Summer of Winter

" During Winter it is Summer underneath the surface of the earth. And it is this Summer under the surface of the earth in the Winter time that makes the roots of the plants to thrive."   Alicia Hamberg

In our journal we are asked to consider what happens in winter. Are you taking time to deepen your roots, your connection to Source? These are the roots that help you grow.

How will you create fallow time in which your roots grow stronger?

Both my nephews in Saskatchewan are farmers. They are very aware of what is needed to ensure a healthy harvest.Occasionally they will plant winter wheat, a variety of wheat planted in the fall, allowed to germinate and grow young plants. the plants stay in that vegetative state until spring, when they continue growing to maturity. 

I think it must have taken a great deal of faith to believe that those tender plants would survive the long, cold Saskatchewan winter.

Do we have faith enough in our beingness that we know that even in the hardest, coldest  and barren of times that something within us is strengthening us?

What would it take to build that consciousness?

I believe it takes persistence and practice. It takes the willingness to get up, dust yourself off and start all over again.It requires a personal connection with the Divine by which any name you call It/Him/Her.

You are ready to grow spiritually and you will remember God is all you need in every situation.

My sister Kathy and her son, Jeff Hoiness

What Do You Give a Great Spirit Who Already Has Everything?

The Joyous Living Journal 

"Spirit has given you the greatest gift; it is the gift of your life.  What you make of it is the gift you give back to Spirit!"

This is the first sentence I read on January 2 in the Joyous Living Journal, our reading for 2014.

Pretty powerful words, aren't they?

I have always understood my life being a gift.

But what these words made me contemplate was that what I make of my life is a gift BACK to Spirit.

That isn't an idea that has ever become present to me and, for some reason, it packed a punch.

Am I making my life into a gift back to spirit?

My answer brought peace to my heart and a smile to my face.

If I would have been presented with this same question six years ago, the question would have brought sadness and maybe even anger.

Six years ago,  I certainly wasn't making my  life into something I would have viewed as a gift back to Spirit.

I was living for other people.  Doing what I thought would make others happy.  I was working a job I hated.  I was "buying" a life so, on the outside, my life looked happy and successful.

But, I was so sad and so unfulfilled on the inside.

It took a major, and heartbreaking, life event for me to take a true, honest look at my life and from what I saw, things needed to change.

Change they did and as I contemplated this idea in my morning reading six years later, I was pleasantly surprised by my answer.

I am living a life, that I believe is a gift to Spirit, and, it's getting more and more of a gift every day.

Why?

Because six years ago, I started living for ME...not from a selfish standpoint, but from the place of living from my inner Spirit.

That part of Spirit that lives within me.

I dedicated myself to being One with it and following the thread of joy everyday...not someone else's joy, not even my kids' joy, but mine.

It took me some time to get to that place.

As they say, it's a journey!

And, a journey it certainly has been!

Following my heartbreaking life event, I had to heal first.

I had to forgive.

I had to decide to live differently.

I had to  decide to let go of everyone else's happiness and choose my own.

I had to decide  to let the old me (and all her beliefs, paradigms, and thoughts) die and allow my soul to emerge from the dark depths I had buried it to.

...as my soul emerged,  I had to step aside and allow Spirit to express Itself through me  and as a result, I have found peace and more joy within than I have ever known.

The results of my spiritual emergence is still unfolding, but I can definitively say that I am a better mom because of it.  I'm a better person because of it, and I am certainly living as if my life is the gift I know it to be.

And because of that, I am making my life into a life that I know is a gift back to Spirit.

For that, I am living in joy!

Already two days in to 2014, and working through this daily "Joyous Living" Journal, I feel pretty certain that 2014 will be the best gift I have to give back to Spirit!

###

What about you?  Contemplate the words:  "Spirit has given you the greatest gift; it is the gift of your life.  What you make of it is the gift you give back to Spirit!"

Are you making your life into a gift that Spirit would be proud of?

No matter what your answer is, every day is an opportunity to decide to live life and give your gift back to Spirit!

A Small Home With an Amazing View - What This Dream Really Meant

Live in that small, cozy home with the amazing
view, and your life will expand by leaps
and bounds. 

My home was very small, but as I showed it to friends, I was so proud of it.  

I would take them out to the outdoor deck and show them the breathtaking view.

It always inspired a breathless, "Wow."

The important part of this process was how I felt.

Proud.  At peace and very much in harmony with life.  

That was my dream, and being one who is an avid journaler, I write out my dreams and allow a stream of consciousness to help me interpret them.  The most important part of journaling dreams, I have found, is paying attention to the emotions that it evokes. 

What came in my journaling session was a whole new lesson on practicing the presence...being in the now.

Not a surprise since I am currently taking the Inner Journey class with Dr. Heather and our focus now is practicing the presence of God at every moment, of every day.

The way in which this lesson was communicated with me through this dream was interesting, however.

A small home that had an amazing view.  The peace and harmony I felt about it.

One might think it symbolized a home that I desired or maybe the desire for a nice view from my physical home. 

What came in my stream of consciousness was that this dream did not symbolize a physical home, but my inner home....

...That small space within, that when lived in, brings peace, pride and harmony.

The dream was a message from that One Power that lives within all of us to remember to be in that space, that home, at all times.

It was a reminder that when I find myself not feeling peace, pride and harmony to notice where "I'm living."  

When I have feelings outside of those three, I am living outside in the space of chaos and confusion. 

It's cold.

I'm homeless.

When I find myself homeless, I can easily step back into my warm, small cozy home with the amazing view.

I can change my perspective at any time.

This was a gentle reminder to me of the importance of the present moment.

As a result of this intense Inner Journey class, I am raising my awareness to the present moment.

As long as I am present, I am home.

When I am at home, I feel pride, peace and harmony.

There is never any reason to leave our true home...allow my dream to be a reminder to you to find your peaceful home with an amazing view.

###

I would like to hear from you.  How do you interpret your dreams?  Do you ignore them when you awaken thinking they are figments of your imagination?  Or, do you recognize them as messages from God directing you in your life?  

Share in the comments below any dreams that have deeply impacted your life....when one leaves an impression, dreams will become a distinctive event in your daily life.  

They truly are your conversation with God. 

To Hell with Forgiveness, Hold a Grudge!

A shameless plug? Maybe.
A prime example of what forgiveness can do?
Definitely.

Sometimes the thought of forgiving someone who hurt you may make you want to throw up.

Why should I forgive him/her?  She hurt/wronged/betrayed/scarred me for life!  I will NEVER forgive, you might think.

For the month of October, Dr. Heather is leading a workshop-based Sunday service called the Commitment Experiment.

Each week, we explore principles that are catalysts to a Divinely-inspired, abundant life.

This past week we focused on forgiveness.

I was taken back to a time in my  life, only 5 short years ago, when I was faced with a devastating betrayal.

It hurt like nothing I had ever felt before.

The image was seared into my mind.  I thought I'd never get rid of it.

Only days later, I was almost watching myself, as if I was an observer, as I was Divinely Guided to see my part in that devastating moment in my life.

As the days, weeks and months went on, I worked to heal myself.

What I realize I was doing was, instead of healing, I was going through the phases of forgiveness.

Only last year, was I so comfortable with that experience in my life, that I decided to write a book about it.

This post isn't about promoting my book, but it's about the transformational catalyst that ONE, devastating night was, and how I didn't think I'd survive it with my family in tact.

Five years, almost exactly, after this event, I look back on that time as a pivotal shift in my life....for the better!

The process of forgiveness brought me closer to God.  

I was not in a consciousness to heal myself, or even forgive.

No one could have taught me the right way to forgive or to heal...

...except the one Infinite Intelligence that KNEW how to teach forgiveness and healing from within.

What I have come to realize is that no book, no person, or no workshop can teach forgiveness. 

It must come from within and it is guided by a Love that loves like no other.

When we co-create forgiveness with God, we co-create a different path for our lives, we become healers, and we become more evolved than we were prior to the event.

Holding a grudge for all this time would only hurt me.

It would hurt me emotionally, which would lead to energy being "clogged" up in my Chakra energy centers, which would eventually lead to physical pain of some kind.

I had a choice to cling to the hurt and betrayal, or to forgive with Spirit's help.

I chose the later and I will say,

...Forgiveness put me on my life path, it allowed me to reinvent my life altogether, it allowed me to let go of a past that no longer exists and create a whole new present moment.

What can forgiving lead you to?

The possibilities are endless. 

What if you simply let all the anger, hurt, resentment, etc. go.

How different would your life be?  How would it feel?

You can do it.  You have the choice.

Forgive? Or hold a grudge?

The saying, "Be the better person," to me, comes from the ego.

Don't be a better person to feel better than the person, institution, or organization who wronged you, be the better person by choosing to forgive and truly becoming a better person.

###

Learn more transformational principles by joining us this Sunday for the third installment of the Commitment Experiment. 

The Gift of Death

I speak to dead people... 

...and so can you if you don't yet. 

Gramps with my dad (right), me (left), and my two boys
(top left)

This morning I spoke to my grandfather, Gramps, who passed away in the early morning hours. 

Only hours after he passed, you'd think his soul would be busy in "soul orientation" figuring out where he goes and what he does as a soul. 

I have to admit, though, before this amazing experience I'm about to share with you, I did have thoughts of grief and sadness about his death. 

He passed? So soon? He just drove cross-country from Pennsylvania to LA six months ago to visit my dad!   He was just diagnosed with cancer a short time after that....how'd he die so quickly? 

I was filled with sadness. 

Sadness that I hadn't lived in the same town, or state for that matter, as gramps in over 20 years and I had only seen him a couple of times in those 20 years. 

Sadness that I wasn't there for my family who took care of him during his last few days. 

Grief that I didn't express my love for him when I saw him a few weeks ago when he was still

This was the sun shining on the
beach the day Gramps passed.

"Gramps" in my book...laughing with us as we ate lunch, raving over Gram's homemade relish, and giggling as Gram had to yell in Gramp's ear 13 times because he couldn't hear a word she said...

...then wondering if he really did hear her, but chose not to. 

 As I sat quietly in my living room with a cup of tea, the house quiet now that my boys were in school, I cried, and then remembered the spiritual tools I have to turn to in order to come to peace with Gramp's passing. 

I said a prayer for my family who I know are in their own grieving process. 

Then, in a silent, grounded moment, I remembered that, although, Gramps in his physical body, was in Morgantown, Pennsylvania before he passed, he is now an infinite soul capable of  being anywhere, at anytime, with anyone. 

He could be with me, and Gram, and my aunt Polly, and my dad and all the rest of us who are grieving all at the same time. 

So, I decided to reach out to his soul. 

I simply said, Gramps, I love you.  I know you are experiencing the peace of being free. Your soul is available to do more work than you were able to do here on Earth and I have no doubts you are laughing with joy.  That said, I want to know you're with me in Spirit...I ask for a sign. 

Before I get to the juicy part, let me preface it by saying that, in my family, we each have a special symbol that represents a sign that we are getting a hug from the Universe.  

Mine is a rainbow, so when we see a rainbow in the sky, or on a t-shirt, or in a magazine, etc., we say, "Oh, look! I'm getting a hug!" 

 It's an awareness practice for my family to periodically be reminded that we are always loved.  It's a great little game and ALWAYS exciting when we see our different symbols in the forms we see them. 

Now, on to the good stuff... I went about my morning, and then had to leave the house a short time later for a meeting. I got into my car and, being a creature of habit, put on the Donovan Frankenreiter station on Pandora.  

It's one of my favorites. 

If you know anything about Pandora, when you listen to a station for any period of time, the songs repeat themselves and you hear many of the songs over time. 

But as I put the car in drive, the melody of a song came on that I did not recognize.  Mind you, this was the FIRST song I heard when I got into the car. 

I thought, Huh, that's a nice melody, but I don't recognize it.   

I looked at the screen on my car and guess what the name of the song was?!?!!? RAINBOW!

Holy, sh*t!  I thought, thanks, Gramps!   

But then the words started and I couldn't help but feel so peaceful because he not only chose a song named after my special symbol, but with a message that went much deeper:

Well, I woke up this morning, a rainbow filled the sky.

Yes, I woke up this morning, rainbow filled the sky.

That was God telling me, everything's gonna be alright.

Well, so long good friends, when will we meet again?

Said, so long good friends, when will we meet again?

Well, I don't know, I don't know, but I guess I'll see you then...

(here's a quick video of the artist, G Love singing it with Jack Johnson and Donovan Frankenreiter...)

There couldn't have been a better song to be blessed with.

I felt my grief lift, a big smile spread across my face and iTunes got my $1.29 because I purchased the song right away to remember this sacred moment forever.

Some will read this and think, "She's crazy....that's just a coincidence."

Is it?

We are allowed our own perceptions of what happens after death, but I believe that Gramps heard my request for a sign.

I believe his soul was giving me a hug with the rainbow, and telling me he was alright and he'd see me when it's my time to do my work as a soul.

What I realized as I drove was how awesome death can be when we choose to see it that way.

You see, physically living 3,000 miles away from Gramps made it hard for me to see him and speak to him.

But in death, he's closer to me than I could ever imagine.  He's right here with me as I write this post, he was there with me laughing as I realized his sign and yelled, "Thank you, Gramps!!!"

And, he'll be with me in times I need guidance or comfort and ask for his assistance.

It's my belief that souls are just as pivotal to our human existence as those who are alive and well.

They have abilities we don't have as humans and can deliver to us what we need that humans can't.  

Things like a sense of peace or love when we are in our darkest hours, or guidance on which way to turn if we are lost, or  simply someone to send us the perfect song at the perfect time.

When we ask for the assistance of those who have passed, and are open to how that assistance will come, we can "speak" to our loved ones long after their physical body dies.

I wanted to honor Gramps with my boys today.

So, after my experience, I knew what we'd do.

I picked my boys up from school, we painted six rocks, each with a color of the rainbow and wrote on

Our rainbow rocks marked with the
qualities of God that Gramps was in
his physical life and that he is
now as our soul angel.

them the qualities of God that Gramps embodied in his human life and now as our soulful angel:

Peace, Love, Joy, Beauty, Wisdom and Power.

It's a reminder of the infinite nature that is all of us in physical form and in our spirit form.

We took the rocks to the beach and mindfully and peacefully thought a happy thought and threw our rocks into the ocean.

I chose the ocean because it's the most infinite thing

Rainbow Rocks

I could think of in physical form....think of how many droplets make up our oceans, and that's about as close as I could get to infinite.

Knowing that Gramps is now infinite in his own power, we gave our honorary rocks to the infinite ocean in remembrance of Gramps.

If they are taken out to sea by the movement of the ocean, then they, too will live an infinite life like Gramps.

If they wash ashore for someone to find and receive a reminder of their own quality of God that they,

Each of us honored Gramps in our own way before
throwing our rocks. 

too, are imbued with, then Gramp's is still blessing someone with his presence in the rainbow rocks.

What started out as a sad day, turned into an amazing experience of what death is really all about.

It's about someone moving on to their next "assignment" from a soul level.  If today is any indication of Gramp's abilities as a soul on his first day of "work," then I think we are all blessed by his passing because he is teaching us what he can from where he is.

Gramps, you are SO loved, you will be missed, and I ask that you bless all your family with the blessing you gave to me today.  

You will always be a rainbow of joy in my mind.

Namaste.

How Michael Myers (the serial killer in the infamous Halloween movies) Almost Kept Me From Meditating

One of 108 individual prayer wheels
surrounding the 12 massive prayer
wheels. 

Last week I returned from a trip to Northern California.

I was visiting my mom and stepdad's new home in the mountains....DEEP in the mountains!

One hour from Redding, 12 miles from the nearest town, I found myself experiencing the most profound spiritual experience being in nature and completely disconnected from technology.

My mom picked up every tourist magazine in the area and I saw an ad for the Chugdud Buddhist Retreat Center about 45 minutes away...again, DEEP in the mountains!

They offered a 5:30 a.m. meditation and I had a silent whisper from my intuition, what I call my inner Soul Mama, that I needed to go and experience it.

So, I set my alarm for 4 a.m., got ready, and then panicked at the thought of having to walk from the house to my car in the PITCH BLACK.

I mean, living in cities for most of my adult life, I forgot how black it got outside.

I kept thinking, what are you so afraid of, Vidette?

Michael Myers!! I'd answer.

I watched the Halloween movies WAY younger than I should have when my older cousins locked me in my grandparents' living room and wouldn't let me leave until I watched the whole horror movie...the music still makes me want to hide under a pillow to think about it.

My irrational thinking was getting the best of me and I was CONVINCED he was waiting in the woods ready to cut me into pieces when I left the house.

Yes, a git gorey for a spiritual blog, but stick with me here.

After running faster than Usain Bolt running the 100 m sprint, I made it to my car and surprisingly, outwitting Michael Myers himself!

As I tried to keep my racing heart from jumping out of my chest, I drove up and down the long driveway, where, when I got to the road, sh*t, I thought! Why the hell is the gate closed?

The gate that I never noticed because it was always open, is now shut, and I have two options:

 1.  Get out and open the gate and risk giving Michael Myers a second opportunity to get me, or

2.  Back the hell up and go back to bed; However, with the steepness and windiness of the driveway, that option seemed worse. 

So, I got out ran like hell to the gate, pushed that gate open so fast, and ran to my car with a deep breath. 

  Phew! Ha-ha, Michael Myers!  You didn't get ME!! 

 On the 45 minute drive to the retreat center, every thought that could go through my mind did go through my mind.... 

What if these people aren't Buddhist at all? What if they put the front on like they are to attract naiive people like me who drive out there at 5:30 a.m. and then behead their guests never to be found again?

What if I break down? My phone doesn't work here.  No one knows where I am.  I'll be stranded in the middle of no where and will only hope to remember nuggets of information learned from watching Bear Grylls traipse around in mountains, forests, and deserts on TV. 

Oh, shit....what was I thinking?  

All to meditate?  

I can do that at home and not be risking my life! I can't turn back now!  That would be crazy! ...or would it? 

After all this, I arrive at the retreat center.  

It's pitch black. Not a light on except the blazingly obvious headlights of my car making it VERY obvious that a stranger has arrived onto the retreat center. 

DEFINITELY turn back!  

But, I didn't. 

There was this super silent whisper within.  Just trust, it kept saying. 

Finally, a glimmer of hope. I saw a light come on, then another, and another. I saw some movement. 

My heart started racing again. 

Am I REALLY going to go in there? 

One of 12, 3-ton Prayer
Wheels with over
147 BILLION prayers
embedded on them.

I finally couldn't stand the anticipation anymore.  

I walked into the vestibule outside of the meditation room and peeked inside. 

  

They LOOK normal. 

Well, sh*t, so did Michael Myers underneath the hockey mask! 

  

Oh, stop. Just go in. 

Behind me, the door opened it. 

I jumped so high with the sound of the door only to notice this totally normal-looking woman and she said, "Hi!" Woah....she's so....normal! 

"Hi," I responded, and then "I have NO idea what I am doing, I don't have a robe or anything, but I came for the meditation" spilled out of my mouth before I knew it.

"Well, come in and sit right here," Prema (I later found out her name was) said. 

I spent the next hour and 1/2 observing the most beautiful meditation ritual.  I was greeted with chanting, praying, and instruments and was enveloped with the soothing scent of incense. Most of the prayers I didn't understand, yet, I felt their power. 

Afterwards, many of the practitioners came up and introduced themselves and asked how I had gotten there. I told them the quick story, strategically leaving out the thoughts that they could be serial murderers. 

Prema invited me to have tea with them and I got to know more of THEIR stories and how they ended up living on a Buddhist retreat in the middle of nowhere as practitioners. 

My son, Rijken spinning
all 108 prayer wheels
releasing prayers to eliminate
war and famine and opening
up more compassion,
love and trust in the world.

As I sat there listening to their stories and sharing a beautiful early morning with them, my heart expanded inside. I had been led, once again, to another Soul Mama moment by that super-silent whisper that morning. 

It was almost drowned out by my ego trying to keep me safe, on the couch where I slept while visiting my mom. 

What if I hadn't gone? What if I had chosen to sleep in? What if I had chosen to make the attempt of backing up the long driveway and protecting myself from the "what-ifs" that were exploding in my head?

I would have missed a beautiful life experience.

As I turned around,
I saw Rijken giving thanks to the
prayers released.
PMM (proud mom moment) -
I didn't ask him to do it...
he simply felt led to give a bow of thanks!

I would have missed meeting these beautiful people who were so heart-warming, so compassionate, so inviting.

I would have missed the opportunity to experience something I had NEVER experienced before in my life for what? To stay safe? To stay in my comfort zone?

Where would that have gotten me?

It did get me out of my comfort zone....and VERY far out, I might add!

It got me new friends. It led me to a beautiful experience that had my heart brimming over with joy for the rest of the day.

It led me to SUCH a beautiful experience, I took my son back there the next day to experience the peace and calm of the place that I had been SO terrified to go to. What did I learn?

Fear will always appear...even when we think we have evolved beyond it, or have taken risks before and walked through fear with the misconception that we have conquered it forever.

Still, though, beyond the car alarm, the closed gate, the scary-ass drive through the California back-country, through all the what-if's, through all the fear of Michael Myers, there was this one constant in my life....whispering.... My inner Soul Mama, my intuition, nudging me on.

Not pushing. Gently encouraging.

Not trying to outwit my egoic thoughts.

Just whispering....just trust....just trust....just trust.

What more could we experience if we just trusted the infinite guidance of that Infinite Intelligence who only has our highest and best good in mind?

The possibilities are endless.

Undeserving of God's Love? Agree or Disagree?

"Let me ask you, if someone asked you if you are rich, what would you say?" my mom asked me.

"Yes, I am!" I answered.

My mom and stepdad just moved to the small mountain town of Lewiston, CA.

Having a désire to revisit her spiritual life, my mom went and checked out a church down the road that is the same religion as her upbringing, and my own.

She was telling me that the topic for that day were words that we must avoid in our lives…greed, lust, selfishness, etc.  

In my mind, I thought, huh, why concentrate on the words that we must avoid rather than the thoughts that we should seek out like joy, love, abundance.

I kept listening as my mom related to me the messages she received from the talk and how she felt herself connecting to God again.

Many of the messages she talked about were fear-based, yet she found the message behind them.

The newsletter she brought home (pictured above)  said on the front, "God's abundant generosity? We're underserving of God's extraordinary goodness, yet he showers us with grace."

Good God, I thought, I don't believe I am undeserving of God's love!

Nothing my mom talked about seemed inspiring, uplifting or motivational…to me.

…to her, she was feeling all of that.

How could I argue that or ruin that for her by saying I didn't agree with most of it?

Because, I understand that our path here on Earth is to find the path that leads us to God.  

Not every religion is for everyone.

There are different views, different opinions, and different perspectives.

We know this because wars have been started for centuries over the differing perspectives, yet…

…both sides of every war fight because they believe they have the right way to God.

What if, we all accepted each individual's path to God, no matter what their beliefs or opinions are?

At the beginning of our services at CSLCV, we light the candles for all major religions "honoring the path to God."

I truly understood this as I sat in the kitchen at my mom's and watched her glow with the experience she just had that brought her closer to God.

I realized, that because it's not my path of choice, that she was experiencing what I experience in prayer, meditation, classes and services at the Center for Spiritual Living - Capistrano Valley.

How can I argue with that?

How can I burst her bubble with MY perspective?

I couldn't.

So instead, I accepted that her experience gave her an experience of God.

"Mom," I said, "I am so glad you got out of it what you did.  That's what it's all about."

And so it is.  

To Hell with Extraordinary, I'm Settling for Ordinary

Nature brings on pretty major revelations for me.

So, it's no surprise I had another one, but this one was so pivotal.

So pivotal, in fact, that I wanted to share it on this blog because I think there are many who could gain an awareness from my experience.

 I spent the day in Lewiston, CA…yeah, I didn't know where it was either, up until about a week ago.

 My mom and stepdad decided to throw their "balls in the air," sell everything, move from South Carolina to Northern California to live in an RV and see what life was really all about…in their early 60's, I might add!

I went on a 12 hour road trip from Southern California to Northern with my two boys to check out my mom's new digs.

It was COUN-TRY!

Up a mountain, 30 miles from the nearest town, BLACK as black gets at night, but the sounds of nature roaring outside.

Born and raised in the country, I spent a majority of my adult years living in cities to escape the past and be "born again" in city living.

That said, the minute I passed through Redding, CA and started up the mountain to Lewiston, I knew I was back to my roots….my innards just expanded with joy.

As I spent the last couple of days painting with deer grazing 20 yards away, journaling

The "she-Buddha" painted in nature with deer grazing 20 yards away.

and meditating by a river so crisp and clear, I forgot that rivers existed like that, I started to "download" some pretty clear messages.

 First, I realized how nice it is to be disconnected from technology.  I have no cell phone service and no wifi.

I am fully dependent on my own natural abilities to entertain myself and kids….who knew I had it in me without technology?!?

So, we painted. Searched for acorns then planted them. We waded in the crisp Trinity River.

We explored by driving up and down mountain roads to see deer, horses, sheep and other creatures living their own "ordinary" lives….hell, we even saw a rattlesnake basking in the afternoon sun totally freaking me out.

An "ordinary" deer that was breath-taking in it's natural environment.

Here was the realization that came to me…. Everything around me is so….well, ordinary.

 Every redwood tree looks like the next.

Every river, lake and/or tributary looks the same.

The deer grazing in the yard all look the same.

Hell, even the stars that cover the night sky, just like my MacBook desktop, look the same.

Why, then, are they so damned extraordinary?

Why, then, do they make me feel so alive?

Why, then, does my soul expand every time I change eye direction?

I find myself so consumed with the "ordinary" beauty around me. You see one mountain in California, you've seen them all. You see one deer, you see them all...right?

One would think.

 But, I am so moved, almost to tears, every time I see another mountain expanding into the sky around a bend in the road. I've seen the same doe with her twin fawns multiple times a day since we arrived here three days ago, yet, they take my breath away every time I see them again.

When did "ordinary" become so extraordinary?

My contradiction? I've been blogging, tweeting, and creating programs teaching people to go from "ordinary to extraordinary," yet, my realization in the last couple of hours was… …that ordinary is, in fact, perfect.

 It's exactly what we are supposed to be because ordinary is perfection.

The tree is perfect.

The deer is perfect.

The Trinity river is perfect.

All of them "ordinary" to many, yet so freaking extraordinary if you really see it.

My life is ordinary, yet so freaking extraordinary….because I saw it for the first time today....in a different light.

 The clincher for this realization was today's reading in Science of Mind magazine:

"…we release the obsession with being extraordinary to the extent that we realize that we are already Godlike."

Shazam! 

The idea that was brewing in my mind over the last couple of days hit me like a ton of bricks.

I AM extraordinary just by being ordinary me because ordinary me is part of that Infinite Universe that mesmerizes me with all it's natural creation.

 I work my ass off to "be extraordinary," and it's been so darn exhausting!

And, how do I know when I've gotten there…to extraordinary, that is?

I am here now….at extraordinary.

 …And so are you.

 I take back all the "forget ordinary, be extraordinary's" I've ever put out to the Universe…

 I don't make any apologies for misleading you or anyone else if I did because our "job," if you want to call it that, in this lifetime is to evolve our thinking, and that's just what I've done in the mountains of California.

 What an amazing realization!

Instead of busting our asses to be extraordinary, one of the easiest ways to be happier in life is simply to embrace or ordinary-dom! I have spent some time, back in my roots in the country, and have allowed the "real me" to stand up and exclaim…

"Forget extraordinary, be ordinary!"

...and I'll add, "...and be DAMN proud of it!"

Because ordinary is where it's at.

Let's rock out some ordinary and walk proud knowing we are Divine perfection!

How Evolved Are You? Visit Your Family - Part 2

Last week I posted a blog about the anticipation of visiting my drama-ridden family in Pennsylvania.

I had mentioned a saying I once heard, "If you want to know how evolved you are, visit your family for three days."

So, after almost eight years of being away from my family, I set off for a 12 hour drive with my kids and my mom to visit our family in Pennsylvania...the family I had left at the age of 18 and rarely visited since.

I was worried about the drama.  I was worried about the lower energy.  I was worried about what would happen.

Well, contrary to everything I know, my worry was simply worrying about something that hadn't happened....

....and, to my surprise, it didn't.

After traveling so far, I took time to reconnect with my cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc. and sat up night after night reminiscing about old times.

We had a picnic in the very spot in the yard of my grandmother's house that we had spent so many summers in the past.

My kids saw lightening bugs for the first time.

Catching Lightening Bugs

They experienced my crazy uncle throwing boxes of firecrackers into the fire scaring the sh*t out of all of us as he did EVERY summer that we picnicked in that same spot.

We went horseback riding.

We laughed, we hugged, and we remembered good memories....forgetting to bring up the old, not-so-memorable ones.

Was there drama going on around us?  

Of course.

Did I notice it?

Not really?

What I noticed were the family members who wanted to catch up.

What I noticed was the quiet beauty all around me that I took for granted all those years growing up in Pottstown....the rolling farmland, the blackest black of night, the lightening bugs, the deafening sound of crickets.

I noticed the kids of my cousins laughing with my own boys.

I noticed the love that our family has for each other that sometimes is blinded by the arguing that goes on.

Mostly, I noticed how far I have come in my own mind.

I could have gotten involved in the gossip or drama going on, but I chose to notice the beautiful love deeply embedded in my family.

As I returned back to South Carolina in another 12 hour drive, I noticed how well-behaved my kids were.

The worry I had going into this trip was all for naught.

Another reminder that worry is all about something that hasn't happened, and if we are aware enough of our thinking, probably won't happen.

Thank you, Universe for this amazing reminder, this amazing family I have, and this amazing life I am living!

I am truly grateful.

Regaining My Identity from "Mom" to Inspired, Beautiful, Nurtured Mom

School is out.

Summer is here.

Last Tuesday, I sent my two boys off to South Carolina with my mom for the next six weeks.

As I did so, I questioned that decision wondering what I would do with myself during the time they were gone.

I had a lot of friends who said, "Wow, how lucky you are!!  But, what are you going to DO for 6 weeks?"  I also had some who said they wouldn't know what to do with themselves without kids.

I have had a lot of emotions around it, but last night, I had a big breakthrough about it.

Last year, I wrote a book, S.O.U.L. Mama, and it is about creating a new paradigm of living, especially as a mom.  Part of the book was allowing myself to lose my identity to my kids, my job, my life, etc.  It took my life crashing down around me to realize what had happened and to find the tools and principles to create a new paradigm of living and re-learn who I was.

What I realized last night is how quickly it is to lose one's identity to their kids, even after the tumultuous journey I have been through.  I realized that the concern I was feeling about what I'd do with myself for six weeks, the guilt I felt when other moms said, "Wow, that's a long time! I couldn't do that," which made me feel like a bad mom, was all because I had gone back to an old paradigm of identifying myself as only a mom.

What I have come to realize is that I am more than that.  I am ME and I have a purpose and an identity outside of being a mom.

I realized in a moment how important it is in these next six weeks to take time for myself.  To get back in touch with who I am, what I am here to do, and do the things that make ME happy.

It's a time, that I believe, the Universe divinely set in front of me so that I was able to remember who I am.  How perfect that I have a mother who is young and spry enough to take on two young, active boys for six weeks.  How perfect that, at this time,  I have a new creative project that needs my attention and that brings me joy and now, I have the time to spend on it.  How perfect that I live in a place so filled with natural beauty that I can meditate, pray or just be at the beach, by the pool or in nature whenever and however long I need to be there.

I realized last night how divinely all of this has come to be.

I realized how supported I am by the Universe to live my life full out, which includes nurturing myself, bringing my creative gifts to the world, and doing so to be the best mom I can possibly be.

Last night, I let go of the guilt, the second-guessing and the feeling that maybe six weeks was too long.

Last night, I embraced the beauty of perfect timing, perfect alignment, and perfect nurturing, so when my boys return, I am even more energized, inspired, and totally, completely in love with them in an expanded way from when they left.

Today, I embrace these next six weeks.

I give thanks for them.  I show my gratitude by nurturing myself and being an even better mom at the end of them.  Thank you, Universe for this blessing!

A Tornado Victims Speaks Five Words that WILL Change the World

Photo courtesy of Anchorman Blog

Tragedy struck in Moore, Oklahoma on May 20, 2013.

Many families suffered great loss; from the loss of homes, personal belongings, to the unimaginable loss of life.

As I watched the news coverage the day following, I heard many victims say, "We lost everything," "I don't know what we'll do," or "I'm not sure where we go from here..."

But one comment hit me like a ton of bricks...the ONE comment that is not the normal outlook after a tragedy like this...the ONE comment that can change the lives of millions in our world...

One woman said it nonchalantly.  Without a morsel of emotion, with only the monotonous voice one in shock can use, yet, holding a conviction that will deliver to her, exactly what she wants.   She said,

"We get to start over."

"We GET to start over!"

When most are understandably thinking about the losses they experienced, this ONE woman, is looking forward to what she GETS to create.

In my own personal work, I coach clients to create days where they wake up and feel the excitement of the day in what they GET to do...not what they HAVE to do or SHOULD do...what they GET to do!

That's a feeling to adopt and create on any given day...a "normal" day.

For someone to adopt that mindset on what just may be the most tragic day of their life is something else.

What she GETS to do is start over, reinvent her life and create it exactly as she desires it.

Yes, from the physical things like rebuilding her home to exactly how she wants it, maybe sending her kids to a new, re-built, state-of-the-art school, maybe finally getting the car she's always wanted.

But also, she GETS to choose how she looks back at May 20, 2013.  She gets to choose to see it as a fresh start.  She gets to choose to move forward in her life with a grateful mindset of surviving, starting over and designing a life she loves.

My heart goes out to all of those suffering after a natural disaster like this.  But for those who are seeing the light in it, I send my greatest gratitude to them.  For their own insight empowers others in their "normal" lives to challenge themselves to see the light in everyday challenges.

If one person can take tragedy, see the light in it, and transform her life from it, she teaches others how to do the same; spreading the light to many others, maybe even millions of others, who choose to see the light instead of the darkness.

Power on, Oklahoma...see the light, create something spectacular and inspire the world!  You've got our prayers and our energy with you, as well as millions worldwide.  With that, anything is possible...anything!

Light and Life: A lesson in Abundance

Even a little light is more than enough to make a beautiful photograph

I have a confession to make. My reoccurring life lessons, up until most recently, involved prosperity and abundance. Over and over, I would experience times of financial struggle followed by prosperity followed by more struggle. "I'm done with this," I would tell myself when the dollars in my bank account dwindled.

But, we bring about what we think about, right? And my reoccurring self talk centered on "we can't afford this" or "we don't have enough money for that." And my thinking focused on the core belief that the material things I had weren't really good enough. Flipping through magazines, I saw beautiful creative interiors that looked spacious and tidy. As I scanned my own home, all I saw was mess, mismatched furniture and dated appliances. Then I got a surprising lesson on abundance from an unexpected place.

I signed up for a photography class about light and life.

In the first lesson, the instructor asked us to look for light around our homes, not outside, at all different times of the day and in all the rooms of the house. She encouraged us to trust that even a small sliver of light was enough to make a beautiful photograph. 

Notice the light. Focus on the light. The light inside.

When I put my attention on the light, I began to see beautiful and abundant light throughout my home. At some time during the day, each room had enough light. And I found that less light, highlights in just the right places, was even more beautiful.

What you put your attention on grows.

Toys and laundry still littered the floor. I still found dirty dishes in the sink. But, my perspective changed. Instead of thinking about what wasn't there, I noticed what was...abundant light.

The second part of the lesson encouraged us to view a photo documentary by Darcy Padilla called The Julie Project, a 17-year story of an HIV positive, drug addicted woman. Our instructor encouraged us to look at the creative use of light and how it was used to make the viewer feel deep emotions. I clicked on the link and was changed forever.

Look for the light. There is always enough light.

It was so difficult to look at the images yet I couldn't stop myself. It was sad, hopeful then heart wrenching. Things got bad, better, then worse. But throughout the entire project, there was light, even in the darkest places.

As a whole, the lesson offered me perspective, a balance to the shiny and perfect life portrayed daily in the media. Every ounce of entitlement drained out of me. I felt nothing but gratitude for everything around me and I mean everything. I honestly felt to the core of my being that I had everything I needed and I was beyond blessed.

I am abundant and wealthy, so very, very wealthy. 

My thinking changed. Now I give thanks often throughout the day for my car that works and the food in my fridge. I say thank you God for a computer and a high speed Internet connection! I mean seriously, if that's not rich what is? I have a home with people I love and who love me. I've got it good and now I can see it more clearly than ever before. And from that clarity, I experience great peace and simply enjoy the light.

If you are feeling brave today, ready for a life-changing moment or just want to see how even a little light is enough, experience The Julie Project for yourself and then come back and share your thoughts with me!

The Julie Project

The Importance of Continuous Spiritual Learning

This week I start two 8-week classes to continue my spiritual learning at the Center for Spiritual Living - Capistrano Valley.  I will be participating in "The Creative Process in the Individual" and "Meditation is More Than You Think."

The commitment for me personally is much more than dedicating two nights a week to my own personal spiritual growth.

It's making sure I have child care.  It's making sure my boys are bathed early, already fed, and ready for bed by the time I leave for my classes.  By the time I get to a night class, I may be tired, but I also know that when I leave that night, I will no longer be the person I was walking in.

That could be an easy excuse to bow out of classes, and yes, it would be much easier to do so, however, I know that the commitments I have made to spiritual classes, business seminars, etc. in the past have up-levelled my life in such a way that it's no longer an option to stop.

I once heard, "If you aren't growing, then you are staying the same."

Because of my continued growth in the last few years, I'm stronger, I'm worry-free, I'm more successful, I'm more patient with my kids, I am more loving and appreciative towards my husband.  I'm better at what I do because I continue to stretch myself.  All because I committed to continued learning.

For every class I take there are others committing to their same growth.

We grow together and thrive together!  We watch each other grow, we build a community of support and guidance.  I'm not alone in this endeavor, I simply ask that you take a look in the mirror and ask, "How have I committed myself to my own spiritual growth?"

The lesson here is:  We commit to our families, our children, our jobs, etc.  But it's MORE important to commit to ourselves! As we continue to grow spiritually, we automatically become better at all the roles we play in life...i.e. father, daughter, wife, husband, mother, father, etc.

I invite you to join me this week and be my partner in advancing our spiritual growth - Visit the Center's home page to see what classes are being offered!

Adventure in Faith Events

The month of October is host to our celebration of commitment called Adventure in Faith.

Our AIF steering committee has been working for the past few months to bring you an exciting, meaningful and profitable celebration.

For me, being a mom with a business, getting events into my calendar early is the key to keeping organized and not missing a thing that I want to do to fill my soul.  So, get your calendar ready and be sure to mark down the wonderful things we have planned that you want to take part in!

To make it easy, I'll give you dates and descriptions so you know exactly what "floats your boat!"

Sunday, September 30 - Find a Sacred Circle in your area and come together with members of your community to watch and discuss the movie, "Phenomenon."  CLICK HERE to learn more about Sacred Circles. 

Sunday, October 7 - Help us celebrate our first service in our new Center located at 1201 Puerta Del Sol, Ste. 100, San Clemente, CA 92673.  There will only be ONE service held at 10:30 a.m.

Sunday, October 14 - Join us at the Center for a wonderful prosperity workshop at 1:00 p.m. hosted by Rev. Karen Russo, author of "The Money Keys."  Learn more about Karen Russo and her signature workshop HERE

Sunday, October 21 - Raffle tickets are on sale for wonderful Adventure in Faith gifts and prizes.  Come to our Sunday Service at 10:30 and be sure to visit the table outside to learn more about the give-aways!

Sunday, November 4 - Join us for a Harvest Festival after our services!  Sign up for a silent auction to win your spot at a special dinner of your choice hosted by members of our Center.  Gourmets for God is a fun fundraising opportunity to bid on the dinner you want to attend and all proceeds go to our beautiful new Center.

Also, there will be a LIVE auction of beautiful artwork given to our Center by members and outside artists who wanted to help our fundraiser. I have gotten a sneak peak of some of the art, and I will tell you, you won't want to miss out on the auction.  There are some fabulous pieces, so if you've got a blank wall in the house, get yourself a beautiful piece of art at our live auction!

Lastly, bring your family to enjoy the wonders of fall and great family activities that will be going on during the Harvest Festival.

As we move through the month of October, we will be announcing upcoming events during the service, however, this is to give you a heads up of the events coming up!


photo courtesy of Kelly's Kindergarden

What's Up with Sacred Circles?

Our Adventure in Faith celebration is quickly approaching in October. 

Adventure in Faith is a celebration of commitment.  Commitment to one's continued growth.  Commitment to our center, both financially and spiritually...and a commitment to our community.


Napolean Hill taught in his book, "Think and Grow Rich" about the importance of surrounding yourself with like-minded people to continue your own growth.

There are many activities planned for our month-long Adventure in Faith celebration, but one that is most fulfilling are the Sacred Circles.

Sacred Circles meet once a week at a host's home and this year, we will watch parts of the movie, "Phenomenon" starring John Travolta.  Just as in a book club, we will discuss our biggest take-aways from each part, how we can implement what we learn in the movie to our lives, and we can surround ourselves with people who are of like-minds.

For me personally, being new to our Center last year, the Sacred Circles allowed me to get to know a smaller group of members and really create a bond with them.  I formed a great bond with the group that taught me some great tools and principles that have come to create great change in my life.

Join a Sacred Circle.  Get to know our community and create a group of friends who truly have your highest good at heart and want to help you create an amazing life!

You can join one of about 10 Sacred Circles located in all areas of South Orange County.  Visit us for our last service at the Center for Spiritual Living - Capistrano this Sunday, September 30 to sign up for a Sacred Circle near you!

Week 5 in the "9 Keys to Creating a Phenomenon in Your Life"

I caught up with Kathy Story this week and asked her to share key #5 in the 9 Keys to Creating a Phenomenon in Your Life."

Here is what she had to share on Serving....

Be sure to grab your Serving Exercise HERE to find out how to implement this key into your life!

9 Keys to Creating a Phenomenon in Your Life

In the spirit of giving, the CSLCV is offering a 9 - week online series called, "The 9 Keys to Creating a Phenomenon in Your Life."

This video series will lead up to our October Adventure in Faith Celebration, which everyone is invited to...both members of our center and members of South Orange County interested in expanding their spiritual awareness are welcome, but more on that to come! 

We look forward to sharing this series with you, and helping you to create a phenomenon in your life!