Coming Home to Yourself

Today I noticed that I was really happy. I was not happy for a reason. I was simply grateful to be who I am, where I am and doing what I do. I found myself singing under my breath... in the back of my mind. It wasn't a profound song, but it was a joyful one. "Zippity-do-dah"  I always like to sing happy songs when I am happy. Being happy and singing are natural, normal expressions of joy! It occurred to me that I had finally come home to myself.

That may sound weird to you because it even sounded weird to me. But  when Spirit whispers Truth to you, you know it. I knew it. I was experiencing a Divine moment.

Nothing has happened or come about to cause me to feel so joyful. It was simply a natural experience of life. It is what life is supposed to feel like. It is what I have felt for the majority of  time since my spiritual awakening, forty years ago.

To tell the truth, I did not know I had not been feeling like my true self until I felt the authentic moment of being Heather Dawn Clark. I felt grateful, blessed and happy.

So now I look back and start gathering up all the clues along my path that I had been "out of my mind." I see that I have been judgmental, distrustful and fearful, mostly about myself. I realize also that I have been creating drama and playing the victim.

I apologize. It was unconscious of me.

For any of you who have been praying for me to awaken to the powerful truth within me -- thank you.

I want to live with a smile on my face and one in my heart. I have so much to be grateful for!

I want to live in gratitude and generosity... to see the world through God's eyes.

I want to stay connected to Source, remembering that it is only in my faulty thinking when I feel separated form It. I am bigger than that. You are bigger than that, too.

It also helps me to be physically active. It helps me to connect with people, ones I know and ones I don't know. For instance, today I went to the grocery store to pick up eggs. I parked and started to get out of my car. A woman was coming to get in to her car which was parked to my right. She glanced at me and I asked her if I had parked too close to her car, if she had enough room to get in. She declared that she had lots of room, that I had parked perfectly! It felt good to have a moment of connection. Earlier in the day, I had arrived at my step aerobics class to find that my step had already been set up in the spot I prefer. My friend who had done it, had then disappeared to work on some strength training. In my right place in my aerobics class, in my right place in the parking lot, and in my right place in life, God is great all the time!.

My question to you is are you at home in yourself?

Disconnection is the Root of All Violence

The beauty we see in nature is the same beauty we must know in ourselves and each other.
Photo credit: Darin R. McClure

I was really inspired by a story I read about a teacher's response to the dreadful events at Columbine. This teacher recognized that "all violence begins with disconnection." She knew that bigger problems start with smaller patterns of loneliness and isolation. Read her story here and be prepared to shed a tear or two.

Being a "Disconnection Detective," an emotional first responder begins with ourselves. As we heal our own separation by knowing and reflecting on the truth that the Divine is alive and well within each one of us and that we are created uniquely and perfectly we align ourselves with that truth and our prayers become more powerful.

We cast off our darknesses not only for ourselves but for each other. We learn to come from the heart and to see our Divine selves within ourselves and within each other. We drop the veil of separation.

It's no coincidence that our Spiritual Mind Treatment begins these two steps:

1. Recognize: Use the words you speak to acknowledge the One Creative Intelligence, Express your conviction that Spirit is all and permeates the Universe.

2. Unify: Declare that you are one with the Universe and everything that is true of the Universe is true of you because you are made of the same stuff.

and that the strength of our Recognition and Unification is the power behind our prayers.

Knowing that we are truly all one in this life and that it is a good life.

Taking Part in the Wonderful Wonderful Web of Life

We are all connected. Each of us taking part in the perfection of the whole.

One of the things about nature that always amazes me is it's infinite interconnectedness. The complex relationships betweens animals, plants, seasons, all of it, seen and unseen. How delicate, self-sustaining, ever self-correcting that balance is miraculously maintained.

If you have ever had a fish tank you learn pretty quickly that keeping an ecosystem in balance is no small feat. It takes a lot of conscious work. We've all heard of various ecological disasters that happened as a result of man trying to solve a problem by making changes to an environment and consequently throwing everything off because of his limited understanding of the interconnectedness of that environment.

It is truly a Divine Mystery.

It would go to follow that each of us is also created with that meticulous interconnected magic. Each of us different in our unique and special way. We are connected to each other, our environment, the entire world in this web of life.

Being true to our Divine nature, recognizing our gifts, honoring the gifts of others and curbing internal pollution strengthens that web of life and "all boats float higher."

I was thinking about this and how following our individual vision is far from selfish, as it strengthens and empowers all of us. Not being conscious of this truth sometimes leads to us not shining our light as strongly as we can. So I wrote this list of personal reminders to keep me on the right track and put ideas into action.

GET QUIET
“I don’t know if it’s truly inspiration or just mental chatter?” I wonder sometimes. Meditation has become a regular spiritual practice for me and at first I did think it was a bit self indulgent. I mean I have kids who seem to need something all the time. It’s like they can sense the second my full attention is not completely on them.

Taking time on a daily basis to get quiet has definitely enriched my intuitive listening. You have to turn off that television, drop the cell phone, and remove yourself from the day to day hustle and worries and not just when you feel a crisis but daily, as a practice.

If you are interested in a beginning or enriching this practice our center is hosting a fabulous meditation retreat in San Clemente January 17-19.

LISTEN AND ACT
To listen to inspiration and act upon it. You may not know why in the moment but your actions can resonate deeply throughout your web of influence. You must listen AND act, faith will grow, the muscle will strengthen.

And maybe that vertigo feeling of everything accelerating beyond my control will go away and maybe it won’t. No one said this was going to be boring.

SHARE YOUR CREATIVITY
Your creativity is your gift to the world. You may not be privy to the big picture but if you are called to create something you should create it. Divine mind LOVES having you as a creative outlet and that makes a positive difference in the world.

Acting upon inspiration is a creative selfless act which fills you with joy and strengthens the web of life. Sharing is helping others for the very reason that what is most personal is most universal. Maybe it all has been said before but it hasn’t been said by you, the way you do, at the time you do and maybe that will make all the difference for someone else.

STOP THE POLLUTION

Do you remember Smokey the Bear saying "only you can prevent forest fires?" Only we can stop our internal pollution. Stop the gossip. Stop listening to the criticisms. Judgement and criticisim real and imagined can stop us in our tracks keeping us stagnate and hurting.

When I feel criticized and judged my heart hardens and creativity drops to zero. It's not a good place. I don't want to be there and it's not good for any of us.

Give that smile, work on that forgiveness issue, be compassionate with yourself and others for we are all doing our best.

Namaste!

I am thankful for surfers, carnies, family and my spiritual community.

Hearts don't break. They just get resized.

“You happy Mama?” Kate asked me.

She had just opened the office door to find me crying. She had never seen this before … not like this.

I picked her up and held her close and said, “Yes Sweetheart, I am happy.”

And it was the truth.

I had taken the risk. What I thought would surely break me did not.

That Thursday afternoon I had heard a No, a no that I had been dreading my whole life. In fact I was so certain that hearing a “no” would destroy me that I had never dared put myself out there.

From Thursday afternoon on I was numb. By Friday I was a sloppy crying mess. By Saturday I was raging mad … my husband will confirm this. I joked that I was going through the steps of grieving quite quickly as I was already on anger.

But once I let the anger drop and I got the tears out everything got quiet.

I walked down to the trail, got my feet in the dirt, smelled the sage brush and watched the surf. Nearby on the beach a family with young children started to include Kate and I in their play. We looked at sea slugs, sand crabs and the Mom and I discussed music and kindergarten.

A pretty young girl surfer invited Kate to make a sandcastle with her. Her boyfriend joined them and they giggled as they played family in the sand. I watched the set waves come in. It was a great show.

That afternoon I went to the Carnival with Kate and my Mother-in Love to see our Fab 3 sing the Metaphyscial Hits of The Beatles. We watched Kate laugh and giggle on the rides. We both laughed and smiled. Kate’s joy was infectious and it filled me with gratitude for the love that surrounds us both.

I reached out to my community. I was in pain. I decided to try something new. The support swooped in like magic reminding me of the truth. It didn't make me feel weak. It made me feel supported and loved. By reaching out I created space to let in the support that has been surrounding me all along.

I will probably still cry about this but my tears will be of love and not regret. It feels a lot different.

"Don't fear the night time cause the monsters know that you're Divine." 

~ Michael Franti & Spearhead "Never Too Late"

Love Letters from Heaven

Right now, do you feel loved? 

Do you feel confident and  secure knowing that you are enough?
I watched the following Ted Talk today; it touched me deeply. It stimulated an idea in me.

What I hear the speaker saying is that writing love letters to strangers transformed her life, moving her out of depression into transformation. It lifted her spirits and gave her a sense of connection and belonging. She wrote them and left them places. 

It reminds me about the joy of receiving a letter from a loved one; the importance of letting people know that they are loved. I believe that it is a universal longing to connect, to be cherished and loved. Of course, spiritually we are loved by the Divine Presence and for many of us we want more.

A spiritual practice is to write a letter to yourself from God. It might go something like this: 
"Beloved One,
You are my best creation. I am so proud of you. I cherish everything about you. I cherish your successes and I cherish your so-called failures. You reflect my light so beautifully. You express all my best qualities -- love, grace, beauty, joy, compassion, intelligence and creativity. I love your physical body but more than that I love your noble spirit. Your life is my life in expression. Truly I am with you always. Life is at your feet. Your embodied desire is my command. Joyously I obey because I adore you. Save time for me every day.
With great love,
God"

Doesn't it sound like fun?
Let's do an experiment. If you would like to play, write a hand-written love letter, and send it to the Center, to my attention. Then on June 23rd, when my theme for the day is "Happily Even After" we can distribute them to anyone who wants one. let's see how much love we can generate. I will keep you posted.

Write to me:
Heather Clark
C/o Center for Spiritual Living Capistrano Valley
1201 Puerta del Sol
San Clemente, CA  92673

How Do You Cleanse Yourself?

"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people." ~Victor Borge

     I must admit, my life is very full.  Although some may call it hectic, I love all that I do and all of the people in my life. But at times I really have to stop and remember what I am doing and where I'm going next...my girls' schools, lacrosse practices, games, meetings, work, etc... Thanks to my iPhone calendar I do a pretty good job at staying on task.  Through all of the busyness and continual doings, relief is a simple and cleansing daily practice for me. My beau, my girls and I all love to LAUGH.  There's usually not an evening where we don't sit down to dinner without someone cracking a joke or telling a funny story about the day. In fact, as I am writing, I'm hearing the laughter of my daughters as they recall a past event with their cousin and aunt. Also important is that as we all laugh together, we stay connected as a family unit, and that is priceless.


"Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face."  ~Victor Hugo

     There was a time in my life when laughter was not a practice, and I was pretty much living in despair. My marriage was failing, I was financially stretched, and my light was definitely NOT shining. Time seemed to move at a snail's pace and rarely would you find me in a happy mood. As soon as my marriage was complete, my beloved sister-in-law surrounded me in her love and her presence, and wow, was that a gift! She and her family were always laughing and goofing off. The times with them were filled with belly-aching laughter and streaming tears of joy. As far as I'm concerned, ROTFLMAO was invented in her household. All of the muck and mire seemed to vanish. My time of winter became the sun that began to shine upon my face and I was healed.

 
"What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul." ~Yiddish Proverb

     As a child, when I was feeling down, I found solice in watching re-runs of "I Love Lucy," which would literally make me laugh out loud and everything was alright. I guess it was intrinsic at the time. As an adult in my darkest times, I sometimes forgot to turn to laughter, but now I realize how important it is. If I am alone and feeling overwhelmed with no one to laugh with (on rare occasion), I can turn on my television and catch an episode of my favorite TV show, "The Big Bang Theory" and instantly find something to laugh about. Or, I can read a funny book or logon to the internet and find something to chuckle about. When that happens, the stresses of the day are no longer stinking up my emotions and my consciousness and my soul is cleansed with the healing power of laughter.



     What practice do you best utilize to cleanse your soul? If you don't have one yet, try laughing. You'll be amazed at the results.  After all, as Milton Burle said, "Laughter is an instant vacation," and who couldn't use a nice vacation.  Bon voyage!

Never Too Old For An Easter Basket

Never Too Old For An Easter Basket

The week leading up to Easter my teenage daughters were dropping hints every chance they got about wanting Easter baskets. I make them baskets every year but I wasn't sure about this year.

Not only did they want Easter Baskets but they wanted to color eggs as well! My heart swelled with joy. I feel when your children hit the double digits the clock is ticking when it comes to Easter.

I'm learning to live in the moment and for this year at least Easter is saved. By that I mean I get to enjoy watching my big girls delight in traditions that they loved as little ones. I don't think I've cherished an Easter more than I have this one.

I still hear the clock ticking but I'm not going to let go of these lovely traditions easily.
They will probably get Easter baskets from me well into adulthood.

Because no one is ever too old for Easter Baskets!

When I Grow Up......

                           

When I Grow Up......

                               Last week my Grandmother turned 90 years young. Our family was not in the least bit surprised that she would celebrate this milestone birthday. Let me tell you why.

                               Born on a farm in a small town in Texas, Mary Fallwell was the second youngest in a family of six children. She had three brothers and two sisters. Her nickname was Babe. She grew up tough and learned to climb trees and anything else the boys could do.

                                Not only did Babe grow up tough but apparently she took after her Mama, as everyone called her, and has a big heart that has room for everyone. I've never seen anyone give such unconditional love to every single person she meets. Her enthusiasm for life has always been contagious. She also has quite a zest for exercise. As a teenager I loved to spend weekends at my grandparent's house. My Gran would wake me early to join her on her 2 mile power walks and honestly I could never keep up!

                               My Gran taught me some important life lessons that I will never forget.
                                Here are a few I would like to share.

•    Always give to others with no expectation back.
•    Be a gracious receiver
•    Always forgive

                               And without having to say anything she taught by modeling. She and my Grandfather enjoyed a 57 year love affaire. They definitely would have made it to 60 years but my equally amazing grandfather made his transition before that could happen.

                              She had endless patience with all of her grandchildren. I watched her joy through the years in her community service and her deep devotion to her faith and church.

                              One of my best memories out of many, with my grandmother was when we spent six weeks travelling in South Africa together. She even woke up at 4 am with me and our game guide to go trekking in the waist high bush to look for rhino. After two hours of hiking we never saw one and she never complained. Only remarking on all the beauty that surrounded us.

                              If you ever have the great fortune to meet Mary Smith you will know right away this is the woman i've been describing. She will charm you with her wide beautiful smile. And totally disarm you with the twinkle in her stunning pale blue eyes. She will make you feel like you are the most important person in the world.

                             When I grow up I want to be just like my grandmother!                

                         

Get into the Rhythm with Everything is Sound!

I discovered that family tensions seemed to run higher in the late afternoon during dinner preparations and homework.

At this month's Parent Forum, Rev. Pattie brought up the topic of creating a daily family  rhythm. Initially, I was resistant to the idea confusing rhythm with forcing a family of individuals into a set and rigid schedule. The last thing I needed was another hassle or argument trying to get the whole family to do something that wasn't necessarily required. 

But the more I sat with the idea, the more I realized what she actually meant by rhythm and really it only required me to cooperate. You see, I needed to find a daily rhythm. And when I set my own pace, swaying and moving with each little bump and bobble, I'm more at peace and centered. And, when I'm more at peace and centered, everyone around me feels it and acts accordingly. It reminds me of that saying, "If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." I realized that living to my own beat creates internal contentment which then manifests in the external world. 

And the beautiful thing about setting your own rhythm, it doesn't require any great, earth-shattering changes. I found my rhythm in a song.

Have you ever felt overwhelmed with life, then played a great song in the car or house and within seconds everything looked better, more manageable? 

Listening to Jason Mraz's music from the Love is a Four Letter Word CD provides me with a vacation from the daily ups and downs, resets my thinking and raises my vibration to joy! I found that one song in particular,  "Everything is Sound," refreshes my mind like a beautiful California spring day when you roll down the car windows, drive along the coast with music blasting and sing like no one is watching. 

In contemplating our family's need for rhythm, I discovered that tensions seem to run highest in the late afternoon and early evening when the kids are hungry waiting for dinner, stressed out over homework and overtired from a busy day. To counter the tension, I decided to put Love is a Four Letter Word on the CD player in the kitchen while I make dinner. It makes me happy. I sing, dance a little, and smile. I feel more relaxed and guess what!?! The whole atmosphere changes. Joy returns to the home. Yes, there is still homework questions and requests for a snack, but I handle them with more grace and ease. I am more present in the family dynamic and there is a whole lot less yelling. 

In the lyrics of "Everything is Sound," Mraz sings, "You don't need a vacation, when there is nothing to escape from." Isn't that so true? When we find our own rhythm and live at that tempo every moment is a song! Hallelujah!

Experience "Everything is Sound" for yourself. The lyrics are in the video so you can sing along then let me know by commenting if you feel lighter and refreshed. 

Let's All Sing...

Self Care Mary Oliver

One night this week, I was awake most of the night with what felt like glass shards in my lower abdomen. After my 8 AM conference call, I decided to go back to bed and get some more sleep. I slept until 2:30 PM, then took the rest of the day off. The next morning I was talking to a wise woman who praised me for this action. She asked me, "Do you make self-care your highest priority?" She admonished me that as a care-giver, it was really important to look after myself.

When you travel by plane, the flight attendant always reminds the passengers, "Put on your own oxygen mask first, then look after the others in your care. Indeed it makes sense for a mother travelling with small children AND it makes sense for every one of us. If we don't learn to take care of our own needs, what will we have to give? I have been a minister for a long time. I know the Principles of life really well but sometimes I don't practice as well as I could.

Maybe we all need a reminder, a cheat sheet for self care. The spiritual essentials are; prayer, meditation, tithing, serving, and learning. So do you make your spiritual time a priority? Do you love yourself enough to give yourself the first hour in every day to connect with Source? Do you take time to do things that make your heart sing? Do you know when you are depleting yourself and when you are refueling?

I know that there are ways to refuel for me. Reading a poem by Hafiz, Rumi, David Whyte or Mary Oliver will often do it for me. Listening to really beautiful music or being in the mountains will also inspire me. Relaxing in a spa also feels seductive.

When you look after your Soul, you are paying homage to the presence of God within. Do it. Plan to do it today. When you love yourself, you live in grace.

And So It Is 

Authenticity & Connection

January and February are past, but their themes, Authenticity and Connection, are still very much with me. The more I reflect on these two the more inextricably linked they become … truly the proverbial chicken and the egg.

Connection is why we are here. I heard that loud and clear from a multitude of sources this past month. And Authenticity, that desire to live as our true selves, resonates which each of us. We instinctively know we have gifts that only we can give. We know this.

“In order to experience connection we need to allow ourselves to be seen … really seen.” Authenticity at it’s finest.

So what gets in our way of experiencing these blissful states?

Fear & Shame
Shame is described by Brene Brown in the TedTalk below, “Shame is the fear of disconnection. Is there something about me that if other people know it or see it that I won’t be worthy of connection?”

I don’t like vulnerability.
I don’t like fear.
And I feel shame at the drop of a hat.

It’s something that makes me feel more fragile than a porcelain doll. And I will push away anyone who makes me feel this way, either that or indulge in my version of “a couple beers and a banana nut muffin.”

I just need that cushy bubble between me and the rest of the world.

But at the same time I am painfully aware of what Brene shared “you can’t selectively numb emotion.” You numb out vulnerability, grief, shame, fear, disappointment and you also numb out joy, gratitude, happiness, and creativity.”

The antidotes she discovered in her research:

• to let ourselves be seen 
• to love with our whole hearts 
• to practice gratitude and joy 
• to know I am enough 

And so I will be on the lookout for “Tools for Transformation” in these areas.

Cultivating a relationship





May we always be connected
in our traveling journeys.
And may you
always know
how deeply you are loved
how your life shines brightly.
And how your heart is never alone.
-The Kelly Rae Roberts Collection-


With our month theme, Connection: The lives you touch, coming to an end, I reflect on the relationship I have with my daughter.  Having a 12 year old daughter who has a great time being around her parents is such a blessing.  Having a daughter, who is also a sibling of special needs child, is also challenging.  For in that relationship, a look at her needs to "feel" special must be addressed.

Sometimes it can seem as if Autism encompasses everything, and she can take on a responsibility to always correct her 10-year-old brother's behavior.  Relieving her of that duty is a constant conversation.  However, I know there will always be some sort of responsibility she will endure.

At the beginning of the year, my "conscious" effort was to cultivate a relationship in Consciousness with my daughter.  With our bedtime prayer & meditation we grow closer in Spirit.  Whenever I find a quote or image of connection or humor, I place them in a file created on our computer. She selects some to print and places in her school locker or in her binder.  She finds a sense of peace throughout the day with these prints.  For Valentine's Day, the art piece from The Kelly Rae Roberts Collection was found in a mall gift store.  The words alone sparked a deeper conversation between us.  To delve deeper into our own thoughts, this wonderful mother-daughter journal.  Just between us: A no-stress, no-rules journal for girls and their moms by Meredith & Sophie Jacobs.  The whole section of starting the process is a great process, it's all about collaboration.  And, as suggested, I created a "special" fancy pen to write in it.  With all this cultivation we're getting ready for next month's theme, SHINE!!

Cultivating relationships through journaling.



Connections lives We Touch Now and Then

When I was a little girl I had a crush on all my uncles. I had an especially big crush on my uncle who was only two years older than me. I probably followed him round on family gatherings and giggled a lot in his presence. As far as I knew, he didn't know I existed. For many reasons, after I moved to the United States in. 1993, we lost touch.

My uncle and his wife, en route to cruise Hawaii, were in the area a couple of weeks ago. We got together for lunch. We spent a delightful time together catching up on thirty years of living!

Two surprising things I discovered were that he told his wife and friends that I was a great public speaker! That was a surprise since I was certain that he didn't know I existed. He didn't know I could talk, what's more speak in public.


Secondly, he said that he had had a big crush on me! What a shock!

Here is my point. I had a greater impact on my uncle than I ever imagined.

You are also more powerful than you now know. You are touching more lives than you can imagine. When you live from a conviction that you do matter, the world listens. You can help create a world that works for everyone simply by letting your heart light shine, see the good in people around you. Let them know that you see them, hear them and value them.

It reminds me of a story a girl cried out to God, "god, the world is in such a mess. People are broken-hearted, lonely and afraid. God, please do something!" And God replied, "I did. I sent you."

Connection: The Lives You Touch

From "Waking Life"

"Creation seems to come out of imperfection, it seems to come out of a striving ... and a frustration,and this is where I think language came from, it came from our desire to transcend our isolation and have some sort of connection with one another.

"So much of our experience is intangible So much of what we perceive cannot be expressed, it is unspeakable. And yet when we communicate with one another and we feel that we have connected, and we think that we're understood, I think we have a feeling of almost spiritual communion."

And that feeling might be transient ... but I think it's what we live for.

This month we are exploring the theme Connection: The Lives You Touch.

Feb 2 "Connect 3: Body, Mind, Spirit" Musical Guest: Jennifer Russell
Feb 10 "Sexual Tension: The Marriage of Masculine & Feminine Energy" Musical Guest: Melissa Suzanne
Feb 17 "With God as Your Carrier, You're Never Dropped" with our Celebration Choir
Feb 24 "The Web We Weave" Musical Guest: Denise Rosier

"We are not a drop in the ocean; we are the ocean in a drop." ~Rumi