

“You happy Mama?” Kate asked me.

She had just opened the office door to find me crying. She had never seen this before … not like this.

I picked her up and held her close and said, “Yes Sweetheart, I am happy.”

And it was the truth.

I had taken the risk. What I thought would surely break me did not.

That Thursday afternoon I had heard a No, a no that I had been dreading my whole life. In fact I was so certain that hearing a “no” would destroy me that I had never dared put myself out there.

From Thursday afternoon on I was numb. By Friday I was a sloppy crying mess. By Saturday I was raging mad … my husband will confirm this. I joked that I was going through the steps of grieving quite quickly as I was already on anger.

But once I let the anger drop and I got the tears out everything got quiet.

I walked down to the trail, got my feet in the dirt, smelled the sage brush and watched the surf. Nearby on the beach a family with young children started to include Kate and I in their play. We looked at sea slugs, sand crabs and the Mom and I discussed music and kindergarten.

A pretty young girl surfer invited Kate to make a sandcastle with her. Her boyfriend joined them and they giggled as they played family in the sand. I watched the set waves come in. It was a great show.

That afternoon I went to the Carnival with Kate and my Mother-in Love to see our Fab 3 sing the Metaphyscial Hits of The Beatles. We watched Kate laugh and giggle on the rides. We both laughed and smiled. Kate’s joy was infectious and it filled me with gratitude for the love that surrounds us both.

I reached out to my community. I was in pain. I decided to try something new. The support swooped in like magic reminding me of the truth. It didn't make me feel weak. It made me feel supported and loved. By reaching out I created space to let in the support that has been surrounding me all along.

I will probably still cry about this but my tears will be of love and not regret. It feels a lot different.

"Don't fear the night time cause the monsters know that you're Divine." 

~ Michael Franti & Spearhead "Never Too Late"

How the Practice of Listening Gave Me Answers

San Onofre Water Blessing 

Have you ever been witness to a scene that just wouldn't leave your memory. This happened to me just this last week. It wasn't an unusual scene but there must have been something in it that I needed to think about.

My 7 year old nephew was over to play with Ella. It was about an hour before bedtime and we let them know that.

"But isn't Ella going to come and play at MY house" asked Dane. "Well no, not tonight."

Meltdown.

And then my articulate and insightful Ella said compassionately to her cousin "I know Dane. I know. Sometimes when I don't get things the way I want them I just don't want them at all."

Wow! I resemble that remark.

I recognized a little of myself in that statement. I had a brief impulse to correct this "immature" point of view but then I thought maybe I should explore this in my own thoughts before I jump to correct the children. I chose to listen.

I have been struggling with this in my own way. When political, economic, environmental injustices occur I feel angry, unheard and sometimes I rail against the world all in my own head. I want to be heard and there is also a part of me that wants to burn the house down.

I want to matter. I want to make things better. I want everyone to jump on board and say "YES YES YES." And they don't always do it. After all I have all the answers to MY perfect world worked out in my head.

But what I learned this week is that Spirit is always supporting us. Even when we feel like pouting children Spirit is there sending messages and love. It's so remarkable.

So, would you like to know what I have learned?

Maybe your "Divine Discontent" is pointing you to your work. 
When Ian Percy came to our center he brought this idea. Your passion is energy drawing you to the work you were meant to do. We all have a part to play. Strong emotions point us in the direction of our path.

Make Constructive Use of What You Have
And then a book popped into my life. A small book by Wallace Wattles entitled "How to Get What You Want" I didn't even know it existed even though I had read his more popular book "The Science of Getting Rich" till the book was worn and falling apart. This book brought a message I had not heard before.

"Do not reach out after more until you have life to spare after doing perfectly all that you have to do now."

We all have things to do. They are ours to do. We are given gifts and passions and it is up to us to express them. You want to move things forward then bring your best self forward. Look around you and get creative about how you can leverage all your blessings. You have so many. Honor them.

You and Now are the only point of transformation that you are ever going to have.

We mustn't fight amongst ourselves. We must find a way to work together in Unity.
And Wednesday night we received a message from a dear dear friend that Dr. Masaru Emoto author of "The Hidden Messages in Water" and Ruben Saufkie would be performing his beautiful Hopi Water Blessing for the waters at San Onofre.

Again, things didn't turn out quite how I had hoped as I ended up chasing my 2 year old around piles of stinking fly infested seaweed while the ceremony was taking place. But as I chased her around I heard loud and clear "We mustn't fight amongst ourselves. We must find a way to work together in Unity."

It must have been the message I needed.

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path...

Do not go where the path may lead,
go instead where there is no path...

Sunday is church day. I love church day, connecting with my spiritual community, spending time in prayer, meditation and spiritual growth with my peeps!  That's the way it has been for decades in my house.

Every once in a while, I find myself away from my spiritual center and look to connect with God in whatever town I find myself. Today was one of those days. Not finding a Center for  Spiritual Living in our area didn't stop my husband and I in finding a place to connect with the Infinite. We found ourselves in Snow Canyon State Park just outside St. George, Utah. 

As we embarked on what was expected to be an easy 4 mile hike I noticed all of the other hikers out finding their bliss in nature. We were following a general trail that seemed well established, but like life,  there were so many options to cut off the main path; we really had to pay attention. As you might guess, we did find ourselves on a completely different trail, at a completely different destination. And yet, what we were looking for: Peace, Nature, Beauty and God surrounded us. There were other nature enthusiasts out and about and we shared moments in passing - connecting on common ground. That experience that I love so much each Sunday at the Center for Spiritual Living Capistrano Valley I found in a different way, with a different group of spiritual seekers today in nature. 

Like the spiritual seekers that we are, my husband and I forged our own path several times today. We went off the beaten path, creating our own, and always, always we were aware of God. My Center in San Clemente is my spiritual home of choice where I connect, grow, teach, learn and engage in living my divine purpose; today I am reminded that God is everywhere, right where I am God is. And so it is. 

Balance, Balance, Balance!

 

As a parent it is easy to find life being all about the kids. When our two children were young preschoolers their father and I would strive to balance our lives around  the very important issues of sleep, play dates, parenting classes, parenting books, the parents of our kids friends, and oh, ya work! My husband and I saw each other over dinner that was consumed by baby talk, snatched moments of intimacy and looking over the heads of our sweet children who consumed our lives and the thoughts we were thinking. To save ourselves from becoming baby-maniacs we balanced our lives with becoming involved in our spiritual center. The same one we attend today, our center was a refuge for me as a young stay at home mother.

When the kids were school age, family vacations were at kid friendly places, our friends were the parents of our kids friends, our activities were the activities of our children so we were Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts and students again.  We watched "G" rated movies and spoke of the tooth fairy, how to be a friend, and who got to stay home alone while the other parent took the kids to their activities. My husband and I discovered date night and the power of a weekend away and even vacationed without the children thanks to our family and the circle of friends established in those early preschool years. Our thoughts were still consumed by our children in these years and we were well equipped with the spiritual tools that we learned at our Center to balance parenthood with our marriage. Kids and work, life and living was all the creative expression of our lives. Somehow we were able in those years to deepen our connection within our spiritual center as volunteers, and leaders. Our circle of friends were our kids friends parents and our classmates from church. We learned, along with our children, about the value and importance of our "church family". 

I look back on the teenage years with fondness - mostly because they are over! We all survived the inevitable rolling of the eyes (mine as much as theirs) demands on our time from overburdened school activities, the crazy taxi driver life, and the extreme sport of pulling away while clinging to life as it has always been.  My husband and I were involved in every aspect of our children's lives and they in ours. Balance was a matter of fitting more onto the plate of activities because surely there was room for more good in my life. I was definitely more adept at this than my husband who has always had an easier time saying no than me! During the teen age years my husband and I became licensed Practitioners here at our spiritual center. We were trained in the art and science of prayer. What a blessing to our family and ourSelves!!  The process required us to be in class one night a week for several years. Because we went through the classes together we experienced our growth together.  During the teen age years we all grew! We had a village of support that included our extended families on both sides and our church family. 

Now as parents of young adults my husband and I are still involved here at our beloved home away from home our spiritual center. We have friends here at church and in our neighborhood, from my husbands work and friends of friends. We have kept in touch with some of the parents of our children's  friends but mostly we have our own now.  Our children are our friends and we have a life outside of parenting that I never could have imagined. 

Tomorrow my husband and I celebrate our 27th wedding anniversary and when I think about how we did it I know it is balance! We consciously and sometimes unconsciously balance our lives to include God, our dreams, our passion and each other. Oh, yeah, and our kids are part of that balance too! The theme throughout our 27 years has been our spiritual community. Here we have grown in love and in age. Here, we have come to know ourselves. 

Our Sacred Covenant

Our Sacred Covenant

Today is the annual meeting at our spiritual center. It has become one of the most meaningful days of the year for me as we join together to look back at the previous year and align in consciousness with the vision cast by our Spiritual Director, Dr. Heather Clark. Whether you attend in person today or not I invite you to remember your connection with this center, to know that who you are matters, and that you are loved beyond measure. 

This year marks the 45th year of our center. I am thrilled to call it my home and to know that we are doing great work. Below is the sacred covenant that was created by our board of Trustees in 2012. Each day, when I read this I am reminded of this great work and of my many partners in living my highest expression. I invite you to join in aligning with this sacred covenant. 

SACRED COVENANT

There is only One Life!  This Life is Good!  This Life is God!  This Life is my Life now! In knowing that I am one with this Life that is God… I therefore know that I am one with each and every one of Its blessed expressions, which includes this beloved revelation called

The Center for Spiritual Living Capistrano Valley

Because I know that the highest Purpose of this Center is to glorify God, I therefore know that this Center is a revelation of God as Unity.

As I stand alone in the High Altar of Consciousness, I see this Center revealed before me as a connected growing community.

I participate in the Center in full cooperation and agreement with my beloved partners, knowing the Truth about myself for:

I am honoring the Divine in myself and all others.

I am speaking and listening as Love.

I am experiencing the value of my work.

I am knowing the joy of service.

I am staying spiritually renewed.

I am being fully supported and abundantly prospered in the fulfillment of these intentions.

I know that this Center is fully supported by the Word of God, for it is written:

“Love is a cosmic force whose sweep is irresistible.”
--- Ernest  Holmes

As I now accept the highest expression of this Center into my life, I know that it is revealed in a way that glorifies God and serves the highest and greatest good of all who are touched by its unfoldment.  I am grateful God is gracious.
So be it now!  Amen