Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Authenticity & Connection

January and February are past, but their themes, Authenticity and Connection, are still very much with me. The more I reflect on these two the more inextricably linked they become … truly the proverbial chicken and the egg.

Connection is why we are here. I heard that loud and clear from a multitude of sources this past month. And Authenticity, that desire to live as our true selves, resonates which each of us. We instinctively know we have gifts that only we can give. We know this.

“In order to experience connection we need to allow ourselves to be seen … really seen.” Authenticity at it’s finest.

So what gets in our way of experiencing these blissful states?

Fear & Shame
Shame is described by Brene Brown in the TedTalk below, “Shame is the fear of disconnection. Is there something about me that if other people know it or see it that I won’t be worthy of connection?”

I don’t like vulnerability.
I don’t like fear.
And I feel shame at the drop of a hat.

It’s something that makes me feel more fragile than a porcelain doll. And I will push away anyone who makes me feel this way, either that or indulge in my version of “a couple beers and a banana nut muffin.”

I just need that cushy bubble between me and the rest of the world.

But at the same time I am painfully aware of what Brene shared “you can’t selectively numb emotion.” You numb out vulnerability, grief, shame, fear, disappointment and you also numb out joy, gratitude, happiness, and creativity.”

The antidotes she discovered in her research:
  • to let ourselves be seen 
  • to love with our whole hearts 
  • to practice gratitude and joy 
  • to know I am enough 

And so I will be on the lookout for “Tools for Transformation” in these areas.