Balance Found

Yoga is one of my favorite exercises. I love how my body feels after a series of poses: relaxed, energized, free.

Last year, I committed to a regular practice, going to class a few times a week. Then life got busy and yoga seemed an expensive luxury so I stopped going. I missed it, but my excuses won over.

A few weeks ago, I attended a single yoga class at the Center led by a friend of mine. The flow was gentle but afterwards my body felt sore; my muscles needed to move. I realized that no one and nothing was stopping me from rolling out my mat and moving through some poses at home. A few Sun Salutations would do me a world of good. So I started.

I thought, "what would my body and life look like if I practiced yoga daily?" I challenged myself to find a few moments every day to roll out my mat and step on it. I decided to release my attachment to the amount of dedicated time. Five, 10, or 30 minutes would qualify.

After making the commitment, the Universe jumped in to support me. A parent at my daughter's preschool, who is a yoga instructor, offered me suggestions for my practice and helped me create a wonderfully balanced flow. My husband helped me uncover ways to access the internet on my TV so I could support my practice online. And, time seems to open up when I need it the most. Often, I get a good uninterrupted 30 minutes.

Today, I'm on day 10. I feel stronger, centered and relaxed. My body moves with ease throughout the day. I breathe deeper in stressful situations and my mind is calm more often than cluttered.

I'm learning about balance, surrender and flexibility, both physically and mentally. And, mostly, I'm reminding myself that it's a practice rather than a goal or a destination.

What could you commit to today that will bring more balance to your life? What might you need to surrender in order to make room? For me, surrendering my limiting belief that yoga benefits only happen at a studio with an instructor opened up possibilities for greater physical and mental health and balance.

Balance is Natural To Those Who Know Their Perfect Wholeness

Our Natural State of Being

Our daily journal today is entitled Balance. In it the authors write on this day: 

"Spirituality is as strong as it is soft.There is a place for power and for surrender in your spirituality. Do not be fooled. Strength is required to say YES to our dreams and NO to our dysfunction.Unleash the power of Spirit as you!Let it flow through you and be the core of strength within you. "

Then they ask: "Where do you need to stand strong and firm in your life?Where do you need to practice flowing and yielding?" 

 Today I was gently reminded that it would be good for me to release some tasks so that Spirit could flow through me more easily. When I discussed this idea with my sounding board, Rev. Pattie Mercado, she suggested that I make a list of things I do in a week; then look  to see if there are tasks that don't need to be done by me. My first response was, "I don't have time for one more thing." 

Really? Even if that one more thing would not only help you but also would help our Center? What am I resisting? It could be that my day is filled with the urgent and unimportant rather than the important. 

The next question I ask myself is "Who arranges your day?" The answer is "I do!"

In that case, I likely have time to diarize my activities. I have time to evaluate each one to see if it essential and important or if it is reactionary and unimportant.

Synonyms for dysfunctional include flawed, broken, decayed, defective,unfit and sick. These words do NOT correspond favorably to someone who knows her oneness with Perfect Wholeness, Divine Mind and Perfect Love. I feel dysfunctional when I am reacting to situations rather than directing mt attention to Source.

So what practices could I embrace in order to have a greater experience of Wholeness in my life? I could relax with a perfect cup of tea and contemplate my unity with source. I could look lovingly at how I spend the precious moments and hours in my day. I could delegate tasks that do not need to be mine to someone else. 

When I put my attention on the Truth of my being such as Perfect Wholeness all pressures to "measure up" are released. To what could the Source of all Life, compare Itself ?

Where is the Balance in Moving?!

Where is the Balance in Moving?!

The height of the boxes almost cover the windows. Newspapers swallow up the dinning room table. "Where is this, where is that?" The family yells. Every time I turn a corner dust bunnies the size of tennis balls are lying in wait to pounce on me.

This chaotic picture I'm painting is the preparation for moving house.

I come from a long line of women who are clean freaks. I kid you not, you could have a full meal at my grandmother's house and use the floor as your plate. In fact her floors are cleaner than your plates!

Every Saturday morning while growing up with my single mom it was a ritual to take the whole day and scrub the house from top to bottom. Because who knew if someone would just pop in unannounced. I equate it to having clean underwear on in case you get into a car accident. WHO CARES!!

As I grew older this obsession of cleanliness of theirs became absurd to me. Yet I was beginning to develop the same characteristics of this obsession.

As a newly wed I remember putting my poor new husband through the same Saturday ritual. When my children came along I couldn't function very well outside my home if I knew that I had left it dirty.

I always used to joke and secretly dread about us having to move one day. The pinnacle of messy and unorganized. Just thinking about it made my blood pressure rise.

Well here we are. Moving. All my worst fears have come true. Or so I thought. Having a few Science of Mind classes under my belt gave me some tools to cope.

Nowadays I'd rather spend the day at the beach with my kids than have a clean house. My life is temporarily in chaos and I know there will be an end. If someone happens to stop by unexpectedly and my house is a mess and they judge me for that, well, too bad for them. I'm still an ok person.

When I die I don't want to only be remembered for a clean house. There is no balance in moving. At all.

Life is messy. Don't be afraid of getting your hands dirty once in awhile. Go to the beach instead!

Letting Go With Balance Meditation

I marked the chapter "Letting Go With Balance"
in my new book "The Joy of Meditation."

"The Joy of Meditation" by Jack & Cornelia Addington finally arrived. I have wanted to read this book ever since I spotted it on the "Meditation is More Than You Think" course syllabus.

Just as I suspected, the book did not disappoint and I read it all the way through in a day by slipping it into my purse and using every spare opportunity to read it. It was an exciting read for me as I 'heard' new information concerning meditation.

New Meditation Take Aways

Meditation is not a time to ponder your problems but a time to connect to source.

Meditation is a letting go, a listening for what is already there.

Answers deriving from meditation do not necessarily arrive during meditation.


Letting Go With Balance

There is one meditation that holds big promises. "This is a meditation that is apt to mark a turning point in your life. It could provide you with a dramatic spiritual experience everything you use it." I would recommend you read this chapter (and the book for that matter) in its entirety but here is a synopsis so you can get the general idea.

Part 1 - The Release

"I am letting go with balance."

"So, with a feeling of perfect balance, trusting in the Power within, we are going to let go of every problem. And now, we individualize our meditation by taking our worriesome thoughts, our uneasy feelings, our fears and misgiving, and letting them go with balance."

The inner dialogue would list everything, punctuating each item with "letting go with balance" until you have exhausted the list.

Part 2 - The Accepting

The mantra is "God is able." Repeating the prior list, but by prefacing the statement with "God is able ..."

And another "aha moment" for me came when I read this passage:

"You do not have to relate the God is able to your outer affairs. The quotation is to be used as a mantra until you feel the Power stirring within you." I think in prior meditations, especially guided meditations, I have felt the need to imagine solutions on the spot or to search for something specific instead of allowing the experience to unfold.

I highly recommend this book to anyone curious about meditation.

"The Joy of Meditation" is available at Amazon.com. If you use the following link a portion of the purchase goes to the Center for Spiritual Living Capistrano Valley at no cost to you.

The Poised Perspective

In my busy family life, often times balance seems like a myth or a fairy tale. As I race from one school to the next or try to listen to three children talking at once ALL wanting to be heard over the other, I feel like the woman in the old Calgon commercial voicing..."Calgon...take me away." In that moment, I want to escape my life for a little peace and quiet. I tell myself, I really need to find some balance, like that would solve all my problems.

In the Science of Mind text book, Ernest Holmes doesn't even have a definition for balance. Instead, he defines poise. Poise is a synonym for balance but for me conjures up a very different picture in my mind. Say the word balance and I picture a tightrope walker, tense and focused, making each step count so as not to fall. Or I envision a scale, adding and taking away activities to create an even spread of my time and attention. On the other hand, when I think of poise, I think of a way of being or a graceful person, calm and centered, moving with ease.

I've thought a lot about balance this month and I have discovered that the internal sense of poise is really where I want to put my attention. What I know is that creating my life is an inside job. How I feel and think creates my perceptions. My perceptions in turn create my reality.

With a new awareness of poise, I find myself praying more and not one of those throw-your-hands-in-the-air "So help me God!" kind of prayers. But rather an affirmative prayer that starts with a deep breath and recognizes right where I am is all good and all God. I've also found the perspective to be grateful for the fiery daughter who knows her own mind or the bountiful life that affords us all of our activities and the car that gets us there and back. I have also been more mindful of my choices, knowing that I am the creator of my experience.

Being poised is a practice, a daily opportunity. I invite you to consider poise and see if it offers you a new perspective on life.

Can you spare a little change?

Working from the core to balance change 

The theme of the month at the Center for Spiritual Living, Capistrano Valley is Balance: Working from the core.  In deep, Spiritual unfoldment, we may work to keep our bearings straight, to recalibrate & to get to a place of balance. 

What I find interesting is how some of us make a choice to embark on a Spiritual journey and sometimes don't look back to reflect on what we have accomplished.  Some of us start on this journey with a deep sense of regret, a distrust of belief or a skepticism that is accompanied with a chip on our shoulder.  We have a sense of, "I'll believe it when I see it" mentality.  And then, we start to lighten our load, we start to see things in a different manner.  We start to even out the scale by dumping some of our old beliefs & thoughts. When we come to this part of our journey, it is good to look back at where we began.

I remember a time where de-cluttering was necessary, I happened upon some old journals and old recommended reading books.  What I noticed in my journal was interesting.  I read passages in the journal that I didn't recognize.  I really didn't remember writing the words on the page.  What was really interesting about the words were that they were very profound.  I was surprised on the depth that was contained in the pages.  What I realized is that, even if you are sometimes wearing a mask, Truth is still lighting your Soul. Circumstances may have led to me to a place when I piled heart-hardening layers on top, but deep-down, the knowing and trusting of Truth was still inside.  So I honored the me that was on the journey at that space in time.  I recognized the work that was necessary to bring to a place of balance in Mind, Body and Spirit.

In regards to the old recommended reading books, another interesting discovery.  I noticed sentences highlighted on many of the pages.  I read those passages and couldn't figure out why I found that particular sentence of importance.  In fact, I found other non-highlighted sentences even more worthy of my attention.  Again, on my journey at that time, this was most important during my Spiritual growth and now it's changed.  To this day, I've given up highlighting books.

So in our time of Spiritual growth, remember each step is a little change.  When you take the move to the next stepping stone a recalibration to balance occurs.  Once steady you can move on to the next stepping stone.  This continues over the course of growth until one day you look back and don't even recognize the image of the person on the first stone.  This person that was so certain to be right in their thinking has shifted.  Honor the person who you were at that time and the one who has evolved to this time.  Allow yourself to move at the pace that was meant for you.  Remember not to criticize your own growth, just spare yourself a little change.

A Rock Tower Crumbles and Teaches a Major Life Lesson on Balance

I sat on the beach basking in the warm, spring sun.

My five year old collected rocks.

Beautiful rocks.  Black ones. Flat ones. Round ones.

They caught my attention and I decided to stack them like the cool rock towers I see when I Google images of "rock towers."

The first few minutes of stacking them became harder than I thought.  I'd get four or five stacked and they would tumble.  I'd start again, and then... ...the tumble.

It took me much longer than I expected to get 7 stacked, but I was proud of the work I had put into it.  As I laid down in front of my rock tower to take a picture with the ocean behind it, my five year old threw a big rock and tumbled the whole tower.

I gave him an exasperated, "Duuuuuuude!!!"

He sat down to cry knowing how hard I had worked.

After we made up and I assured him I wasn't mad, I started the stacking again.

It took me even longer to re-stack the 7 rocks, but I finally succeed and snapped the picture above.

Then it dawned on me...

This month's topic at CSLCV is "Balance!"...what can I learn from the rock tower?

Here's what came to me:

It took me time to find the balance of the rocks that allowed them to be solid enough to create the foundation for the next rock.

The tower tumbled at one point.

I re-stacked it to create the balance again and it took awareness to DECIDE to do it again.

I became aware that, in order to create something as beautiful as I had done, I'd have to start all over. 

I became aware of how each rock precisely balanced just the right way on top of the other.

I realized that finding balance in our own lives takes awareness.

It takes awareness of knowing when we are out of balance, and tapping back into the tools we have to get ourselves back into balance.

These tools being meditation, journaling, soul rejuvenation hours (one hour a day taken only for us!), reading a good book.  These are tools that have transformed my life and have given me more balance in it.  

Finding balance takes concentration and awareness.  

Yes, balance in life is possible, but it starts with a decision.

Decide today to be balanced.  Take the intricate steps necessary to create it.  Be aware when it "tumbles" and "stack" your tools until you find balance again.  

Balance, Balance, Balance!

 

As a parent it is easy to find life being all about the kids. When our two children were young preschoolers their father and I would strive to balance our lives around  the very important issues of sleep, play dates, parenting classes, parenting books, the parents of our kids friends, and oh, ya work! My husband and I saw each other over dinner that was consumed by baby talk, snatched moments of intimacy and looking over the heads of our sweet children who consumed our lives and the thoughts we were thinking. To save ourselves from becoming baby-maniacs we balanced our lives with becoming involved in our spiritual center. The same one we attend today, our center was a refuge for me as a young stay at home mother.

When the kids were school age, family vacations were at kid friendly places, our friends were the parents of our kids friends, our activities were the activities of our children so we were Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts and students again.  We watched "G" rated movies and spoke of the tooth fairy, how to be a friend, and who got to stay home alone while the other parent took the kids to their activities. My husband and I discovered date night and the power of a weekend away and even vacationed without the children thanks to our family and the circle of friends established in those early preschool years. Our thoughts were still consumed by our children in these years and we were well equipped with the spiritual tools that we learned at our Center to balance parenthood with our marriage. Kids and work, life and living was all the creative expression of our lives. Somehow we were able in those years to deepen our connection within our spiritual center as volunteers, and leaders. Our circle of friends were our kids friends parents and our classmates from church. We learned, along with our children, about the value and importance of our "church family". 

I look back on the teenage years with fondness - mostly because they are over! We all survived the inevitable rolling of the eyes (mine as much as theirs) demands on our time from overburdened school activities, the crazy taxi driver life, and the extreme sport of pulling away while clinging to life as it has always been.  My husband and I were involved in every aspect of our children's lives and they in ours. Balance was a matter of fitting more onto the plate of activities because surely there was room for more good in my life. I was definitely more adept at this than my husband who has always had an easier time saying no than me! During the teen age years my husband and I became licensed Practitioners here at our spiritual center. We were trained in the art and science of prayer. What a blessing to our family and ourSelves!!  The process required us to be in class one night a week for several years. Because we went through the classes together we experienced our growth together.  During the teen age years we all grew! We had a village of support that included our extended families on both sides and our church family. 

Now as parents of young adults my husband and I are still involved here at our beloved home away from home our spiritual center. We have friends here at church and in our neighborhood, from my husbands work and friends of friends. We have kept in touch with some of the parents of our children's  friends but mostly we have our own now.  Our children are our friends and we have a life outside of parenting that I never could have imagined. 

Tomorrow my husband and I celebrate our 27th wedding anniversary and when I think about how we did it I know it is balance! We consciously and sometimes unconsciously balance our lives to include God, our dreams, our passion and each other. Oh, yeah, and our kids are part of that balance too! The theme throughout our 27 years has been our spiritual community. Here we have grown in love and in age. Here, we have come to know ourselves. 

The Teeter Totter of Life

This month's theme of Balance at our center came at a perfect time in our families' life.
We are in the process of moving and looking for a new place to live, staying in the same town.

Our two girls are old enough to have a say, or an opinion at least. Which makes things even more difficult. One night after dinner we practiced Science of Mind by putting in our "order" to the Universe. On a piece of paper we wrote down specifically what we wanted our new house to look like and how it would fulfill our needs. We left one thing out. Location.

That's when you-know-what hit the fan. My husband and I figured we would make our search wide and look all over town. House hunting can be so depressing. Sometimes I really don't want to know how my fellow man or woman lives. As our search continued I noticed that old familiar voice inside my head trying to convince me that this ordering from the Universe is pie in the sky. I had to do a quick check in with my dear friends Reverend Pattie and Juli.

Back on track. Except that the 15-year-old wants an old funky beach cottage so she can walk to the beach and surf everyday. No matter that the 1960's kitchen oven was the size of my kids' Easy Bake Oven when they were little.

The 12-year-old wants to be in Rancho SC so she can be close to her friends and school.

It got to a point where one or the other kid wouldn't look at a house based on its location.

My husband is easy and tends to lean to wherever everybody is happy.

So here I am not even thinking of my needs and trying so hard to do the impossible by trying to please everyone else.

I did Affirmative Prayer everyday. And kept the faith. But I still felt very unbalanced. My teeter totter of emotions wouldn't stop. The message Dr Heather gave today reminded me to Bend At My Knees and once I'm physically balanced then I may attain Spiritual Balance.

I'm happy to report that we did find our perfect family home. It may not be in the location that one of the girls wanted but ultimately everyone is happy. You know what? The location and everything about the house suits mine and my husbands needs perfectly so at the end of the day I also learned to Balance and Center myself and remember that my needs are important too. Because you know how the old saying goes, "If mom is happy then everyone is happy!"

How is the Balance in your life? Are you remembering to Bend at the Knees?

Balance: Moving From Overwhelmed to Empowered

Balance: Moving From Overwhelmed to Empowered

This month’s theme at the Center is Balance. I’m looking forward to hear what insights Dr. Heather has to share on the topic.

I have to confess, that the word itself conjures feelings of inadequacy in me. I know it shouldn’t. In fact, its intent is just the opposite. But the fact is that I have chased the idea of balance for years, and it has proved even more elusive than finding an extra hour to squeeze in a pedicure. I suppose those feelings come with the territory. After all, as the busy mother of three active children, there isn’t a lot of time left over at the end of the day for introspection. It is easy to let myself become overwhelmed by the activities and demands of the life that I have chosen, but the thing is, when I do pause to stop and think about it, I come face-to-face with the fact that I am at choice. I also realize that there is nothing inadequate about me.

I chose to stay with my three wonderful children. I wouldn’t change that for anything. It has been the greatest experience of my life. It means fewer vacations and older cars, but it also means never having to miss a swim meet, water polo game or school function.  

I also chose to volunteer for numerous organizations, but they all have meaning for me and my family. It is a matter of setting priorities. Most of the activities I participate in directly benefit one or more of my children. This has become my litmus test:  when given the opportunity to help, I ask myself how my involvement will benefit my family. If I don’t see the benefit, I let the opportunity pass, knowing that there is someone better suited for it.  

Perhaps one of the best tools in my quest for balance is talking with other mothers. As we share our stories, I am reminded that each of us is a work in progress. One of the best places to share those stories is at the Center’s monthly Parent Forum. Facilitated by Rev Pattie Mercado, the Parent Forum meets from 11:30-1pm on the first Thursday of each month.  Not only do the monthly topics generate insightful discussions, but there is something very empowering about knowing there are others who have made similar choices, who grapple with similar issues, and who I can clearly see are excellent parents. I am reminded that I am a really good parent, too.